Online dating - i hate the great outdoors

[Nothappyatwork]

Every bloody profile I meet online seems to be detailing about how they love to get on the bike and go up a mountain they love to walk up a mountain to kayak down the mountain they are looking forward to jumping in a campervan and setting off to see the world they like to travel these people have like commitments and mortgages and like children they see at the weekend ?
The mind boggles.
In the UK it’s permanently fricking pissing down even during the summer when you get into the sticks where anything is vaguely green.

Obviously I wouldn’t mind a hike if we lived in Peru or somewhere less grey.

Are they all having a different kind of midlife crisis what happened to buying a Porsche and whipping me off to 5 star hotels ?

Camping is usually mix of single/married friends.

@willowbough

Camping is usually mix of single/married friends.

I think the major difference is is that they’re not looking to shag each other 🤦‍♀️ You’ve got your little circle or any of them newcomers to the circle you might understand a little bit more about what I mean when you find yourself in the pool. With your waterproof mascara on

"think the major difference is is that they’re not looking to shag each other 🤦‍♀️"

That's not unheard of, actually!

Super weird thread! Sometimes we take the kids camping (my minge hair has never ended up down to my knees)
We enjoy walking the dogs and just being outside.
Sometimes we stay somewhere with more facilities when finances allow and I do my hair and makeup.
It is totally possible to enjoy both.
Online dating profiles are all about being as impressive as possible to the kind of person you want to attract.....just move on if you don't like someone's blurb.

@GlamorousHeifer given your repeated use of the word we ….. I suspect you weren’t the target audience of this thread 🤦‍♀️

I think the major difference is is that they’re not looking to shag each other
I am struggling to think of a boyfriend I haven't shagged in a tent....I think there may be one. I have been shagging whilst camping for 30 years.

Shagging in a tent? OMG no way - there's just too many awful things to think about that in that scenario . 30 years ? No way! 😂

Every man I went to school with that had a drug and or alcohol problem and is now sober (ish) climbs up mountains now or surfs.

I actually love the outdoors and don't hate camper vanning. The trick is to get a decent tan on, eyebrows and eyelash tints and then you'll still look nice enough for camping.

But the majority of ex addicts that now love the outdoors are just as boring as what they were when they were on the bag! The difference is they aren't using coke to talk about their depressing lives and they now instead go on about biking or hiking.

@Ionlydomassiveones

I’m with you op. I’ve spent a lifetime being open minded about the ‘outdoor life’ as my DH loves it and I do like the odd walk. But it’s all so dull and boring. When you’ve seen one field you’ve seen them all. What he regards a ‘beautiful view’ when we arrive puffing and panting at the top of some hill - I can’t get excited about - it all looks drab, bleak and featureless. No civilisation, no warmth, nothing to inspire. Gardens - yes. Pretty Cotswold streets and cafes - yes. Drab hills - no. Bloody dog walkers everywhere - no. No toilets and mud - no. Camping - just no for a thousand reasons that come under the heading of ‘basic comfort’ and ‘grooming’.

I did enjoy a coastal walk once because there were pasties, sea views and a pub at the end of it. But otherwise it’s just crap.

The moral of this story op is that I’ve been with DH over 30 years. I do the boring outdoor stuff sometimes, he tolerates my Netflix and my love of ‘just sitting and eating crisps’. Opposites attract!

@Ionlydomassiveones

Where has he taken you hill walking btw?

I prefer mossy, magical woodlands, waterfalls and maybe some dramatic cliffs by the sea. Big views are nice, but I just don't enjoy walking 3-4 hrs up hill to get to the top only to have to come back down again along a path that might not be that inspiring.

@myrtleWilson no one else seems to have appreciated the song!! It's actually one of my all time favourites.

Shagging in a tent? OMG no way
You are so right outside the tent is much more fun. -

Chatting to another one at the moment ability army type who spends all his time when he’s at work basically living in the dirt and his idea of a flame in holiday he’s getting off the beaten track and traipsing through the rainforest how is that relaxing how 🙄

@Nothappyatwork

Chatting to another one at the moment ability army type who spends all his time when he’s at work basically living in the dirt and his idea of a flame in holiday he’s getting off the beaten track and traipsing through the rainforest how is that relaxing how 🙄

So why are you chatting to him? You don't have much in common; people like different things; so move on...

You're way too invested in having a go at other people's hobbies and interests. Focus on your own interests and finding someone who shares them.

@thirstyformore I'm there for it. I'm a huge fan and love that song, and also thought of it when I saw this thread.

I'm single 40+ divorcee and bloody love the outdoors and would be attracted to that on a profile.

I too think this is a weird thread, it's a lot to get uptight about!

But there’s more than likely some common ground, with this guy or with others? Most people like doing a whole range of different things. And that’s what you focus on: the things which interest you both, the holidays you’d like to go on together. In every one of my relationships (and in all the happiest relationships I know) there are the activities you do together and those you do separately or with friends. So when he’s off playing in the dirt with his friends, you’re having cocktails (or whatever) with yours. That’s healthy. It’s unrealistic to expect your interests to be wholly identical and I think if that’s what you’re fixed on finding in somebody, you’re going to click with very few men.

@ComtesseDeSpair

But there’s more than likely some common ground, with this guy or with others? Most people like doing a whole range of different things. And that’s what you focus on: the things which interest you both, the holidays you’d like to go on together. In every one of my relationships (and in all the happiest relationships I know) there are the activities you do together and those you do separately or with friends. So when he’s off playing in the dirt with his friends, you’re having cocktails (or whatever) with yours. That’s healthy. It’s unrealistic to expect your interests to be wholly identical and I think if that’s what you’re fixed on finding in somebody, you’re going to click with very few men.

ordinarily you are right and it expands your horizons to date people with different interests, but in this case OP has a lot of contempt for certain hobbies and just wants to sneer at people who say they are into outdoors activities

@Frogium …. No sneering…. more titillation at the fact that we will know it’s not actually true

@Nothappyatwork

Chatting to another one at the moment ability army type who spends all his time when he’s at work basically living in the dirt and his idea of a flame in holiday he’s getting off the beaten track and traipsing through the rainforest how is that relaxing how 🙄

Erm because messing around in mud and being outdoors IS relaxing for a lot of people? Just like kids love it, so do adults. Have you really genuinely never encountered women who play sport or have these hobbies? Because you can do that and still get glammed up and do meals out. All our top sports women or the hiking/cycling influencers all scrub up very well alongside being outdoorsy. I mean for my birthday, I climbed a mountain in the morning and then went for a Michelin starred dinner (in different clothes obv). So when I was OLD, I was looking for a someone who would do both those things with me. But there will be plenty of men who hate the outdoors - I would assume someone in the army isn't one of them. But just because he likes the mud doesn't mean he expects you to join in! You can also just hold out for someone more like you and not get so offended by everyone who isn't.

The over 60s are the same, op with the added proviso that they want
children. The oldest one I saw wanting children was 83.
And most look like they l need help getting out of a chair.

[quote thirstyformore][/quote]
I was only here to see if anyone had posted Evan Dando. 😍

Why dont you just post what you like on your profile and wait for someone who likes similar to contact you?

@KissedintheDark

The over 60s are the same, op with the added proviso that they want children. The oldest one I saw wanting children was 83. And most look like they l need help getting out of a chair.

Ah you see in their 40’s-50’s they don’t want to children are more to the point they don’t want you to have children which frankly I mean I don’t know many women in their 40s who don’t have teenagers. So the message I’m overwhelmingly getting here is that they would like me to have Sat around for 47 years waiting for them to enter my life at which point we can then together carry out all the hobbies that they enjoy.

I don’t know many women in their 40s who don’t have teenagers.

I think this is influenced by the fact that you yourself have teenagers. Mums socialise with mums. Your social circle isn't representative of everyone though; there are lots of non-mums out there.

I'm in my 40s and don't have children, and the majority of women in my social circle are in the same boat. As a result, I know LOADS of interesting, successful, fun women in their 40s who don't have children, don't want children, and are living enjoyable lives doing the hobbies they enjoy.

Just because your social circle doesn't include a certain type of person doesn't mean they don't exist.

@DragonOverTheMoon

Every man I went to school with that had a drug and or alcohol problem and is now sober (ish) climbs up mountains now or surfs.

I actually love the outdoors and don't hate camper vanning. The trick is to get a decent tan on, eyebrows and eyelash tints and then you'll still look nice enough for camping.

But the majority of ex addicts that now love the outdoors are just as boring as what they were when they were on the bag! The difference is they aren't using coke to talk about their depressing lives and they now instead go on about biking or hiking.

Love this. So fucking true !

"Ah you see in their 40’s-50’s they don’t want to children are more to the point they don’t want you to have children which frankly I mean I don’t know many women in their 40s who don’t have teenagers."

That's interesting that some don't want us to have children. Sorry if I'm generalising, and going off topic, but an older teenager, while being a priority and still requiring parental care, will not be as problematic where childcare arrangements and so on are concerned, and there's little chance the man would be expected to be involved, or as some sort of stepfather figure?