Why is it that there are plenty of beautiful women with great personalities but so few good-looking men who aren't jerks?

[MECC]

Obviously, attractiveness is subjective, but there are plenty of people we can all agree are conventionally attractive (even if we are not personally attracted to them). I have always noticed that there are plenty of conventionally attractive women who are intelligent, educated, sensitive, and kind but men who are conventionally attractive are almost unanimously obnoxious jerks. No man with a six-pack or wide chest is reading in his spare time!

I think it is because women face a lot of pressure to conform to appearances, even if they have succeeded in other areas. As for men, they don't need to look a certain way to be taken seriously if they already have accomplishments.

This is why plenty of men who go to the gym do so to impress women, but virtually no woman does so to impress men. Men want to be noticed by women but no woman wants men to notice her bum or cleavage. In fact, it disgusts them to think that men are checking them out. I think it is just that women face so much in terms of beauty pressure they feel they do have to look a certain way. In turn, women never feel as if they look good enough. How often have you heard a woman express pride in her appearance? Even the most fit and beautiful 25 y/o thinks she looks mediocre at best. Conventionally attractive men on the other hand, can't stop bragging about their looks.

Does anybody else have thoughts on this?

@MECC
It's funny because it's so misguided.
'For instance, men find large breasts attractive, but any woman with large breasts will tell you they hate it because of the back issues they cause and the difficulty of finding a decent bra. Men with abs on the other hand are more than happy to show them off.'
So no woman wears a low cut top? Boob jobs?
'I cannot think of any woman who would go to the gym to be more attractive to men'
Go to the squat rack. Wasn't popular with women before the Kardashian ass trend.
Something odd about the OP. And I don't think Yahoo and The Sun count as studies 😂😂😂

@yellowsmileyface @MoreHolidays @oliviastwisted @Gonnagetgoing @LimeSupper @Anniissa
I think you would find the studies I linked earlier interesting. Also, I would love to hear your thoughts on this video:
At 3.40 the cohost says "You can't trust a man with abs like that."
@NightmareSlashDelightful @HowlongWillThisTakeNow I was talking about straight men, not women or gay men.
@VerveCliqueI am a woman.

@ComtesseDeSpair I encourage you to read the studies I linked and watch the video above. It sounds to me that you are having casual sex with several people (nothing wrong with that!), so maybe if you were to get to know these men you would understand what I'm talking about.

Yes I have read the studies you linked to OP but as others have pointed out your generalisations are cliched and offensive. Also it is no surprise that Michelle Keegan has a lack of confidence, she has spoken publicly about her anxiety and mental health on several occasions.

Below, I have listed some of your most ridiculously untrue things you said. None of which of true. They are all huge generalisations. You seem hung up on the fact that no women want attention from men and that just isn’t the case. It may be for you (and me now I’m older) but many women do seek male attention. Also, men who work out don’t read? Really, none of them? Your comments are so silly that your post reads like a wind up tbh. I cannot believe that anyone actually believes some of these things you’ve written.

• No man with a six-pack or wide chest is reading in his spare time!
• This is why plenty of men who go to the gym do so to impress women, but virtually no woman does so to impress men. Men want to be noticed by women but no woman wants men to notice her bum or cleavage
• Conventionally attractive men on the other hand, can't stop bragging about their looks.
• As for men trying to attract women, think of it this way; If I were to convince a bunch of men that wearing green would attract women, they would all start wearing green. If I were to convince a bunch of women that wearing green would attract men, they would throw out all of their green clothes.
• I cannot think of any woman who would go to the gym to be more attractive to men. What woman wants to be noticed by men?

@roastedsaltedpeanut

This has always been the most fascinating an aspect of sociology for me.

My understanding is that the difference you described is fundamentally caused by the fact women have babies. Women inevitably take a hit on earning ability (possibly earning potential) when we have babies. We depend on our partner, at least for a short while, for shelter protection food etc. men do not suffer from the same. *Only women who choose to never have children are free from this constraint, but suffer in retirement from loneliness and possibly financial hardship like all childless people.

Ideally women prefer beautiful and rich men who has high social status either from his profession or his contribution to society (Red cross doctors, international charity president, scientist etc). Women value ability, integrity, morals, social status over beauty. And money of course. Some women choose money over looks, while other choose ability over looks. But overall beauty is the first thing to be sacrificed, making it the least important of the desirable aspect when searching for a mate (husband, partner or father of the children) to settle down with.

Men, on the other hand, do not have to contemplate the inevitable hit in earning potential from child bearing years. Out of all the desirable attributes of a potential mate, Men value beauty above all else. It’s sad but it’s true. Men prefer beauty over great personality, successful career, fantastically inquisitive mind.

Consequently, a fantastically successful woman is not considered “good” unless she is also physically attractive. A male version of her do not have to be physically attractive to find quality mates.

As for why beautiful men are jerks, i think that’s because beauty is all they have got. Bear in mind had they been able to achieve success in other fields (finance, science, charity, medicine etc) they would most definitely concentrate their effort in those more rewarding sectors with longevity than focusing on the fleeting beauty.
Such beautiful but rude men are doing what they can to attractive mates before their beauty fades and they will have nothing left. Keeping body fat percentage low enough to have visible six pack takes tremendous time and discipline, it is highly plausible they aren’t reading because they don’t have the time to read.

Many women go back to full time work after maternity leave and balance their careers with family life. Men who work flexible hours to help with childcare or even become stay at home dads are more common these days then before and most dads are much more involved in their children's life. There is no norm anymore because people's lifestyles vary and we are much more flexible then 60 years ago.

People's preferences also vary. I'm a woman and physical atraction is very important to me. I have never been with someone I haven't considered attractive and I would definitely not settle just because someone has a house and money.

And personality has very little to do with how beautiful someone is.

I really don't think those black and white generalisations are helpful and it's not how life works.

@LimeSupper

“No man with a six-pack or wide chest is reading in his spare time!”

Errrr what? My husband is incredibly handsome, has a six-pack, a Masters degree and reads in his spare time. Of course he’s not the only one. Good looking people of any sex can be well-read, educated and interesting.

Mine has a Ph.D!

It’s like saying that no woman with big boobs or blonde hair reads in her spare time! I thought these sort of sexist cliches were a thing of the past.

It sounds to me that you are having casual sex with several people (nothing wrong with that!), so maybe if you were to get to know these men you would understand what I'm talking about.

Well, you’re wrong again: I have a husband and several other partners (open relationship) and many good male friends I’ve known for years. I expect I know far more men more closely than you do

A journalistic article and an excerpt from GMB featuring influencers are hardly academic studies.

Because we live in an extremely sexist society and have much higher standards for women than we do for men.

Thoughts? OP is talking rubbish.

Adult DD loves attention from men. She revels in it. She is a consummate show-off. Especially about her looks. I suppose her hair is her glory, not her bum or cleavage. Happy to flaunt all assets. She often thanks me for giving her good eyebrows.

@EssexLioness

Yes I have read the studies you linked to OP but as others have pointed out your generalisations are cliched and offensive. Also it is no surprise that Michelle Keegan has a lack of confidence, she has spoken publicly about her anxiety and mental health on several occasions.

Below, I have listed some of your most ridiculously untrue things you said. None of which of true. They are all huge generalisations. You seem hung up on the fact that no women want attention from men and that just isn’t the case. It may be for you (and me now I’m older) but many women do seek male attention. Also, men who work out don’t read? Really, none of them? Your comments are so silly that your post reads like a wind up tbh. I cannot believe that anyone actually believes some of these things you’ve written.

• No man with a six-pack or wide chest is reading in his spare time!
• This is why plenty of men who go to the gym do so to impress women, but virtually no woman does so to impress men. Men want to be noticed by women but no woman wants men to notice her bum or cleavage
• Conventionally attractive men on the other hand, can't stop bragging about their looks.
• As for men trying to attract women, think of it this way; If I were to convince a bunch of men that wearing green would attract women, they would all start wearing green. If I were to convince a bunch of women that wearing green would attract men, they would throw out all of their green clothes.
• I cannot think of any woman who would go to the gym to be more attractive to men. What woman wants to be noticed by men?

Did the studies not convince you? It seems most women agree with me, as they do not want to date a muscular man. Please watch the video above. Have you heard any woman ever speak any differently about their body than Keegan or say they want to be noticed?

What about any of those things is untrue?

By the way, women do not necessarily choose to be blonde or have large breasts. Men with six-packs have usually made choices leading to such. Not to mention even intelligent women feel the need to look a certain way.

@lljkk

Thoughts? OP is talking rubbish.

Adult DD loves attention from men. She revels in it. She is a consummate show-off. Especially about her looks. I suppose her hair is her glory, not her bum or cleavage. Happy to flaunt all assets. She often thanks me for giving her good eyebrows.

Since when have men cared about hair or eyebrows? Women notice other women's eyebrows and hair, but men hardly ever do.

Saying most women don’t want to date a muscular man is very different to saying that muscular men don’t read books!
Also yes I have heard and had personal experience of women who are confident in their looks or want to attract men. You seem to projecting a lot of your own views/ issues surrounding men onto the issue.
Anyway, I am done. This thread is so idiotic it’s like playing chess with a pigeon. I’m not wasting anymore of my time. Btw OP there are plenty of people on this post that disagree with you, perhaps focus on them instead of tagging me

@ComtesseDeSpair
www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna47961620 This is a piece on an academic study
This is an academic study. journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167207303022
The GMB video shows an older woman and two younger girls agreeing that men with abs are untrustworthy. If I am wrong, why does it have cross-generational support?
@SauceGirl I do not think women wear low-cut tops for men. They do it because they like it. The studies I previously linked to can be found above. Anyway, most women do not like they look. Very few do: heartofleadership.org/statistics/
@lljkk
Look at the link above.

“Most women” may not want to date a muscular man - however, a very significant proportion do want to date a tall man. From personal anecdotal experience, being over 6ft seems to more desirable even than handsome features.

I feel being tall is just as superficial a quality as looks and fitness - in that it’s something on the surface that attracts people rather than something you can only discover by getting to know someone. It isn’t something you can really work on though, unlike fitness, style and looks. A guy’s either got it or he hasn’t.

The article is a whole lot of “may” and “might” and “we think”, about a very small study. The academic piece doesn’t conclude what you seem to think it does, and certainly not that attractive men are almost always “jerks.” I’m not going to draw anything from what two Love Island rejects think is universally true about men and women and what they like, sad to say.

Look at what... "women indicate that their most recent short-term sex partners were more muscular than their other sex partners" ?

Does "other sex" mean trans and non-binary... oh well. Not like I care.

Fair to say that DD is competitive with women AND men. And hopes to be admired &/or feared by all. She'd like to rule others. Possibly channelling Maggie Thatcher, that one.

"The GMB video shows an older woman and two younger girls agreeing that men with abs are untrustworthy. If I am wrong, why does it have cross-generational support?"

Not sure which is funnier between this and the first comment I highlighted from another poster. 😂😂😂

Even Michelle Keegan does not think she is attractive:

Bollocks.

If she reuly said she doesbt think she's attractive, shes heung disingenuous. Does she think.she gets acting roles purely on acting talent, dies she thinks she had cosmetics and clothing modelling contracts because she's not attractive/good looking?

No.

*being

No man with a six-pack or wide chest is reading in his spare time!

Given that one men's health latest co.perotion winning cover models was the vet ...

All sorts of men body build and train, including ones who "read".

I'm losing count of the no of ridiculous statements in your op.

I do not think women wear low-cut tops for men. They do it because they like it

Sure thing.

So you can categorically say that all women who get boob jobs and show them off dont do it to be more attractive to men? Rubbish! Some women do it to please themselves but I know many women who get their lips done and botox so they are attractive to men! I know a group who all fiercely compete on a night out for male attention, they would scratch each others eyes out if they could. Equally there are very attractive men who like a good read at bedtime. These are weird generalisations.

What woman wants to be noticed by men?

Are you serious?
As for stunningly beautiful women claiming to be insecure about their looks, it's just bullshit, isn't it? An attempt to be relatable and modest at best.

OP, don't think you understand people, or women, or sexuality very well.

As for men trying to attract women, think of it this way; If I were to convince a bunch of men that wearing green would attract women, they would all start wearing green. If I were to convince a bunch of women that wearing green would attract men, they would throw out all of their green clothes

You seem to be under the impression that women generally are disgusted or appalled at the idea of men being attracted to them, and they just avoid this at all costs. This is simply not true. Women don't want to feel threatened, or sexually harassed, but that doesn't mean they find the idea of being sexually attractive to be offensive, something that must be addressed immediately.

[quote SauceGirl]@MECC
It's funny because it's so misguided.
'For instance, men find large breasts attractive, but any woman with large breasts will tell you they hate it because of the back issues they cause and the difficulty of finding a decent bra. Men with abs on the other hand are more than happy to show them off.'
So no woman wears a low cut top? Boob jobs?
'I cannot think of any woman who would go to the gym to be more attractive to men'
Go to the squat rack. Wasn't popular with women before the Kardashian ass trend.
Something odd about the OP. And I don't think Yahoo and The Sun count as studies 😂😂😂[/quote]
@saucegirl There is a valid discussion to be had here about what people choose to do because they genuinely like it, and what they do in order to fit on or because the opposite sex finds it attractive. However, OP comes across like someone who's main understanding of people comes from the news and the odd study, not much direct interaction with a wide variety of people.