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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband behaves like a child!!!!

64 replies

Pbaby0401 · 26/03/2022 17:00

Ok, so I think I just need to rant as my husband has drove me mad today!

Essentially we’ve just got back from a holiday and dd2 has picked up a stomach bug. She’s only 11 months and has therefore been really whiny and clingy with it all day. I start back at work on Monday from my maternity leave and was booked in to get my hair done today (first time in 9 months! And my last appointment 3 weeks ago was cancelled due to dd1 being ill!)

Anyway, Dh has had the 2 girls for 4 hours and I get home and I am just asking questions about how much sleep she’s had, how much fluid, any milk etc etc. and he’s just gone mad about how hard it’s been, how I’ve chosen my hair over our family, how he’s not feeling well either and he’s had enough. To which I’ve said, it’s hard work isn’t it? And he’s gone nuts!!! Slamming doors, shouting at me to shut up etc etc. it’s like having a teenager in the house when all I need is for him to act like a father while his child is poorly. He always manages to turn it round to a ‘what about me???’ attitude and I just feel like he needs to grow up!!!!

Am I expecting too much?? We’ve just found out that we’re expecting dc3 and I’m petrified that another child might tip him over the edge!!

OP posts:
BumBurnerBum · 26/03/2022 17:06

You're not expecting too much.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/03/2022 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Sunnyjac · 26/03/2022 17:09

They’re his too, it’s totally reasonable to expect him to manage.

HellToTheNope · 26/03/2022 17:10

Why are you pregnant again with this idiot's baby?

The mind boggles.

ClemDanFango · 26/03/2022 17:10

Well you popping out babies is wreaking his poor life isn’t it? How can he hope to live and Behave like a man-child with no responsibilities when you keep getting yourself pregnant?! I mean come on OP be reasonable!

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/03/2022 17:12

Has he spent any time alone out of the house leaving the children with you except for work?

Because if he has, he's choosing X over family EVERY TIME. Isn't he? Or does he believe the children are your responsibility all the time but only his sometimes?

PurplePansy05 · 26/03/2022 17:12

Well, he's a twat.

Good on you for going to your appointment. All the best for your pregnancy Flowers

AttilaTheMeerkat · 26/03/2022 17:17

And you are with this person at all because…

Massivecoffeecake · 26/03/2022 17:17

You sound like you are married to my abusive narcissistic ex H! He turned the volume up on this kind of behaviour after my second child was born.
I'd be really carefully considering your next move with dc3 and him.

ExplodingCarrots · 26/03/2022 17:18

So basically he's punishing you for daring to leave the kids with him on his own ? Does he regularly have them on his own ?
He thinks your role is to be at home to look after the kids . I bet when he goes out to have his hair done there's zero issues .

He's an arsehole but you already know this so 🤷‍♀️

RoundGlass · 26/03/2022 17:19

You are not expecting enough.

IncompleteSenten · 26/03/2022 17:22

Is he normally a completely incompetent father and sulky arsehole?

Lesperance · 26/03/2022 17:25

Oh dear. Well I think you are stuck with him, so I don't know what you do about that, but yes, he is behaving like a child. And I agree that you are not expecting enough.

whitecreambluejug · 26/03/2022 17:26

You sound more like you are minimizing his behavior. Sorry Op, he’s a total shit. That’s not normal or acceptable behavior from him.

roarfeckingroarr · 26/03/2022 17:28

He's totally useless

Therealjudgejudy · 26/03/2022 17:30

Child number 3 with a sulky manchild who can't even look after the two you already have for 4 hours alone without having a tantrum....

Why??

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 26/03/2022 17:31

He sounds pathetic

NowEvenBetter · 26/03/2022 17:32

I don’t understand how you can think you might be expecting too much. Do you have low standards and expectations of men? His aggression is not acceptable, he needs to book a vasectomy since he’s not coping with his lifestyle choices.

RoseslnTheHospital · 26/03/2022 17:32

He should be embarrassed with himself for reacting that way. 4 hours with his own children is nothing at all, he shouldn't object to caring for his own offspring.

Slamming doors and ranting/raving are intimidating and aimed to stop you from doing anything other than what he wants. It's not a nice way to treat a partner.

Oldtiredfedup · 26/03/2022 17:36

No, you are not expecting too much.

It seems he’s had an easy ride and herds plenty of regular hands-on time to build up his resilience to the trench-war trials of parenting . And I’d be telling him that.

50DaysAF · 26/03/2022 17:37

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

Why are wome in these situations always pregnant again?

Make better choices.

👆
Kdubs1981 · 26/03/2022 17:39

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

Why are wome in these situations always pregnant again?

Make better choices.

Oh do fuck off.

Blaming OP for her husbands behaviour, which has occurred after she became pregnant is deeply unpleasant.

NowEvenBetter · 26/03/2022 17:41

Impregnated the first time? The second? Or just recently, for the third time?

50DaysAF · 26/03/2022 17:44

I couldn’t tolerate a man who behaved like this, let alone fancy and shag him.

TypicallyTopically · 26/03/2022 17:45

Tell him to fuck himself