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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

First date tonight & been blocked

77 replies

Newpjamas · 25/03/2022 07:14

Wth…
Was all set to meet up for a first date with someone i been talking to from online dating
He been txting all week morning & goodnight txts, said he has booked for our date arranged times etc.. whats apped last night
I replied this morning and hes removed his profile pic and theres one grey tick
I had arranged childcare & everything
I give up!!!!!

OP posts:
DamnUserName21 · 25/03/2022 10:55

Lucky escape.
Any friends you can meet up with?

Original poster
Newpjamas · 25/03/2022 11:17

No friends really who are free to go out
My sisters were babysitting but we are going to have a girly night in mine kids included
What a waste of expensive tan grrr🤣

OP posts:
Nnique · 25/03/2022 11:18

Nah. Don’t ever get a tan for a man. You do that for yourself, if you like it.

Nnique · 25/03/2022 11:18

Enjoy your night in!

FairyLightAddict · 25/03/2022 11:23

Block him now so he doesn't come crawling back.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/03/2022 11:26

@Nnique

Nah. Don’t ever get a tan for a man. You do that for yourself, if you like it.
This. Some men are arseholes op. It might be that he's married/similar, and it might be that he got scared. We don't know.

I did the same for my first date. Nails done. Hair done. He didn't show up, texted twenty minutes before that he was in a meeting.

I've learnt now. First date isn't a date - its a relaxed quick coffee/walk to check if you want to have a first date.

Clarice99 · 25/03/2022 11:29

Enjoy your 'night in' 😁

As others have said already, you've had a lucky escape! It's his loss, not yours.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 25/03/2022 11:30

Married.

bubblesbubbles11 · 25/03/2022 11:37

this is why i cannot see the point to on line dating.
you had a lucky escape OP.

phizog · 25/03/2022 11:44

The red flag you ignored was the messaging morning and good night texts!! A mentally sound, decent bloke is not going to do this for a woman he's never met. He will have a level of caution and want to wait to meet you, get to know you, date more regularly to start doing this. Why would anyone do it to a stranger - always ask yourself that. Only needy, weirdos who are trying to either get laid, or want to pretend they're in a relationship, or are just bored will message you as if you're already dating them.

Pinkbonbon · 25/03/2022 11:52

Why the fuck would you even consider seeing some weirdo that sends you good morning and good night texts before you've even met them! Sounds like a love bombing that tbh, you've had a lucky escape. He was probably trying to reel you in for a shag but his partner caught him out. Don't get surprised if he pops up again with a shit excuse in a few weeks time.

Nnique · 25/03/2022 11:53

True, pp are totally right on that.

Hiddenvoice · 25/03/2022 11:54

That’s so annoying! He’s deleted your number and blocked you. Chances are he’s blocked you so if you try text him then he won’t receive it.
I wouldn’t waste time thinking about why, just delete the conversation and have a great night in instead! Guy sounds like an idiot for not explaining and sounds like you’re better off without!

FatFucker · 25/03/2022 11:55

This is one of the reason I don't waste time chatting online. Match, message and meet all within a week.

So many are just on there for thrills, sext talk or ego boost.

You will soon see who is "genuine" or not.

Such bloody hard work!

It's not you OP it's them!

Gonnagetgoing · 25/03/2022 12:06

I've worked out through internet dating (and so have most of my friends) that the vast majority of it is a waste of time!

Lots of men are as @FatFucker says there for thrills, ego boost or sex talks!

Funnily enough my lovely friend who was sadly widowed a couple of years ago met a man on POF who wasn't an idiot and is a lovely man and though they moved things quite fast are now married and very happy, but she did say to me she told him, my ex-DH had cancer, was very ill and now I'm a widow so I don't want to be messed around, and he didn't. So not all men on OLD are idiots.

Original poster
Newpjamas · 25/03/2022 13:29

Thanks guys
I didn’t realise the morning & nightly txts were red flags im new to dating so i will remember that in future 👍🏻

OP posts:
Daydreamscometrue · 25/03/2022 13:29

@Newpjamas

Thanks everyone It was on whats ap where i sent him a message this morning to see he had removed his wats ap pic An one grey tick Ive just looked on the dating website and he’s blocked me on there… Grrrr
I had exactly the same happen to me only he actually arranged the meet up and just didn't turn up. I sent a message to tell him I was there and one grey tick. Looked on the app and he'd blocked me. He had literally sent me a message the same afternoon to confirm and his profile was still there on the app just an hour before. It's so cruel.
arethereanyleftatall · 25/03/2022 14:13

@Daydreamscometrue
The one positive I take from all this shit, is that I would never ever treat anybody like this. Or anywhere near it. And that makes me a far nicer person than them. And that makes me feel happy.

Original poster
Newpjamas · 25/03/2022 14:31

Ah sorry @Daydreamscometrue
I was pissed of this morning
Was really looking forward to crazy golf and a few drinks 🤣im over it now tho smh

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 25/03/2022 14:40

Any chance you have a friend available tonight so you can still go out a d not waste the babysitter. Shitty behavior but an early escape!

girlmom21 · 25/03/2022 14:43

I agree his girlfriend or wife found out about you or he's had to hide his secret phone.

I don't think good morning and goodnight texts are weird before you've met if you're both happy with them.

CherryDocsInYrBalls · 25/03/2022 15:47

His auntie died. That's a classic bullshit excuse, watch out for that one

arethereanyleftatall · 25/03/2022 16:10

Haha @CherryDocsInYrBalls
I've had that FIVE times!! Although sometimes it's a variation on which elderly relative. The irritating thing with that one, is you can't say anything, because what happens if this is the one that's telling the truth!

Gonnagetgoing · 25/03/2022 16:47

@CherryDocsInYrBalls

His auntie died. That's a classic bullshit excuse, watch out for that one
@CherryDocsInYrBalls - never had that one!

I was out with ex colleagues/friends and we were talking about boyfriends.

Both of them (24 and 35) didn't meet theirs online - 24 year old at school/college and the 35 year old through friends. I think this is unusual though these days to not meet online.

FatFucker · 25/03/2022 16:52

@Newpjamas

Ah sorry *@Daydreamscometrue* I was pissed of this morning Was really looking forward to crazy golf and a few drinks 🤣im over it now tho smh
Top Tip - for the first date/meeting I would advise just going for a coffee. Say you can only be there for an hour or so as you have another appointment. If you get on you can obviously stay later.

The reason behind this is

  1. so you can see they are who they say they are. Not a picture from 20 years ago.

  2. see if there is any chemistry, nothing worse than being stuck with someone, you do not like. And have to spend hours with them, eating or meal or playing crazy golf.

  3. safety reasons, hopefully you can pick up any red flags! If they drone on about their psycho ex's you can glug your coffee and leave!

If he fancies you and you fancy him, you can arrange a "proper" first date.

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