Snide remarks

[User020367]

So after a hard week at work and work this morning I was relaxing tonight with a glass of Prosecco. Husband is sat beside me and grabs the skin under my chin and basically tells me I need to lose weight!!!!! Not that I need to justify myself but I’m 5ft 6 and weigh 10 stone and don’t feel fat at all and even if I did it’s nobody’s business but mine!!!! Now he has at least a double chin and a spare tyre round his middle ! but I never say anything as it’s plain cruel and I just think it’s no ones business how much someone weighs!!!!!! Just last week he told me I need to be exercising at least 3 x a week !!! I’m an avid runner but at the mo I can’t fit it in with work and the kids as he’s never around to help!!! And these days I exercise when I want rather than it being imposed on me !!! Baring in mind 3 years ago I weighed 7.5 stone and was running non stop!! I’m doing my best to find balance

Has he always been this shallow

I hate to admit it but yes in recent times I’m struggling at the moment

If you want to start running again (and I mean if it’s what YOU want to do, not because you feel pressured by him) then tell him he needs to step up and make sure you get some free time.
And give him some tasks to do while you’re out running.

It’s like everything is up for criticism
I came home from work at lunch time he was on the phone and cooking lunch I had a cup of tea and then we all sat down for lunch. He then says to me I should have thanked him for tidying up when I came home!!!! I pointed out he was on the phone so i wasn’t going to interrupt him but also where are my thanks for starting a business, fitting it in around childcare so he has minimal time off if they get sick, cooking cleaning, washing, after school activities various appointments etc !!! An to top it all off I’ve got snide comments like this

Cheeky git. Not on at all. Ask when he's getting rid of his beer belly.

Does he have any redeeming features at all?

Well, I know it’s a cliche but …

… there’s an easy way for you to drop a lot of weight - drop the lard arse sitting next to you.

He sounds absolutely awful, nasty, unsupportive, arrogant. Has he always been like this?

It would grind me down if I’m honest.

I think, "Fuck off!" is the appropriate response to him

Ooooft, I'd be telling him some home truths!

7.5 stone at 5ft 6, you must have been so slim, is he expecting you to have maintained this size or something? 10 stone at that height is also very slim (I'd be a vvvvvv healthy size 8-10 at that weight so not sure what's he's on about with your weight!)

Is he the sort that you can sit down and explain how hurtful his comments are? Also, if he wants you exercising 3 days a week but is never around to help with the kids how does he propose you do that?

He sounds vile. I hope these comments don’t rub off on the kids.
Anything good about him?

And you are with this man at all now because…

He is a deadweight and a deadbeat dad. There is indeed an easy way to drop the weight - ditch this man.

He sounds a bit controlling to me.

That would put me right off a man.

If he were right, and I did need to lose weight, and I'd asked him to police my crisp and prosecco intake, then things might be different, but you're not anywhere near overweight so he's putting a lot of pressure on you for somebody who isn't a full time male model..... (I presume?)

In fact, when you talk to him about his comments, don't say ''it hurts me when you insinuate that I'm fat'', say, ''it makes me lose all respect for you, that you would try to run me down, that you'd be so lacking in self-awareness that you'd tell me to exercise when you're not physically perfect. This lack of self-awareness delivered which such unpleasantness is a turn off''.

Next time he want sex say “no I’m too fat according to you”

@greasyshoes

Husband is sat beside me and grabs the skin under my chin and basically tells me I need to lose weight!!!!!

That's it?

Jeez, if you want to know what abuse is, you should have seen the people I used to work with.

She doesn’t work with him… this is supposed to be her husband, life partner, friend.

@greasyshoes

Husband is sat beside me and grabs the skin under my chin and basically tells me I need to lose weight!!!!!

That's it?

Jeez, if you want to know what abuse is, you should have seen the people I used to work with.

You don't think that's abusive behaviour?

Just because other people are far more abusive, it doesn't mean OP should think this behaviour is anywhere near acceptable.

It is absolutely abusive.

He's a knob. Has he looked in the mirror recently?

You say 'I can always lose weight but you will still be an a*hole. Probably best you sleep downstairs until you make other living arrangements.'
These snidy, goady digs are always based on resentment or jealousy. A one off is a bad day. Is your career out shining his? Is he having to actually parent and clean up after himself when before you did it all? The balance has changed somewhere and he is being petty, personal and childish.
Entirely possible he can get over himself but can you even be bothered to stick it out?

The point where he grabbed the skin under your chin would have been the final death knell for me.

That is an act of pure and deliberate disrespect at the very least. It is not love no matter what way you look at it

Losing skin elasticity is part of getting older/ageing, happens to everyone eventually and not really an indication of being overweight. He sounds like a bit of a dick & not a very bright one at that.