How to end it? Can't do it in person.

[opensun]

Need to end things with the guy I'm seeing. It's only been 3-4 months and he's started buying his son the same clothes my son wears, wants to put his son in the same club as mine, he's listening to the podcasts I listen to etc. I told him once that I was feeling really anxious and needed to be on my own and he turned up on my doorstep with flowers. He's just too much and I need to end things. Problrn is, I'm on day 2 of covid and want to get it over with. I've almost entirely lost my voice and am short of breath, but can't do it in person. I can't text as it just isn't the done thing. How do I do this?

Haha Karens!

COVID is the perfect excuse for contactless pickup of his belongings.

Text is the perfect. This man is essentially still a stranger (a creepy boundary-less one).

Once you’ve sent the text you’ll feel immediately better. Get well soon

@campervangirl some of the responses on here are worrying. People telling me I should be nice to him in case he's a stalker as some kind of reward for his creepy behaviour. It's down to me to ensure I'm all lovely and kind in case he decides to murder me. Using terms like Karen which is a term used to silence and control women. Telling me I should respect him just... because? I'm not exactly going to text him 'you're dumped now fuck off' I'm not a complete arsehole.

Got it all in a short time on this one hasn't it?

Just text him. Tell him it's not going to work out and you'll return his stuff when you're well again. With a bit of luck he'll ask you to leave it on the doorstep.

I think a polite text is fine at this early stage. It sounds like he will probably try and make you feel guilty from what you've said about his style so just be prepared for it and don't buy into it.

And yes, women using the term Karen, thus buying into your own oppression and misogyny. Just don't.

I ended my marriage by text. No regrets. Send 1 message then block and delete. Bag up his stuff. Tell him a time to collect from your step.

just text him!

Fgs just text him.

[quote opensun]@campervangirl some of the responses on here are worrying. People telling me I should be nice to him in case he's a stalker as some kind of reward for his creepy behaviour. It's down to me to ensure I'm all lovely and kind in case he decides to murder me. Using terms like Karen which is a term used to silence and control women. Telling me I should respect him just... because? I'm not exactly going to text him 'you're dumped now fuck off' I'm not a complete arsehole.[/quote]
Oh come on. You've been going out with this guy for months and only now at the moment that you literally cant see him or speak to him you must end it? Not last week or next week?

Ending the relationship by text is fine if that's how you want to do it. Why the need for the self- justification drama? You dont have to vilify him to dump him, you can just dump him.

Just send him a text.

And be nice! You don’t have to be nice “in case he’s a stalker”, but you should be nice/tactful whatever, because there’s no need to be cruel to someone who clearly has feelings for you.

Yes I was going to do it this weekend actually.

[quote opensun]@campervangirl some of the responses on here are worrying. People telling me I should be nice to him in case he's a stalker as some kind of reward for his creepy behaviour. It's down to me to ensure I'm all lovely and kind in case he decides to murder me. Using terms like Karen which is a term used to silence and control women. Telling me I should respect him just... because? I'm not exactly going to text him 'you're dumped now fuck off' I'm not a complete arsehole.[/quote]

Im totally on your side, you have no reason to be nice, consider his feelings or pander to his male ego.
I'll bet if the tables were turned he wouldn't be worried about your feelings or your reaction.
I quoted @crestar as I just cringe when a woman calls another woman a Karen.
You are not a Karen and you do not have to tailor your actions or reactions to pacify a man.
Send that text, give him his stuff back and move on ❤️

I know it's hard, how about a phone call for a compromise. You can hang up if he gets too beggy but I think it's a bit more courteous than a text. However i wouldn't judge if you did it like that, sometimes the plaster just need ripping off

Just send a respectful and honest text and get it over with

It's only been 3 months, or course you can do it by text!

I'd personally prefer a text than a phone call or face to face.

I think a clear but kindly worded text after 3/4 months is perfectly acceptable - that's no time at all really. You having COVID sounds like a great reason for him to pick his things up from the doorstep.

Ffs. This man is stepping over every boundary the OP lays down. He doesn’t respect her, but so many saying he is just being nice, call him. NO! Minimising this sort of behaviour is wrong and no one should feel bad about ending a relationship with such an individual.

OP if I was you I would text a short but unambiguous message that clearly states the relationship is over. As for his ‘stuff’, can someone drop it to him? I wouldn’t want him having an excuse to turn up unannounced (as he has done before).

Oh seriously with the Karen stuff!?!? Really!? Are we actually 12?!?

Perfectly fine to send an appropriate text at this point.

Don't be so cruel. Ending things by text will really hurt him. He really likes you. He's taken it too far, granted, so just let him down gently but firmly.

Ending it by text and putting his stuff outside is fucking nasty. Be decent.

What would worry me in the OP's position is that he will counteract with "you shouldn't be making decisions like this when you are ill, we'll discuss this when you are better" ie blaming what he could see as the OP's "mood" on Covid!

From a guy
A friendly but clear txt that it’s not working for you would be fine

@Sonaftersonafterson

Don't be so cruel. Ending things by text will really hurt him. He really likes you. He's taken it too far, granted, so just let him down gently but firmly. Ending it by text and putting his stuff outside is fucking nasty. Be decent.

Would it be better to arrange a face to face where he's expecting a lovely date then she dumps him destroying his hopes and happiness!? A text is much more respectful than that

Do it. You don't owe him a meeting when you have covid and you've only been together 3 months.

In a world of ghosting, sending somebody an honest text to let them know you don't want to continue dating is not something you should feel guilty about so please don't.

Call him then.

Though I don’t see the issue with text

How does he even know what clothes your son is wearing after 3/4 months or what clubs they attend? This is why people wait before introducing someone to their child!