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Original poster

Would you loan money to your partner

71 replies

concreteisugly · 16/03/2022 10:23

Of 18 months ? I can afford to and I don't need the money at the moment. He has had an unexpected but vital and necessary reason to need £3k.
He will repay over a long period, A year or two , and it is me who is thinking of offering as he has some savings but will need these for emergency funds.
Using his savings will mean that he would not have much to fall back on if there was any major acute financial outgoing.

I don't earn on my savings and it is a way of putting away secret savings and not declaring them in divorce .

I trust him to repay, without question.

OP posts:
PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 16/03/2022 10:26

But if he has some savings why doesn't he use those? He can then build those back up rather than repaying you. If he were to need them for emergencies you could reassess whether to lend then

DepthOfTheAbyss · 16/03/2022 10:29

@PosiePerkinPootleFlump

But if he has some savings why doesn't he use those? He can then build those back up rather than repaying you. If he were to need them for emergencies you could reassess whether to lend then
Exactly this. Isn’t that what savings are for? To deal with unexpected and vital costs? Instead of you lending him the money and he pays you back over 2 years, he can borrow from himself and pay himself back over 2 years.
Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 16/03/2022 10:29

No, this is a major acute financial outgoing, this is what his savings are for. And yours are for when it happens to you. Unless you are married you are not a financial unit and you have absolutely no idea what the futures holds for either you or your relationship. The one thing we do know is that life is going to get much harder and more expensive.

Original poster
concreteisugly · 16/03/2022 10:30

He can either use his savings and have very little back up or take an interest free loan from me to top up what he needs but will have a contingency fund and it also hides some
Money of mine that I do t want to declare in acrimonious dovorce .

OP posts:
DoubleGauze · 16/03/2022 10:31

No. You might need your savings soon yourself.

He can use his own.

Hoppinggreen · 16/03/2022 10:32

No I wouldn’t
It changes the whole dynamic of the relationship

DoubleGauze · 16/03/2022 10:32

So this isn't about hoping someone. It's about hiding your money.

Still no.

DoubleGauze · 16/03/2022 10:33

Helping.

Original poster
concreteisugly · 16/03/2022 10:34

Ok thanks. This is about helping him and hiding money for me. I can afford to do this and if all came to all I can afford to lose it.

OP posts:
Orgasmagorical · 16/03/2022 10:35

Even if it's all geniune, I wouldn't.

DetailMouse · 16/03/2022 10:35

If he's got the money I'd let him spend it. You can help, if you want to, should the major acute financial thing happen in the future.

Having your partner paying you back a debt over a long period of time will only harm your relationship. If you need the money back, even more so.

If you want rid of the money, give it to him. If you lend it, the debt is still part of your assets and need to be declared.

SeasonFinale · 16/03/2022 10:35

It is duplicitous to hide money during divorce. If asked will you say within court proceedings it was a gift or a loan. If you say it is a gift your new partner knowing how unscrupulous you are prepared to be may rely on that to not repay you.

Orgasmagorical · 16/03/2022 10:36

@concreteisugly

Ok thanks. This is about helping him and hiding money for me. I can afford to do this and if all came to all I can afford to lose it.
How would you feel emotionally though, if it all turns out to be a scam?
SickAndTiredAgain · 16/03/2022 10:36

he has some savings but will need these for emergency funds.

Isn’t this exactly the kind of emergency situation he needs these funds for though?

Hoppinggreen · 16/03/2022 10:37

@concreteisugly

Ok thanks. This is about helping him and hiding money for me. I can afford to do this and if all came to all I can afford to lose it.
You may well lose the money and the man at the same time Also, if you have to provide bank statements as part of the divorce settlement (not sure if this is a thing) then it will be obvious you are trying to hide it
TabithaTittlemouse · 16/03/2022 10:39

Not after 18 months no

skgnome · 16/03/2022 10:40

Even with family, lending money changes the dynamics
And quoting my grandmother “only loan what you’re willing to loose”
It’s tricky… my gut says no, you may never see him or the money back
But if you’re desperate to hide the money and willing to lose the money- go for it

drawingpad · 16/03/2022 10:41

Absolutely not. He can use his savings, so why doesn't he? I would be questing a boyfriend who was willing to take money from me when he had his own. The divorce 'hiding' money thing? Keep these issues separate. You may end up not having to split it with your ex but lose it all to another person who will also be an 'ex'. Keep crystal clear boundaries between your finances.

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/03/2022 10:41

No, don’t be daft.

You’re asking here because you know it’s stupid.

He has savings, this is what they’re for.

Original poster
concreteisugly · 16/03/2022 10:42

Thanks pps.
Why do you think that loaning a partner money would damage a relationship? Genuine question.

OP posts:
FlickyCrumble · 16/03/2022 10:43

No. Your back up fund is for you not him. Don’t do it. At 18 months your savings should not be a concern to to him.

Petsop · 16/03/2022 10:44

Nope. He’s a grown man. Don’t baby him, he can look after himself.

Original poster
concreteisugly · 16/03/2022 10:45

@AnneLovesGilbert I don't think it's stupid as it happens. I'm thinking of offering a loan to my partner who may well refuse, where it is in my best interests also.
I can afford to lose it but not to a money hungry, grabby, cock lodging , free loading exh.

OP posts:
drawingpad · 16/03/2022 10:46

@concreteisugly

Thanks pps. Why do you think that loaning a partner money would damage a relationship? Genuine question.

I don't think your are going to get the validation you want here. You are desperate to justify this. The actual loan may not cause a breakdown of the relationship, but the breakdown may happen all the same. Some guys play the long game too - it would be prudent to consider the money may be what he wants.

DoubleGauze · 16/03/2022 10:47

Because your partner could be a free loader too. 18 months can be too soon to tell.