Been with my boyfriend for just under a year. Overall it’s been really lovely, we’re very compatible and get on so well. He’s so supportive and I like to think I am too. We have a great time together.
The last few months have been stressful to me and admittedly sometimes I have been seeking reassurance etc. He said it’s okay as he knows it’s only temporary and I’ve clearly taken the steps to relieve my stress, and he was always so lovely and understanding. He said it wasn’t an issue for him and he would always be there.
On Friday night we both got very drunk and I ended up getting really upset, hysterical and I don’t remember much at all but I think I was saying how much I hate myself for hurting him all the time and attempted to hit myself on the head. From what I remember, he left my house.
When we spoke on Saturday morning (my birthday!) he was initially saying he can’t do it anymore. He said in general he is happy and that it is just that scenario that he can’t get past. I was drunk and it honestly felt like an out of body experience. I explained that I would stop drinking, continue with the therapy that I’m having and it’s a huge wake up call.
His mum was in the house which was embarrassing but she came and suggested we have a few days/week to cool off. Boyfriend nodded. Boyfriend was pretty much unresponsive and he barely spoke at all. I asked him if he was splitting up with me right at the end and he said “I don’t know”. He gave me a hug after refusing to before. He just seemed so cold and emotionless.
Since Saturday morning, I’ve not heard a peep. We never spoke about it properly, we never specified the exact time frame that we would speak again. I’m finding the unpredictably so hard. Obviously I am refraining from texting him first but I am really struggling waiting for him to reach out and not knowing when it’ll be. I am hurt that I haven’t heard from him in over 3 days as I did think he would care more just to check I was okay or something.
The waiting is killing me, but I know reaching out can’t be an option. What do I do?