Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how to cheat without using a phone

72 replies

Rubypages · 14/03/2022 21:40

A couple of years ago I posted on here about concerns I'd had about DH possibly cheating. I had no evidence, just a feeling.

I had been through his phone and google account with a fine-toothed comb and found nothing other than a couple of selfies which I thought may have been taken by mistake (one of which had been taken in our bathroom). But I knew he had occasionally complained of having taken a selfie when he had been turning off his phone, so it was hardly suspicious, and the selfies were unflattering. As for having his phone in the bathroom, he would sometimes play music via it while having a bath so again not suspicious.

On Google locations there was a hotel location he had visited in a nearby town, but I thought this could have been explained by him meeting a work colleage who had stayed over for work. The hotel was a dive, not the sort of place DH would ever pay to stay in.

So, other than that, there was no 'evidence' as such of any cheating. E.g. No mysterious payments out of the bank account, no working late or going to the pub with his mates.

A couple of times on here I was berated by people telling me off for snooping especially as I had found nothing.

Fast forward and he had caught genital warts. So my gut had been right all along. He had cheated. Yet searching his phone had found nothing.

How did he do it? How did he keep all evidence off his phone?

OP posts:
drawingpad · 14/03/2022 21:42

A second phone.

gurly · 14/03/2022 21:43

A second phone maybe?

Has he admitted to cheating now?

Solasum · 14/03/2022 21:45

Work colleague and arrangements made by email?

Prostitutes and calls from public phone boxes?

Emmelina · 14/03/2022 21:46

A second phone is a very easy way!

MrsTimRiggins · 14/03/2022 21:46

Has he confirmed that he’d cheated? Genital warts, or rather the virus that causes warts, can lie dormant for years, if I’m remembering correctly, so that’s not necessarily proof.
Otherwise a second phone or a secret email account, accessed via incognito mode.

Rubypages · 14/03/2022 21:46

I considered a second phone. He had the hardware for a second phone - his previous handsets he kept. But he would have needed to have bought a new SIM with no contract and all topping-up with cash so no paper trail. Is that even possible?

OP posts:
Ringmaster27 · 14/03/2022 21:47

Burner phone.

redredredredlorry · 14/03/2022 21:49

He wouldn't have had to top up with cash, you can top up at the supermarket so it would just show on his statement as a transaction at Asda or Tesco

Rubypages · 14/03/2022 21:50

He has admitted to cheating now, after denying it for so long. He said it was with a prostitute whose number he got off a website, but the behaviour for that doesn't really fit his behaviour, IMO.

OP posts:
ChickenStripper · 14/03/2022 21:50

He deletes as he goes or he uses a secret app or something like Snapchat or WhatsApp. He would not text or call a number.

catelina · 14/03/2022 21:50

With someone at work he sees every day? Then no need to contact out of hours. A separate email address maybe.

FloatingAlien · 14/03/2022 21:52

He could top up a payg phone with cash/ use his actual phone as a hotspot and just use WiFi only on that phone/ pay for top ups with PayPal/ have an additional sim on his normal phone contract. There are plenty of ways tbh! I hope you've binned him off now regardless?

Solasum · 14/03/2022 21:52

I am not sure what more you need at this point OP? He has admitted to paying for sex; can there really be any way back from that? And clearly using a prostitute without any contraception as well.

MrsPerfect12 · 14/03/2022 21:55

Some phones have dual sims, I don't know how they work but I'm guessing you would need to switch between them?

Rubypages · 14/03/2022 21:56

@ChickenStripper

He deletes as he goes or he uses a secret app or something like Snapchat or WhatsApp. He would not text or call a number.
He did use WA at the time and there had been some protective behaviour from him over his phone during the first lockdown. Also, some odd messages from a woman he used to know through work. These messages stopped after I questioned him about them. But he hadn't had the sense to delete them so I assume that does point to a burner phone kept at work. But all supermarket transactions accounted for.
OP posts:
BornIn78 · 14/03/2022 21:56

Using a site like Mumsnet to private message each other.

Mycatisfabulous · 14/03/2022 21:58

Oh mate. Stop snooping. Either you love him or you don’t.

Rubypages · 14/03/2022 21:59

@FloatingAlien

He could top up a payg phone with cash/ use his actual phone as a hotspot and just use WiFi only on that phone/ pay for top ups with PayPal/ have an additional sim on his normal phone contract. There are plenty of ways tbh! I hope you've binned him off now regardless?
Wow. That could be it. I never had full access to his PayPay (everything else he had been completely open with). He's not techo savvy so how on earth he would have known about this is beyond me. He must have had help from someone. Sometimes when I called him it sounded like I was being diverted - the ring tone would change ever so slightly before he answered. Is that a thing?
OP posts:
gurly · 14/03/2022 21:59

It's one of those things you probably won't ever get the answer too and won't make any difference if you did. He still cheated.

Nikolaus · 14/03/2022 22:00

Really easy to delete evidence from a phone if you don't want people finding stuff.

Prettynails · 14/03/2022 22:02

Cash back on supermarket shop that goes towards a phone? Work phone?

zeddybrek · 14/03/2022 22:04

KIK. Like WhatsApp but you join without a phone number. You can be anonymous. He could download it quickly, is it then delete after each use. Absolutely no trace on the phone. Used a lot by people having affairs apparently.

Rubypages · 14/03/2022 22:08

@Mycatisfabulous

Oh mate. Stop snooping. Either you love him or you don’t.
Hell hath no fury, mate.
OP posts:
AhAgain · 14/03/2022 22:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

bluesberry · 14/03/2022 22:25

Yep it's very easy to buy a sim and top up when you need it, no info or details would ever be posted out to the house.

I've also heard that people can use hidden chat apps, they would look like a calculator or something like that but they're not!

Are you still with him???

Swipe left for the next trending thread