Boyfriends business isn't making money

[cm1010]

Me and my partner had our baby on December 22nd so I am currently on maternity leave, we have also moved into our new home. He runs his own business but it is not making money and he cannot afford to pay bills so my mum has been paying out mortgage etc. I have asked him to do something about it and he's just waiting for the business to 'pick up' and start making money soon. I told him we don't have time to wait we could lose our home and that we have a baby to think about and have told him he should get a part time job for the time being so he has some guaranteed income. He doesn't want to as working for someone else makes him 'unhappy'. Am I being unreasonable to ask this from him?

@Loopytiles

Do you have a legal agreement?

No legal agreement

It’s important you seek legal advice on that asap. Especially when as well as the two of you third parties’ money has been involved.

This says it all, he doesn't care about your future and security as much as he cares about his own comfort.

He's happy for you to have a default on your record because it doesn't affect him. He would rather that your future was at risk than he got a temporary job. Is that a man you really want to spend the rest of your life with?

The house is in your name, tell him that he either gets a regular job and contributes to the bills as agreed or he leaves so you can claim universal credit.

He doesn't have to give up his business but while there is insufficient work he needs to get an alternative income.

This is a very bad time to be starting a vanity business. A lot of people in the UK are drowning in debt - people can no longer pay their electricity bills and food bills. You must have seen all the threads on here.

If this was making money At one point OP— where was he getting the business from ? How was he marketing it? As I cAn see it’s quite a niche business—

It's really not that niche. Lots of young men set up doing similar things since covid and the problem is, even if you're into cars you wrap your mates cars then their mates, but then the next people down the line know someone else who'll do it £50 cheaper.

So initially business will boom and then you run out of clients unless you market yourself really well or branch out into alloy repair etc too.

Just as an example there are some good part time jobs online working remotely with Europarts— it’s the kind of thing that would complement what he does— it doesn’t mean he has to go and work for Uber it Trscis (although nothing wrong with that of course) — but he could find roles that could work ‘alongside’ what he does and he may find it easier with a self contained remote job rather than have a ‘boss’ standing over him

I can't believe you're with a man who is perfectly fine with your mother paying for his keep, and I can't believe you've put your mother in this position. It's absolutely shameful.

I'd be telling him he has one month to get a real job or he gets the fuck out. He is not entitled to the luxury of fiddle fucking about, waiting for his failed business to make money.

As the wife of a man who runs his own business I understand how hard it can be. Especially as my DH doesn’t particularly want to go back to being employed by someone else.
But when we started the business we did it with a solid plan of making sure my wages could cover everything whilst the business establishes. We also agreed that should the need arise then my husband will HAVE to return to employment. These are decisions an adult makes when they have children to consider.

So whilst I don’t necessarily think your partner is a dickhead for his feelings regarding employment I’m afraid he is a dickhead for not realising that needs must, and he must do what he needs to do to provide for his family.

I couldn’t be with a man that refused to provide for me and my baby at my most vulnerable time in life?

DenholmElliot
Do you know what - you could kick him out, get tax credits plus a lodger, and be better off

I'd do exactly this

Put yourself and your child first, and get rid of this lazy, silly head in the clouds absolute loser. Not even being a father has stopped his nonsense.

That he's scrounging off your mum too says it all. Honestly OP you caught a bad one - throw it back.

My brother in law started a business wrapping cars. He put a lot of money into it… and it went bust. The market isn’t really there. Maybe your area is different… but people with very expensive cars generally lease them and so aren’t bothered about wrapping. And people with cheaper cars don’t want to spend money on a luxury service. Who exactly is his target customer? I hope he’s more successful than my BiL was.

we discussed many times that when we have a baby that he would cover the bills whilst I was on maternity leave.

You can discuss it all you like, doesn't mean he'll do it. As pp said, money is tight for a lot of people so a launching a luxury business is a big risk.

He doesn’t care about you if he’s happy for you to default on the mortgage. He doesn’t care about security for your baby.

At best he has his head in the clouds at worst he is an ignorant freeloader who doesn’t love you really becuase you wouldn’t do this to someone you loved.

You are going to have to tell him to leave. You can then claim benefits until you return to work after maternity leave. He cannot sit around warning nothing and expect to stay in your house. And it is yours because your on the mortgage and own it. Time to get tough and make him see he cannot live off your mum and that you will not stand for it else how long will this go on for?

Go back to work yourself.
Let him do childcare. Not ideal but it is an option

Car wraps aren't exacting booming.

Does he know proper signwriting and have the equipment?

He'd be better off getting back into someone else's shop and doing his own bit on the side.

Not everyone is cut out to run a business.

Does he have no shame?

This man is happy to let your mother pay the mortgage while he refuses to get a job? Also the fact that he is willing for you to be marked down for none payment shows exactly what he thinks of you.

I would be telling him firmly that your mother will not be paying again and niether will you be defaulting. He either gets a job NOW or he leaves so you can claim UC.

I could not respect this man. He should be embaressed.

He's got no interest in working because your Mother is paying the mortgage and bills. Why couldn't he get a mortgage? Have you seen his credit report?

Sorry you're having a baby with this irresponsible man child, your baby deserves much better.

Some people just expect a free ride in life. Some even choose partners on that basis, for example not worrying about their own financial situation as they've married into money and are waiting for the inheritance to come their way. Sounds like your partner has learned it from his Father from what you said.

You said he was earning lots of money working for someone else. Why couldn't he get a mortgage?

I see this so often.
I work with SMEs and someone sees his boss making loads of money and thinks “I can do that” while having no idea about how to set up and run a Business. They usually fail