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Original poster

He talked about his dating

65 replies

countrylady2 · 24/02/2022 22:56

I bumped into an old friend in the pub earlier. He saw me come out of the toilet and seemed a bit flustered and said to come and sit with him and his friends. I was madly in love with him years ago. There was a connection there but he didn't want to take it further.

Looking back he is an emotionally unavailable guy with women he has tried dating. I'm not saying he wanted to date me but he will still be single in 5 years. We are part of some outdoors groups online and he seems like he clicks like on a lot of the profiles of the women. Earlier the guys were talking about their Bumble experiences and he said he dated 2 women at the same time which he said got messy but he was annoyed he couldn't log into the app when he was not in his area in case the women knew he was still looking. I'm 38 and he is 50 and he said he has been going on dates with 36 year olds so they are younger than me. He was quite cagey more than the guys about his dating.

I know we are not dating but it's really not nice to hear his dating stories. I told the guys about my anonymous Valentines card and showed them what was written but he didn't want to look at the pictures.

OP posts:
Blue4YOU · 24/02/2022 23:13

Op
With the greatest respect what are you talking about?
You met a guy you were “madly in love” with years ago, by chance in a pub.
You got talking, as a group, about dating and he mentioned dating two people at once. And added it was messy.
How does the he will still be single in 5 years mean anything?
What do you mean by showing them an anonymous Valentines card?
Why did you have the card in your.. bag?
Whaaat??

DatingDinosaur · 24/02/2022 23:14

Not quite sure what you’re wanting here but he’s quite clearly letting you know he has no intentions of settling down and is enjoying playing the field.

Do you think he sent you the valentines card? Was you hoping he sent you the valentines card?

I’d take his cagey behaviour at face value and that whatever there was in the past between you is no longer there for him now.

Blue4YOU · 24/02/2022 23:15

Sober up a bit?? And re-think what you were trying to accomplish there with showing him/anyone an anonymous card

Original poster
countrylady2 · 24/02/2022 23:18

@Blue4YOU We didn't meet by chance, that was tonight in the pub. I knew him for years as we were friends.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 24/02/2022 23:21

Why are you trying to be friends with a 50-year-old who can't commit to anyone and who talks about being unfaithful even to his Internet dating partners? He sounds an absolute twat! You deserve so much better than him.

ChickenStripper · 24/02/2022 23:22

You didn't date him before, you are not dating him now - why are you bothered?

RelentlessForwardProgress · 24/02/2022 23:25

Raise your bar.

MRS54321 · 24/02/2022 23:30

OP I’m not quite sure what it is you’re asking or getting at , but AVOID this man
Be his friend , don’t be checking who he’s clicking on - he’s not able to decide himself !

Original poster
countrylady2 · 24/02/2022 23:34

@MRS54321 I don't check the profiles, they show up on the list feed through Facebook. Yes, he can't decided can he.

OP posts:
iklboo · 24/02/2022 23:37

I know we are not dating but it's really not nice to hear his dating stories.

Why not? You're not dating, you're probably never likely to date him. He was with his mates, having a conversation. So what if he'll still be single in five years? He can 'like' whatever he wants to - it's nothing to do with you.

Now you think he's randomly sent you an anonymous valentines card? Is that likely? As PP have said, don't waste your time pining over this loser. You deserve more.

Redshoeblueshoe · 24/02/2022 23:38

OMG I thought I'd had too much 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

Original poster
countrylady2 · 24/02/2022 23:39

@iklboo I don't think he sent the Valentine card at all.

OP posts:
DenholmElliot · 24/02/2022 23:40

Did you take your valentines card to the pub?

MichelleScarn · 24/02/2022 23:40

You bumped into a guy you used to fancy, people in the group you were in shared bad dating stories including you, he wasn't interested in your valentines card you got, you've decided he'll be single in 5 years?

Original poster
countrylady2 · 24/02/2022 23:43

@DenholmElliot

Did you take your valentines card to the pub?
No, it was a picture on my phone.
OP posts:
Blue4YOU · 24/02/2022 23:50

OP I’m not intending to be nasty.
But I get it, you knew him before and bumped into him.
Park the thoughts and think about it tomorrow maybe?
You are 100% worth more than this arsehole

Clymene · 24/02/2022 23:56

You didn't meet by chance and you showed him a photo of the Valentine's card you'd received. Why?

This all seems a bit teenage

iklboo · 25/02/2022 00:02

So why show him or his friends the photo of the card?

SunflowerTed · 25/02/2022 00:50

Think you need a good nights sleep. If you do have an interesting issue we’d be happy to give some advices

Aquamarine1029 · 25/02/2022 00:53

He sounds like a massive tit. Raise your standards.

grapewine · 25/02/2022 00:55

@iklboo

So why show him or his friends the photo of the card?
I wonder about this too.
user1481840227 · 25/02/2022 01:39

Sounds like you have a soft spot for him that hasn't gone away but nothing will ever happen with him.

Just remove yourself from any situation that you feel will trigger some hurt or upset.
Don't sit with him in the pub. Don't listen to any conversations about bumble, just excuse yourself and go back to your friends.

Do you need to be part of the outdoors groups? If not then don't be in them.
If you do then try to ignore what he's doing on it.

Derelicthome · 25/02/2022 05:33

You are wondering if he was trying to make you jealous with his dating stories / gauge your reaction (to see if it upset you) because he still likes you and he’s trying to work out if the feeling is mutual.

KatherineJaneway · 25/02/2022 05:44

I know what you are feeling but the harsh truth is he doesn't want to date you. You're desperately looking for signs of his interest but there are none.

It's painful but you need to move on and realise he isn't the man for you Flowers

Associatepeggy · 25/02/2022 05:58

I am confused. You say you bumped into him and they say you didn't meet by chance. Did you go there knowing he was there? Hoping to see he him?

Not sure why you had photos to hand of an anonymous card that you, then, showed to someone you used know and their friends.

I suspect this will all look very different when you slept.