He talked marriage we got to the point of booking. Turns out he doesn't want marriage. Hurt and confused.

[Emylou1]

Just to give you background. We have been together about 6 years. We have a house together. And last week he discussed the fact he wanted to get married and soon as possible. No engagement. We started to look into places. He discussed april this year he wanted to do it but with work not possible. So we decided on june booked the time off work. Decide to going aboard just the two of us and my sister and husband. We have all talked about it and sorted venue, accommodation, flights etc. Everything sorted. Spoken to the wedding planner. Then we are at the point of booking he tells me he doesn't want any of this. I've got the wrong end of the stick and all happening too quickly. He didn't want it this way. I have got carried away and he was only listening and agreeing but when it comes down to it he doesn't actually want this. But to keep the time off work and maybe we just do a holiday instead. I'm beyond confused and hurt. My sister and husband are totally confused by his change of mind. He made me sound and feel crazy like I imagined the whole thing. Just to also add some extra background he currently has 3 motor bikes and a few weeks ago told me he was getting a Forth and this point I said I was shocked. I was sure we were on the same page in life and wanted to move forward but buying another bike suggested to me he didn't. He has some small amount debt and his bonus was going to be used to pay off the debt but then suddenly buying this extra bike. We have talked abouts kids and he said the bonus would clear the debt and then we could be in a better place for kids. So then to be buying a new bike it changed it. So he he said dont worry i want to get married and i am sorting a ring. Then a few weeks later he annouced he wants to get married and starts to organise things. Then now. He isnt ready and not sure why i got so carried away or where i got the idea from. He made me sound completely crazy. Im hurt and upset by this. Its like we got to the point of booking and he then had to shut it down because it was actually happeniny. Before we when talked to venues etc it was only a dream as such. I'm 33 and he is 35.

Bit stupid using dollars on british website, at least convert it into pounds sterling.

Who pays the mortgage?

Abusive little shit he is. You've had a very lucky escape. Don't marry him, don't inflict him on children as a father. You're young enough to find someone and have children but only if you get rid of this waste of space.

OP

*Because at the time you only see the good. Not until you step back and review everything do you see it.

Have you ever experienced abuse to understand how it works. They will be all over you and it works. You 'forget' what happened for long enough to 'forgive*

Yes I get this completely and this is why people stay together but to marry that person is a step too far.

I hope you have come to a good decision now x

OP you deserve so much better than this, if your sister or friend was being treated like this what would you say to her? I bet it would be to leave him.
Contact a solicitor about forcing sale of the house, he has no right to force you out of a house that you part own.
Contact woman’s aid they can give all types of advice. And lastly if he becomes threatening call the police.
OP you are still young, don’t waste anymore of your life with this man.

You dodged a bullet. At least you can now escape without the expense and time lag of divorce.

The more I read the more awful his treatment of you is but I can understand that can be hard to see when you're in the midst of it.

Please get support to leave from the various sources others have suggested. You really need to move your life on to where you should be - not having your mind, confidence and self esteem undermined by this person.

@Emylou1

Sometimes life isn't what you expected or deserve.

No sometimes it isn't. But I hope you know you deserve a LOT better than that sort of treatment. He is a prick and does not deserve you, not one little bit!!

I'm glad he is backing out of the wedding. I know pp's have said he can't make you move out. But I think that might be the most sensible thing if he is a cruel bully. Move out and start the process of selling. I don't know legally how you can initiate that if he doesn't agree but there must be something you can do.

It's a good thing you aren't married/ tied to him with kids. Hopefully you can get out of his grasp and move on with your life relatively quickly.

Op look at the freedom Programme - you can do it online.
Let your sister help and support you.
It’s a cliche but you deserve so much better

Lots of good advice.

Be sure not to tell him any of what you're doing.
Gather all your papers, see the solicitor about the house, tell your family if they are supportive.

I reckon you've paid for everything in the house too as he acts like a teen with his bikes. You might need to hire a storage for everything so he doesn't end up destroying it.

If he threatens you, don't hesitate to call the police on him.

He loves his bikes more than you

He doesn't want marriage or children with you

End this relationship today
See solicitor to sell or buy each other out of the property
Get your ducks in a row

I think you've been given some really good advice, so just wishing you the best of luck. Please let us know how you get on.

@Bananalanacake

Bit stupid using dollars on british website, at least convert it into pounds sterling.

Hard to find the GBP symbol on a US keyboard!

@Valeriekat ALT 156, that should get you the £ symbol. I have a Spanish keyboard and it works.