As in sex.
We’ve been married for more than a decade. We have two kids. Last night I was minding my own business watching a movie. He comes and decides to watch with me. There’s a scene where the characters get hot and steamy. He pipes up that we “used to be like that before we got married”. I was a bit shocked to be honest because although sex has dwindled the last few years due to lack of empathy, communication, leading to lack of connection which puts me off, it hasn’t always been like that. So I said “we’ve had hot sex since we’ve been married” he says “when”? in a nasty tone. We had a daytime quickie initiated by me about a week ago. He came, I didn’t but I thought we’d had a good time while we were doing it. I said “last week was pretty hot I thought” “not really” he says. Then he says “we just need to do it more” I dropped it at that point because there’s a history of this kind of conversation escalating and I’ve learnt to not argue my point if he’s upset me. It gets me nowhere but I’m really hurt and deflated. I feel like giving up to be honest. The issue with the “we need to do it more” is that I now don’t. He always gets his jollies but never finishes me off. I’m always left high and dry and after this conversation I’m left wondering what’s the point. What I want to be able to do is actually have a conversation with him about it but I can’t because he’s going to shut me down and we will get nowhere. Im wondering what other people would do in my position?