Financial irresponsibility

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Not living together.. Dating 5/6mths. Never has money, never, despite working full time and end of month he is so short has to borrow for the electric. I worked out his outgoings and he has around 700 left after all bill bar food... He implies he spends the 700 on food but he dosnt eat expensivly.
We cook dinner at each others houses and ocassionaly like 1 or 2 times a month go for a drink, as he can't afford more. We have been out for dinner once.
Dosnt run a car and living costs are cheap.
It's a concern for me not because I think I have any rights to know but because it impacts on what we can do, if anything, together. Is this normal? I know cost of living is high and I'm reasonably comfortable compared to a lot of ppl

My first thoughts would be gambling or paying off debts? Xx

He may have financial commitments he hasn’t mentioned, a loan or credit card.
1-2 times a month is plenty of going out.

He’s not a keeper, that’s for sure .

Just ditch now, from experience that is an utterly exhausting relationship.

He said no as I asked. By out I mean a few drinks not out for dinner or cinema or anything.
I guess I need to manage expectations around dating as I'm new to it

I also thought gambling re him.

And how can one or two times a month is plenty of going out?

What are you getting out of this so called relationship with him?. You know this is not right and is in fact all sorts of dysfunctional.

For info I'm a single mom but I earn more than him. I'm very happy to fully pay my own way if we go out anywhere, it dosnt have to be expensive at all.
I did ask ref gambling he flat denied it and says he dosnt do that, not even playing th e lottery.

Honestly break up now. Like now now.

You haven't been dating long.
He does not meet the minimum standard for a partner. Unless you want an unhappy future, You are wasting your time.

He is kind, loving, fun to talk to and supportive. He is an open and genuine really nice/kind man

Leave him.
You're 5/6m in and have already paid his electric. That's not acceptable.

Let's put your expectations to one side (I understand as a single parent we want to get out of the house and do something nice sans child)

You went through his bills, he 'should' have £700 a month spare. He can't account for it. He is bare faced lying that he doesn't know where it goes. You've not spent a long time dating. Cut your losses and end it. Before he drags you down - and he will.

My ex swore blind he didn't know where all his money went each month - the bookies did though. There's always something

It could be debts or is he one of those people who are always buying random stuff and having parcels delivered etc?

Does he have children he pays for?

Yeah he has one son full time and to clarify I didn't pay his eletric. He borrows off friends not me, he wouldn't ask and I would flat refuse.

Your boundaries are poor and he may well have targeted you because you are a single parent. He may well think that you are so desperate for make company that you’d put up with any old crap. Don’t be dragged down here.

@Pleaseaddcaffine

He is kind, loving, fun to talk to and supportive. He is an open and genuine really nice/kind man

Sounds like my ex husband. He nearly ruined us financially, it was years and years of worry and struggle and wondering why when he earned so much why he never had money. RUN FOR THE HILLS.

@Pleaseaddcaffine

He is kind, loving, fun to talk to and supportive. He is an open and genuine really nice/kind man

For me, partners need to meet a minimum standard. He needs to be kind, nice, fun AND a responsible adult who can manage money and is financially stable.

Unless you are literally making 6 figures and can happily and easily support a (lovely funny kind) cocklodger another adult OR want an unhappy future you are wasting your time.

Put another way would you be happy if your daughter was dating this guy? What kind of future can he offer her when he is pissing away 700pm with seemingly no concept as to how its spent???

You don't share the same
Values about finances
Saver VS Spender

I guess the next step if you want to stay together is for him to actually want to work out and share with you where the 700 goes

@Pleaseaddcaffine

Yeah he has one son full time and to clarify I didn't pay his eletric. He borrows off friends not me, he wouldn't ask and I would flat refuse.

If he would ask his friends why do you think he wouldn’t ask you? Maybe wouldn’t ask you yet.

People who work full time don’t ask friends to pay their electricity bill, something is not right here. Why bother embroiling yourself further.

This relationship does not have a future, or if it does it's one where you are flat broke and he is living off you. Please don't do this to yourself. You deserve so much more.

Throw him back. If you're managing his bills at 5 months (which is far too soon) you'll be doing it forever.

Seriously throw him back before this is your life forever

He does not meet the minimum standard for a partner.

This.

He must know where his money is going.

He is either "head in sand" or lying to you. Neither of those are good.

I couldn't be with him,not because of lack of money but because he isn't being truthful.

That's it. If he'd had a couple big bills eg washing machine broke that's fine as that happens to me eg when car needs 300 quid repair