Financial irresponsibility

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Not living together.. Dating 5/6mths. Never has money, never, despite working full time and end of month he is so short has to borrow for the electric. I worked out his outgoings and he has around 700 left after all bill bar food... He implies he spends the 700 on food but he dosnt eat expensivly.
We cook dinner at each others houses and ocassionaly like 1 or 2 times a month go for a drink, as he can't afford more. We have been out for dinner once.
Dosnt run a car and living costs are cheap.
It's a concern for me not because I think I have any rights to know but because it impacts on what we can do, if anything, together. Is this normal? I know cost of living is high and I'm reasonably comfortable compared to a lot of ppl

Money does not just vanish, it gets spent, the fact he’s acting oblivious is not a good sign. If I spend all my disposable income on something, I might have no money, but I definitely know what I have spent it on.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

Your boundaries are poor and he may well have targeted you because you are a single parent. He may well think that you are so desperate for make company that you’d put up with any old crap. Don’t be dragged down here.

This.

A solvent nice single mother with a nice home...cat nip for a waster with a child.

Dump.

He can't afford a relationship.

I do not get the appeal of starting a relationship with someone who isn't adult enough to manage their finances and provide for themselves.

Road to nowhere.

Takeaways , smokes, bus /travel , child maintenance maybe more than he’s said, debt, several coffees a day out the house, weed, collects stuff? all just guesses— on my part. Although it sounds quite a lot , it’s only about £160 a week which is easy to get through on food and other bits and bobs. Itsaround a £40 food shop plus £15 a day- every week . Not exactly huge but some people just manage it better than others. Depends if you care enough to accept that may always be the case. I think it’s hard for anyone on their own to be honest unless they have low rent/mortgage and reasonably good earnings.

Thanks everyone. I get that some people struggle. I'm a bit over vigilent due to ex attitude towards money. Wanted to ensure I wasn't being unduly unreasonable given relationship timeline and expectations.
Thanks for responding and comments have been taken on board.

He borrows off friends not me, he wouldn't ask and I would flat refuse

The last four words are good, but trust me, he'll be asking soon enough with some remark about "I really don't want to do this, but ..."

Nobody decent dates someone just because of what they have or haven't got, but you could be setting yourself up for a lot of problems if you hang around

The problem is he cannot manage money. It doesn't matter how much surplus he has after outgoings, he doesn't know how he cannot make ends meet and does it frequently so isnt interested in correcting that behaviour.

And he has a child. What happens to that child’s needs at the end of the month when he runs out of money?

I wouldnt waste my time.

@Crikeyalmighty

You're right. It's £175 pw this man and his son live on after rent and bills, according to OP. Is he paying for childcare or after school care so he can do his job? does this include maintenance payments to his son's mother for any children he's not got full time like his son? Or just to support her in some way? Is the son of an age where he is asking for games/clothes/new shoes/activities?

I think it's too early for OP to call time on someone who seems kind, funny and loving. But if she thinks it's a timewaster with red flags of course she should pull away.

Someone smoking 20 quid's worth of cigarettes a day.. easy to do for a fairly heavy smoker. Throw in 10 or 20 quid a day down the bookies.... boom... you've already wrecked your finances, however good your salary.

Years ago i dated a bloke who envied my
Mortgage saying he could never have enough to save for a house. I questioned this as he lived with his mum and asked how much he spent on drinking at the weekend. £80-100 each day of the weekend! On alcohol and take out food! More than my mortgage btw.

It is easy to spend £700 a month on living. The issue is he doesnt budget what money he has.

Maybe he visits prostitutes.