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Original poster

Valentine's Day with lazy slob!

69 replies

Mamas123 · 14/02/2022 10:27

So it's Valentine's Day and my other half took today off as he was out Saturday so knew he would need a few days to recover from a hangover. I got my flowers and card on Friday.
Now I know he is awake as he's online on social media and chat etc. but when I've gone in the room he immediately isn't online and pretends to be asleep.
He generally never spends time with me anyway, always on gaming in bed while I'm on my own in the living room. I thought he might at least make an effort today as he wrote in his card he will make dinner for me etc.
I just gave him his valentines gifts from me and told him here's your Valentine's presents when you stop pretending to be asleep. He replied he's ill... I just said well you could at least say happy Valentine's to me seeing as you're capable to go on message and social media and chat to whoever is on there. But fine don't talk to me as usual!
Am I being a unreasonable to want to spend time with him and have him be a bit more romantic as it's Valentine's Day. He never does anything anyway and I'm always the one to initiate things (sexual and non sexual, date nights etc) I'm finding this relationship very boring and I feel lonely. I have said this to him in the past and he then gets better but then back to how it is again.

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 14/02/2022 10:29

He has to take Monday off when he goes out on a Saturday night!!

He sounds a waste of space, move on.

rumred · 14/02/2022 10:32

Sounds like it's time to move on. He can only change if he wants to, not because you want it..

Get rid and get happy

bravefox · 14/02/2022 10:32

Am I being a unreasonable to want to spend time with him?

Yes. Because it sounds like you deserve much better

26dX · 14/02/2022 10:36

Sounds like you deserve better x

pinkyredrose · 14/02/2022 10:37

He's dead weight isn't he. Do yourself a favour and dump him.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 14/02/2022 10:40

It sounds like the sort of relationship that couples in their 50's slip into but you both sound younger. can i ask how old you are

Hen2018 · 14/02/2022 10:41

I think it would be quite fitting to dump him on Valentines Day.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 14/02/2022 10:54

Even after giving him his presents, he still has not come down or said anything to me. Yet he is online on WhatsApp every few minutes... I'm even thinking he could at least message me happy valentines if he really is that ill to get out of bed and say it to me

OP posts:
DamnShesaSexyChick · 14/02/2022 10:58

Well you’re obviously not happy so you need to do something about it, no point moaning about it on here.

pinkyredrose · 14/02/2022 11:01

He couldn't be any clearer that he doesn't give a fuck about you. When will you stop hoping that he will?

Isn't the definition of madness to keep doing the same thing and hoping for a different result?

goldfluffyclouds · 14/02/2022 11:01

Dump him

Haudyourwheesht · 14/02/2022 11:02

Honesty, what are you getting out of the relationship? Do you have children together?

BeneficiaryMadness · 14/02/2022 11:06

He’s too ill to get out of bed on a Monday after drinking on Saturday?? WTF?

girlmom21 · 14/02/2022 11:07

I'd dump him for being an absolute lightweight. Are you sure it's just drink he's feeling the effects of?

TooMuchPaper · 14/02/2022 11:07

Surely being single has to be better than this.

CiderJolly · 14/02/2022 11:08

He sounds repulsive- don’t waste your time.

LlamasintheFog · 14/02/2022 11:11

Re-read your first paragraph enough times for you to realise this man is a loser and not worthy of you.

Blue4YOU · 14/02/2022 11:12

Remind me never to drink what he drinks!!
Why are you wasting your one life with this loser?

BeefSupreme · 14/02/2022 11:12

You’re unreasonable to want to spend time with him. He sounds awful.

bongobingo43 · 14/02/2022 11:15

@BeneficiaryMadness

He’s too ill to get out of bed on a Monday after drinking on Saturday?? WTF?
I'd be more worried about being in a relationship with someone like that and who never makes an effort or initiates time together....rather than being caught up in Valentine's Day.

Sounds like you've got much bigger issues with him and he sounds like a complete waste of space tbh

rainbowandglitter · 14/02/2022 11:16

Yuck that's grim. You are better than that. Set your standards higher. Happy Valentines op!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/02/2022 11:17

This is what I wrote to you yesterday in your other thread:-

You basically have gone from one type of abusive man to yet another type of abuser, a sadly not uncommon scenario. Your boundaries, already skewed by previous abuse, are being further being eroded by this man child now.

Your younger children basically like him because they talk to him about gaming. That is no basis or any sort of reason for your own relationship with him actually continuing.

Please look at the Freedom programme online, it is for those who have been in abusive relationships before.

Ragwort · 14/02/2022 11:21

Seriously, why do you put up with a man who spends his time in bed gaming and clearly doesn't want to be with you ... and needs a day off work to recover from a Saturday night hangover.

What does he add to your life?

Valentine's Day is the least of your problems.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 14/02/2022 11:28

So I've been up in the bedroom so I can get ready to go out and he's sitting there playing a game on his phone. He's opened his presents. He hasn't said anything to me! I just hoped he may have made an effort. I do think he may also be annoyed with me as I was meant to go with him Saturday night (it was a family member's wedding) but I had a sickness and diarrhoea bug all day. I was so gutted to have not gone. I had my nails done etc and was looking forward to it all week. So surely him not talking to me if it's about that is a bit unreasonable too? I understand if he was upset I didn't go but I can't help if I was literally on the toilet all day.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 14/02/2022 11:33

Why are you with this person?