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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Valentine's Day with lazy slob!

69 replies

Mamas123 · 14/02/2022 10:27

So it's Valentine's Day and my other half took today off as he was out Saturday so knew he would need a few days to recover from a hangover. I got my flowers and card on Friday.
Now I know he is awake as he's online on social media and chat etc. but when I've gone in the room he immediately isn't online and pretends to be asleep.
He generally never spends time with me anyway, always on gaming in bed while I'm on my own in the living room. I thought he might at least make an effort today as he wrote in his card he will make dinner for me etc.
I just gave him his valentines gifts from me and told him here's your Valentine's presents when you stop pretending to be asleep. He replied he's ill... I just said well you could at least say happy Valentine's to me seeing as you're capable to go on message and social media and chat to whoever is on there. But fine don't talk to me as usual!
Am I being a unreasonable to want to spend time with him and have him be a bit more romantic as it's Valentine's Day. He never does anything anyway and I'm always the one to initiate things (sexual and non sexual, date nights etc) I'm finding this relationship very boring and I feel lonely. I have said this to him in the past and he then gets better but then back to how it is again.

OP posts:
AnotherSillawithanS · 14/02/2022 20:38

Honestly, I think you sound very childish with your texting him.

Mamas123 · 14/02/2022 20:39

@AnotherSillawithanS

Honestly, I think you sound very childish with your texting him.
I tried to talk to him in person and he didn't... he usually texts me so that's how he communicates so I texted him as that's the only way he would reply to me
OP posts:
Flexitarian · 14/02/2022 20:48

It’s a bad do when you know you’ll still be too hungover to work after 48 hours. I mean, we’ve all had those awful lingering hangovers, but to know it’s coming in advance and book annual leave?!

OP, you can do better than this. Being single would be better than this.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 14/02/2022 20:50

Why are you wasting your time with this clown?

CornishTiger · 14/02/2022 20:56

How old are you both? This is ridiculous

LoudSnoringDog · 14/02/2022 20:58

Wtf am I reading here?

FennecShandDoesEverything · 14/02/2022 21:03

Stop being so bloody passive. He's a useless waste of space, but you're indulging it and doing nothing to change your situation. Stop. Get a grip and actually do something.

Lookingoutside · 14/02/2022 21:15

Jesus Christ.

OP, this is your one precious life. LEAVE!!!!!!!

madroid · 15/02/2022 00:02

I also suggested that we should separate as it's not fair on me to feel like this. But he still hasn't moved from the bed!

That's because he doesn't take you seriously. He can ignore you.

So he drinks so much he has to take a day off
Won't talk
Won't do anything
Won't have sex
Makes you feel lonely
Makes you feel bored

Hardly catch of the year is he?

Mamas123 · 15/02/2022 02:50

@madroid

I also suggested that we should separate as it's not fair on me to feel like this. But he still hasn't moved from the bed!

That's because he doesn't take you seriously. He can ignore you.

So he drinks so much he has to take a day off
Won't talk
Won't do anything
Won't have sex
Makes you feel lonely
Makes you feel bored

Hardly catch of the year is he?

Exactly! Which is why I have told him to leave tonight (which he has now). And I've told him to get a place of his own as I am not having him living with me any longer the way it is. If he really does want to grow up and change than he can show me by living apart from me and only then if he's changed and sorted himself out, then I will take him back. But for now, I am getting on with my life without the hassle of a manchild in toe
OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 15/02/2022 07:26

A 2 day hangover, does he drink that much every week.

Mamas123 · 15/02/2022 07:35

@Bananalanacake

A 2 day hangover, does he drink that much every week.
No but when he goes out he is always hungover for a couple of days. He doesn't go out often
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 15/02/2022 07:37

Why are you telling him to leave and prove himself when he has 0 respect for you already? Just end things. Don't waste your time.

Baconking · 15/02/2022 07:41

He won't change!! Don't hold out for change. He has shown you who he is.

Close the door on him and move on.

CandyLeBonBon · 15/02/2022 07:58

This all sounds pretty passive aggressive and pointless.

You don't like him that much by the sounds of it, he doesn't like you that much by the sounds of it, you both resort to petty childish communication styles, there's no mutual love or respect - what's the point?

Just go your separate ways and move on! Life is to short for this sort of petty drama!

Beeheart · 15/02/2022 08:05

Even if he was upset you didn’t go (you had a very valid reason however), it is not right for him to react in this way. He sounds lazy, immature and rude. You deserve better.

Inthesameboatatmo · 15/02/2022 11:35

Don't take him back op regardless of his begging. Good luck

RantyAunty · 15/02/2022 12:50

Well done on getting rid!
Treat yourself!

IrishKatie1971 · 15/02/2022 13:25

No speaking in person, texting in the same house, no sex, no presence, no attention, no love, no... nothing... you had a cocklodger OP.

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