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Relationships

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Sex with a younger man

68 replies

ShimmeringSheen · 12/02/2022 14:05

Similar to another thread posted today, are there any women in their 40s or above who have had sex with a younger man? I'm 49 and been exchanging texts with a guy I used to work with. He's in his mid 20s and he wants us to shag. It's not so much that I'm wondering whether to go with it (I think I will), I wondered if any others here had taken the plunge like this?

OP posts:
PinkTonic · 12/02/2022 14:11

When I divorced and was single at that age I got a lot of attention from younger men. I figured sex with an ‘older woman’ was just a tick box exercise for them and it wouldn’t be a novelty for me as I’d already had plenty of sex with men in their 20s.

5128gap · 12/02/2022 14:18

Loads have. It's very much a thing. You don't need to see it as any different from any other man really if you're only expecting sex. Certainly never fall into the trap of thinking that his youth gives him heightened value (which he may imply) They're a dime a dozen, and you're the prize.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 12/02/2022 15:43

It’s very much a fantasy for younger men to have sex with older women, expecting them to more “experienced” and voracious in some manner, think The Graduate.

SnoogyWoo · 12/02/2022 17:15

Plus his todger will be as stiff as a broom handle.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 12/02/2022 17:21

At 41 I met my now dh who was 31.
Been together nearly 10 years.

BuddhaForMary · 12/02/2022 17:23

I married one, 10 years younger Grin

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 12/02/2022 17:26

I'm very much in favour of casual sex but for me being 41 under 30 is just too young for me

BlondeWidow · 12/02/2022 21:15

If he is someone to actually use the term 'shag' then he sounds like he puts it about a bit Hmm

WinnieMac · 12/02/2022 21:17

I haven't, and I wouldn't. Too close to my children's ages to be anything other than weird. Plus I wouldn't want to be a weird kind of trophy shag.

Itsnotover · 12/02/2022 21:18

When I was 32 I used to sleep with a 20 year old. Yes he had lots of energy etc but he also expected it to be like a porn film.

CambsAlways · 12/02/2022 21:27

He wants us to shag! Well there’s an opportunity, he has a way with words🤣🤣 Im happily married to a man few years younger than myself, personally it wouldn’t appeal to me as at 49 my children were older than him, I wouldn’t want to have sex with a man younger than my adult children.

Blushingm · 12/02/2022 21:33

I'm 43 and sleeping with a 25 yo, it's good!

Darbs76 · 12/02/2022 21:33

Well I’m 45 and never been asked but I probably would, for a bit of fun, nothing serious

MrsBerthaRochester · 12/02/2022 21:35

I only shag younger men. Im 46 but I wont go under 25 as I think its to big a gap and to close to my oldest dc in age.
My ideal age for guys is 30 to 35. Young enough to have plenty of stamina but old enough to engage in conversation.

MMmomDD · 12/02/2022 22:08

Why not? You are both consenting adults.
Basics work the same. More energy and stamina. As long as you are not expecting this to be a relationship, no one gets hurt.
Not sure why it matters that he may be looking for ‘sex with an older woman’ as something exotic. Since ‘sex with a younger man’ is also something older women talk about in exactly the same terms.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 12/02/2022 22:33

@MMmomDD

Why not? You are both consenting adults. Basics work the same. More energy and stamina. As long as you are not expecting this to be a relationship, no one gets hurt. Not sure why it matters that he may be looking for ‘sex with an older woman’ as something exotic. Since ‘sex with a younger man’ is also something older women talk about in exactly the same terms.
Yep, some younger men prefer having sex with older women, as they feel that older women have more experience, more confidence, enjoy having sex, etc.
MMmomDD · 12/02/2022 22:49

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Yes - and older women can also for ‘young man experience’. Stronger erections, more stamina, etc. It all came upthread.

Not very female/male interaction has to be potentially romantic, or lead to long term relationships. It can be just about sex, if the circumstances fall that way. Which seems to be OPs situation.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 12/02/2022 23:27

@MMmomDD
Yep, but when you are an older man (like me), nobody wants you 😂😂, oh well never mind, I still have my memories of being a younger man and having a brief fling with an older woman, the sex was great 👍🏼

MMmomDD · 13/02/2022 00:31

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Plenty of older women are looking to have relationships with guys their age.

It’s unlikely you problems with women have anything to do with all of them turning cougar.

Sonaftersonafterson · 13/02/2022 00:35

Absolutely yes! Why not?? Some of these guys are jaw dropping. The kind of guys 20 something me would dream about but never get to touch!! Such fun and no harm.

I will say though, sex with older blokes is better.

SD1978 · 13/02/2022 00:43

I personally really wouldn't want to, same as I'd find it a bit ick if the man was mid 40's and the woman was mid 20's, but that's for me personally. I'd rather not than with someone I had sod all in common with.

Hawkins001 · 13/02/2022 00:45

@ShimmeringSheen

Similar to another thread posted today, are there any women in their 40s or above who have had sex with a younger man? I'm 49 and been exchanging texts with a guy I used to work with. He's in his mid 20s and he wants us to shag. It's not so much that I'm wondering whether to go with it (I think I will), I wondered if any others here had taken the plunge like this?
i believe the term is a cougar lady, all the best op
StarlightLady · 13/02/2022 05:48

Early 40s, been with younger and older. Age is just a number. It’s about passion not maths!

Chikapu · 13/02/2022 06:56

My husband is 16 years younger than me so I regularly have sex with a younger man. I say go for it.

StarlightLady · 13/02/2022 07:20

But you have to accept that younger men are often useless at undoing your bra! 😂