12yo revealed this *(Content warning: concerns child sex abuse)

[nousernameno]

My niece confided in me yesterday and said something which has made me very angry.

She said that when she was slightly younger (7-8), My SIL used to take her to her room, strip in front of her and ask her touch her breasts. She had done this on many occasions until my niece had asked why she is making her do this and she doesn't want to do it.

My niece never revealed this to us as she said she was told to keep it a secret and she thought her mum would be angry her if she told her mum.

I'm not sure how to approach this situation but clearly she has been exposed to things she shouldn't have been as a child.

Her mum is reluctant to confront the person responsible as it's family but it's driving me nuts

I think given the nature of the thread and the fact that the op has said she will report this, it's probably better to let it lie now.

This sounds like an awful family. Get the children the hell out of there. Agree if this was BIL there would be less hesitation to report. Her mum needs to act in the interest of her daughter.

@Toanewstart23

I’ve read your history OP

* I cannot remember what happened but apparently I got upset with DH and he went into the other room to have a chat with SIL and whilst consoling me, my BIL touched my breast and kissed me*

Is this the SIL you’re referring to in this thread?

If this is two different people OP then I have no idea what you are doing having contact with either of them. Report them to the police. Who knows who else's lives they are ruining you can put a stop to it.

If its the same person who has transitioned or something then still same advice applies. You don't need mumsnet to tell you to report them to the police.

Neither of your (you, her mother) reactions are normal here

If she has told you that took alot of bravery on her part and I'm sorry to say its now on you as an adult to handle it. Doing nothing can cause more trauma then you even know and can lead to her further abuse from others because she thinks it's okay or she thinks she won't be believed or that it's the only way she can be valued. Under no circumstances try deal with it yourself, report it it regardless. At times children may become confused she may even be covering for someone else but only trained professionals can get to the bottom and support her through justice and also emotional support to try lessen the impact into adulthood. Am I right by in following that it's also been discussed with her mum who is also burying her head in the sand ? Imagine this as a male stranger instead of someone familiar I believe you'd feel sick to the stomach and immediately protect her.

Contact the child help
Line or police - don’t do what others have said and talk to her or you might confuse her memories let professionals speak to her first and guide you. But don’t let it lie as it will haunt her for the rest of her life she needs to process it she has told you for a reason

And if there is both a bil and sil performing inappropriate sexual acts to both minors and adults chances are they've been damaged themselves through the lines and need intervention !!

How long has her mum known about this?

This SIL is a danger to children. I know these things are extremely difficult to report, but you're making the right decision by choosing to do this. It would have taken your niece a lot of courage to tell her mum and you.

Or social services child protection team

@Iom92

Report to the police immediately. You have a duty to safeguard your niece.

100% this.

She’s a paedophile. What on earth is wrong with your niece’s mother? Wtf does being “family” have to do with anything. Most abusers are family members and this is why they continue to get away with it.
Straight to police.

Go straight to the police. Do not hesitate.

Thanks for the reports about this thread. We can see that the OP's been given some good advice and support so far and that she's said she'll be reporting this to the police.

We just wanted to add some further support links.
The NSPCC can give advice about non-recent child abuse. Please click on the link for further information.

You can contact their trained helpline counsellors 24 hours a day by email ([email protected]) or via their online reporting form. You can also call the Helpline Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm and 9am – 6pm at the weekend - 0808 800 5000

We're going to move your thread over to our Relationships topic now as we think it's a better place for it than AIBU.

We hope your niece is okay, OP.

@Jazzyjeffery

Please ensure that your SIL is exposed for this behaviour. You cant change what has happened but you can support your niece now and show that she is protected and believed. Don't double the damage by burying this.

This

Is this the same family/relatives where your BIL groped you when he was drunk, or are these other relatives on DH's side, her mother not the same SIL? Keep yourselves and your child safe from all of them.

@OakRowan

Is this the same family/relatives where your BIL groped you when he was drunk, or are these other relatives on DH's side, her mother not the same SIL? Keep yourselves and your child safe from all of them.

I asked And the OP hasn’t replied since

Is this poster for real?