Husbands snoring- won't go to GP

[Disneydatknee88]

I'm at my wits end with my husbands snoring. In our old house he had a sofa bed in his man cave so I'd get the occasional restbite but we moved 2 months ago with nowhere else for him or I to sleep when I've had enough. I've tried ear plugs. I tell him to roll over in the night when I'm really annoyed but it only works for about 10 minutes before he starts again. It doesn't matter whether he sleeps on his side, his back, his front. More pillows. Less pillows. I've asked him to go to the GP but he refuses. Says they will just tell him to lose weight and stop smoking which he isn't willing to do. He has this stupid man child idea in his head that if he goes to the GP they will tell him he's got cancer or something serious and he doesn't want to know. He never goes to the GP, ever. We had a row tonight and I said fine I will phone the GP for you and book you in. He seems less paranoid about me arranging it for him for some reason? When did I become his secretary? This is literally the only thing we disagree on. He's a great dad and husband so I won't be LTB for his fog horn sleep routine. Can the GP do anything? Mostly just venting here. How do we fix this?! I'm so exhausted.

Is be telling him to sleep on the sofa or a blow up elsewhere until he can be arsed to sort it out. I HATE snorers who don't give a shit about anyone else!

earplugs that play music - white noise - or a story work best OP.

A comfortable sofa bed is a holy-grail but harder to find.

[quote greasyshoes]@PermanentTemporary

Yes the GP can suggest things but if he's not willing to do anything about it not much will change. However, men who claim they won't do anything will sometimes leap into action if told to by an authority figure. Can you request a male GP?

What makes you think a male GP is more qualified to treat a man?[/quote]
Oh c'mon. Nobody implied female GPs are less qualified. Men should be able to see male GPs if that makes them more comfortable just as women should be able to see female GPs if they want to. Sometimes it's easier to discuss something personal with, or be examined by, someone of the same sex. Surely that is obvious?

@HootOwl

Nobody implied female GPs are less qualified. Men should be able to see male GPs if that makes them more comfortable just as women should be able to see female GPs if they want to.

Umm, yes, I agree, but I was replying to a comment which stated he should see a male GP.

Sometimes it's easier to discuss something personal with, or be examined by, someone of the same sex. Surely that is obvious?

Well that depends on the individual, surely. For me, I am more comfortable and at ease when discussing personal problems with, or being examined by, the opposite sex, though I've never felt the need to request a doctor specifically of either sex.

Though we don't know what OP's husband would prefer (I haven't seen any evidence that he would receive better treatment from a male GP) and snoring is not really the kind of discussion topic that would be embarassing to discuss with the opposite sex.

[quote greasyshoes]@HootOwl

Nobody implied female GPs are less qualified. Men should be able to see male GPs if that makes them more comfortable just as women should be able to see female GPs if they want to.

Umm, yes, I agree, but I was replying to a comment which stated he should see a male GP.

Sometimes it's easier to discuss something personal with, or be examined by, someone of the same sex. Surely that is obvious?

Well that depends on the individual, surely. For me, I am more comfortable and at ease when discussing personal problems with, or being examined by, the opposite sex, though I've never felt the need to request a doctor specifically of either sex.

Though we don't know what OP's husband would prefer (I haven't seen any evidence that he would receive better treatment from a male GP) and snoring is not really the kind of discussion topic that would be embarassing to discuss with the opposite sex.[/quote]
Ok. But many people do have very valid reasons why they'd be more comfortable discussing mental or physical health, being examined or treated by someone of the same sex, even if you personally are not bothered about it.

ROFL at the poster haughtily asking what you expect the GP to do!

OP my DH got sent for a sleep study and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. It has revolutionary both of our lives. He sleeps with a machine now and has SO much more energy because he is finally resting properly. He's lost loads of weight as a result: turns out the excess weight was a symptom of how tired he was and not the cause of the snoring. My sleep has been totally transformed too. Good luck.

@SmellyWellyWoo

You have my sympathies. My partner sweats excessively at night, always goes to the toilet during the night (in his late 30s) and also snores. He isn't overweight or a smoker but will not see our GP. We have no spare rooms/beds and I'm at my wits end. I feel like his refusal to do anything is affecting my love for him. It's that serious now.

Night sweats and constantly going to the loo on the night we're the first symptoms I noticed before I was diagnosed as diabetic. He really should go for a health check!

@newbiename

Get him an air bed or sofa bed for the lounge. Unacceptable.

My wife snores, (quite common post menopause) maybe I should tell her she is a selfish prick and get her to sleep in the lounge on an air bed

Oh no , wait, I’m a man, So I’m the one who gets to sleep in the spare room.

[quote fallfallfall]@gamerchick, only 35% of people who snore have sleep apnea.
20% of those who are over 60 and snore have sleep apnea.
you don't need a dr.'s referral to attend a sleep clinic which begs to question the sales service and financial aspect of cpap machines and diagnosis.
the dr.'s route although a starting point for many will not give your results tonight or even this week.[/quote]
What financial aspect?

Oh no , wait, I’m a man, So I’m the one who gets to sleep in the spare room.

Nope, the snorer should always go to the spare room.

sleep apnea clinics claiming normal snoring is more sinister for the sole purpose of selling you equipment for the rest of your life.

@fallfallfall

sleep apnea clinics claiming normal snoring is more sinister for the sole purpose of selling you equipment for the rest of your life.

Husband wasn't charged for his CPAP or replacement masks. Maybe it's different in other places.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow nothing to do with being a man. The snorer who is keeping their partner awake needs to move.

@TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo I have sleep apnoea as previously mentioned, and I used to wake up frequently to use the toilet during the night. Sometimes up to 4/5 times and I don't go to bed early either, so that was probably in the space of about 6.5/7 hours. Now I'm on CPAP I don't usually wake up at all until the morning. I also used to wake up with a bad headache most days. Obviously it could be something else but he sounds like he needs to get checked out

There are no financial aspects to sleep apnoea in the U.K. @fallfallfall I had all my equipment for free and will never be charged for it.

Oops sorry that was meant for @SmellyWellyWoo

Buy a sofa bed for the lounge and a nice futon (sp?) to keep your duvet and pillow in. As soon as it starts, relocate to the lounge.

Long term,- this will probably impact your relationship, but if he's not willing to lose weight or stop smoking to save it or to give you some sleep, then it's a lost cause anyway.
Sorry.

Just found this thread after searching how to smother my partner because of his fucking snoring about snoring. I live in a 3 story house and have just come to bed because my partner was snoring and I couldn't hear the tv. He didn't budge so he's still down there and I can hear him 2 fucking floors up. He's not over weight, doesn't smoke and hasn't been drinking. His snoring is the worst I've ever heard. It's like a steam roller is coming through the house. He went to the gp who prescribed some drops but he hasn't even taken the prescription to the chemist. It's so bad. Even with ear plugs in, his snoring vibrates through the bed. My poor neighbours must wonder what's happened to the peace since he moved in 😴

Not sure if I'm looking for tips or just a rant. Short of kicking him out I don't know what else to do.

@SallyAnn32 it's a nightmare isn't it. I chucked my DH out to the spare room, I still hear him sometimes but at least I can sleep a bit.

Why hasn't he picked up the drops? Why are they all so flaming selfish?

Have you tried recording him? That might help him understand how you are affected by it. My brother snored but felt his wife was exaggerating until she played it back. She wasn’t nasty, just asked him to hear what she was hearing.

It's such a nightmare!

@Moglie he's recorded himself on one of those sleep apps. He's suffered from loud snoring all of his life. It's just one of the most blood boiling things being kept awake by snoring!

My DH only really snores after a few beers so I’m lucky but yeah, lived with my brother for a few years and could still hear him through the wall and my earplugs. He also regularly slept through three separate alarm clocks (I didnt) going off so the day after he left our flat to get married was the quietest snooziest day of my life.
He’s had a ping-pong ball sewn into his pjs, nose clips, mouth guards, his wife & sons screaming and dogs barking but snores through it all. Funnily enough a cold bedroom helped a bit.

@SallyAnn32 💐🎧 I hope the drops help x

I feel your pain OP.

Last week DH had a terrible cold so slept in our spare room. It's the best sleep I've had in years!

It's so difficult because I don't want DH sleeping elsewhere but I do seem to spend half the night telling him to turn over on his side.

Have you tried an such as do I snore or grind? It will document the whole nights worth of snoring and or teeth bringing. My ex was mortified when I used this and showed him the evidence of what I was trying to sleep through. The factual nature took away his need for an emotional defensive response.

He was diagnosed with apnea and uses a machine now. I have to disagree with the poster who likened it to Darth Vader, I found it like sleeping next to Ivor the bloody Engine (showing my age) and it wasn’t a workable improvement to the snoring for me.

As an insomniac at the best of times. Being single seems to give the best nights sleep 😉

• an app

@Disneydatknee88

We have agreed the most obvious solution is an option for me/him to sleep elsewhere when the snoring gets bad. Our furniture could do with an upgrade anyway so one sofa that pulls out as a bed is our only option!

No! HE sleeps in the less comfortbale space. You don't.

HE needs to feel the discomfort his overweight and smoking causes. You don't.

He goes to his GP and does whatever he can to shut the fuck up or he stays on the sofa bed. However uncomfortable and inconvenient that might be.