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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband in rehab, am I being lied to? Suspicious

80 replies

Newhere1394 · 02/02/2022 17:44

Hi all. You may know a bit of info if you saw a previous thread. Since splitting with my husband 6 weeks ago due to his addiction, he has stayed clean & entered rehab day 3 today. He previously tried hypnotherapy which didn’t work and relapsed so now he’s in inpatient treatment in rehab for 14 days. Monday was his first day, come Tuesday he was telling me he hates it there and wants to leave and could handle it himself and it’s a waste of money, they gave him a medicine which is generally used before surgery for people who are fearful it’s calming. Today he is totally fine with staying there, however he chose today to tell me on his arrival, they checked all his belongings which he knew they would, yet in a pair of his ‘old’ jeans… he wore there on this day on checking, they found a bag of it in his buttoned up jeans pocket on arrival. He said today he told me because he wants to be honest, he wasn’t sure how I would react… he says it was old and shows how bad the problem got. I find it hard to believe he just happened to be wearing jeans with that in the pocket from the past… he had a clear out at his own place before leaving for rehab and I feel it’s more likely he found an old bag and put it in his pocket… they took it anyway, however that makes me wonder if that’s why he wanted to leave. I question if he is manipulating me or testing me/reactions. I feel maybe it’s a half truth. What would you guys think of this situation? He was/is CLEAN for 6 weeks going in, we separated 6 weeks ago so he would take things seriously. Just don’t know what to believe. He cleaned out his place before going and feel maybe he found the bag then. I mean what’s the chances of this happening!?

OP posts:
pointythings · 03/02/2022 09:23

You really need to focus all your energy on emotionally detaching from this man, and while psychotherapy is necessary, the more immediate need is for specialist support from Nar-Anon or a similar group where people have experience of what you are going through. Detaching is the one single thing you must do to keep yourself and your son safe and live a better life going forward. I know it's hard.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/02/2022 10:46

Are you absolutely sure it's rehab?

It sounds more like a 14 day detox for somebody still actively using. Which would mean he isn't clean at all. Particularly as they're giving him medication to stop him rattling.

Amy89 · 03/02/2022 19:10

Also interested in calls from rehab. My experience is no phones. Just a pay phone that’s very monitored

PromisesMeanNothingSue · 03/02/2022 23:16

smartrecovery.org.uk/online-meetings/

You might find it useful to attend some Family & Friends meetings.

ChristmasPlanning · 06/02/2022 22:55

I think he's lying to you Thanks

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