Could you tolerate DH spouting rubbish?

[Love55]

I love spending time with DH. I look forward to him coming home. He cooks for me most evenings and we always have a giggle on the sofa after DC are in bed. He makes me laugh etc etc. And he's a good man.

BUT....he has a habit of basically saying some really stupid/offensive stuff.

Examples

"Lesbians have penis envy"
"Newsreaders can't be taken seriously when they wear make-up"
"Climate change is rather convenient don't you think" (cue eyebrow raise)
"Aliens live in the sea"

When I press him on any of this - it become evident that he is repeating something he has read online (think shock jocks, twitter rubbish) and he usually just says 'oh i'm just being silly' or just avoids further conversation because he doesn't seem to know what's he actually saying

If I really push it he gets annoyed at me and says I'm a classic middle class liberal type who doesn't question anything.

The DC love him. He's responsible. And honestly he's funny and warm and great company. If I really thought he held those views, it would be one thing but I genuinely think he is quite gullible (I don't possibly respect him??!) - and he just gets taken in

Would this be an issue for people? I sometimes hear him and think 'how is this MY person?' when i think he sounds so stupid. But also obviously leaving him is v. drastic

No, I wouldn’t tolerate it. I have a very low bar for misogynistic, sexist, idiots.

And he really is an idiot if he thinks it’s only female newsreaders who are wearing makeup.

Does he smoke weed?

@Stookeen In the worldview of a homophobic person.

Lol

My DH does this
When asked why he's not bothered about getting covid he just says "I'm built different"

Total idiot

His dad is also very much like that

But I could be married to some old boring fart

[quote freeatlast2021]@Stookeen In the worldview of a homophobic person.[/quote]
Well, yes, exactly. A human turd. Which doesn’t sit that well with your post suggesting that spouting crap about lesbians and penis envy is just a value-free trait that might be good or bad depending on who’s looking.

Depends on whether he's joking or seriously thinks aliens live in the sea.

If the former, fine. The latter, not so much.

He sounds bigoted and stupid. Do you want your kids hearing that nonsense?

He either enjoys lying to you for fun or he's really quite thick. No way would my standards ever drop that low!

Oh god that type of man who thinks lesbians just can't get themselves a bloke so they turned gay pathetic!

I imagine him to be a Sun reader or those types that believe facebook memes and then share them about immigrants getting £100,000 a year in benefits blah blah. There's sadly loads of people around like this, I couldn't bear it personally and it would put me off them as like you say I couldn't respect them.

@premiumcogd

Lol

My DH does this
When asked why he's not bothered about getting covid he just says "I'm built different"

Total idiot

His dad is also very much like that

But I could be married to some old boring fart

The choice isn't 'total idiot' or 'boring'!

There are other ways to be.

I couldn't be with someone so stupid and offensive and if dp started behaving like this I'd be very concerned

it's a slippery slope OP! if he spends too long on youtube this can only get worse. he is being slowly brainwashed like too many people.

'Does he smoke weed?'

I've never met a weed smoker this thick and bigoted. It's usually the ones downing tins of Stella or pints in the local.

I've met plenty of bigoted weed smokers. Unfortunately the types who spend hours smoking weed are also the types who spend too long listening to dodgy youtube conspiracy theories and are even more susceptible to brainwashing.

*SOME of the types (that should say)

If I really push it he gets annoyed at me and says I'm a classic middle class liberal type who doesn't question anything.

They usually say this because their claims don't add up to any scrutiny and they can't answer any questions beyond 'it's obvious', 'it says on the Internet' and 'well, you would say that'.

Just practice 'Interested Face #289' and say 'oh, that's nice, dear'. And male newsreaders wear make up. You have to on camera.

Fuck me, he sounds thick as mince

Get his phone, go into wellness settings and block YouTube etc.
He will redirect to sites that work for him hopefully sport/hobby related and then you won't have to listen to this nonsense.

Spouting that shit, he'd never made it to DH

My DH seems to love talking bad about me behind my back the things that get back to me are horrible but when I ask him about it he denies that he said anything to anyone even though they all say he said these things about me to them. They’re all liars apparently!
I believed him at first but now it’s coming from multiple different people almost everyone that we know and some of the things they tell me that he says about me are just obvious that they’ve come from him...
the world knows our business and more!
He also likes to call me names behind my back and people will tell me about that too. I have no clue what to do as he’s not like this to my face and we generally do have a good relationship. I just can’t believe someone can be so nice to my face and claim to love me but talk so bad about me behind my back!

@KatherineJaneway

Spouting that shit, he'd never made it to DH

I wouldn’t even want to sit near him on a bus for two minutes. I’m shocked at what some people tolerate from partners. What do you get out of being with someone so embarrassingly thick?

@Classica

Not even being facetious but for a lot of men this is how it starts. At the moment it's just comments that he then semi retracts, but fast forward a year and he could have fallen right down that right wing QAnon rabbit hole.

this. The thing is if you google/youtube something like "climate change is a hoax" then it remembers your algorithim so next thing you google will be more likely to be along those lines - it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It happened my stepfather - a chemical engineer with an MBA. In retirement he started sending out all these shite links to climate change denial etc. It was a combination of him wanting to think he was cleverer than the rest of us and could see what we couldn't and the sites he visited reinforcing all the crap.

I wouldn't find it funny I would find it concerning.

@Diana2022

My DH seems to love talking bad about me behind my back the things that get back to me are horrible but when I ask him about it he denies that he said anything to anyone even though they all say he said these things about me to them. They’re all liars apparently! I believed him at first but now it’s coming from multiple different people almost everyone that we know and some of the things they tell me that he says about me are just obvious that they’ve come from him... the world knows our business and more! He also likes to call me names behind my back and people will tell me about that too. I have no clue what to do as he’s not like this to my face and we generally do have a good relationship. I just can’t believe someone can be so nice to my face and claim to love me but talk so bad about me behind my back!

I absolutely could not tolerate that under any circumstances. I would say that you know he is doing it. If he does it after this conversation or denies it then that is it. He is not only being horrible, he is involving your friends and taking you for a fool. I won't even listen to somebody slagging their partner off. I tell them to sort it out between yourselves and I don't want to hear it.

Is he ten years old?

If I really push it he gets annoyed at me and says I'm a classic middle class liberal type who doesn't question anything.

Except, you are questioning his stupid bullshit. Which, ironically, he really doesn't seem to like!