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Relationships

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Original poster

What is the sex drive of a man in his late 40s/50s and beyond like?

52 replies

Rosiestraws · 27/01/2022 19:33

Can anyone advise on the above? I am considering getting back with an ex with whom we have always had a great sex life which I was happy with. However there is a 12 year age gap and I am trying to weigh up all the pros and cons of what it might be like if we ended up together forever! Sex is very important to me and I'm concerned that it might wane off in the future for him before it does for me.. Any thoughts/experiences or rough ideas of how often a man might want sex in that situation. (Assuming they currently want it a few times a week?)

I should add the person is very fit and healthy for their age - has run a huge amount of marathons/done iron mans etc in the past and no reason to think that would stop or slow down for many years to come..

Ps, yes I'm aware things might change for both of us re sex if/when we have children, but assuming that young children are not having an effect on things!

OP posts:

Timetoretiretospain · 27/01/2022 19:36

My partner is 67 years old - I’m 60. We have sex twice a week . Occasionally more .

dementedma · 27/01/2022 19:39

Depends on the bloke I suppose. All different

Dillydollydingdong · 27/01/2022 19:40

Mines 70. I think men get less interested as they get older, but Viagra works wonders!

13yearslater · 27/01/2022 19:42

If you have children, YOU may not want sex a few times a week. Iron Man would go nuts.

13yearslater · 27/01/2022 19:45

And..long-term relationships aren't predicated on a shagometer. Are you 20 going on 15?

DaveGahansRealWife · 27/01/2022 19:46

Ridiculous question - on here all the time we hear from women who are not interested in sex at various stages of their lives. It's the same for men.

curmudgeonly007 · 27/01/2022 19:51

We (men) are not a one big lump, some men will have lower sex drives than others, some men will still be going strong others not so much, just like women really

As for
I think men get less interested as they get older, but Viagra works wonders!
Viagra will only really work If a guy still has the desire for sex, it doesn’t really help with male libido issues

Bobonelove · 27/01/2022 19:58

I know sex is important but you basing a whole relationship on sex seems so shallow ?

TheFoundation · 27/01/2022 19:59

You'd have to ask him.

BoodleBug51 · 27/01/2022 20:00

Run like the wind in the other direction.

10 year age gap.

Feels like 100 years most of the time.

tolerable · 27/01/2022 20:05

happy with
lived without him for this long
oh my gosh... "ppotential "to going back the way is realistic long term view on sex.
good gurl

Ohmycron · 27/01/2022 20:06

@13yearslater

And..long-term relationships aren't predicated on a shagometer. Are you 20 going on 15?

This

twowheelsgood · 27/01/2022 21:12

45-50+ is still a great time in bed if the chemistry is there. I'm 53 and my stbxw and I were at it several times a week up to the time she moved out (after 20 years together). We had great chemistry under a duvet but wasn't quite right enough in other ways to sustain it, so we ended amicably. If you're on the same page in most ways and sexual chemistry is good, then your sex life is unlikely to deteriorate IMHO. Think positive 👍🏻

OhNoWhatYouGonnaDo · 27/01/2022 21:17

DH is 47 and we have fantastic sex - we have sex pretty much every day. We've been together almost 6 years (married just under 4). I don't agree with PPs calling you shallow for being interested in having a regular sex life - sex can be a really helpful way to bond, to express love etc. However, men are not one big uniform blob, as a PP said, and although sex drive often decreases with age, there is a lot of variation between men of the same age. If you're interested in pursuing a relationship with him you may need to give it a try and see if you still have chemistry and are happy with your sexual frequency, with a view to walking away if the relationship isn't working out.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 27/01/2022 21:19

It's literally impossible to say
Mine is 49 and would have it twice a day if it was on offer but all men are different!

PenStation · 27/01/2022 21:22

My FIL is 90 and when he’d been on the whisky he said he’d still be up for it if MIL was. Unfortunately Mum isn’t as she has dementia. I’m not sure if that helps or not

Sex in our 50s / 60s is even better than when we were younger, but it’s very individual…

SoManyTshirts · 27/01/2022 21:25

FWB and I have a 12 year gap - in his mid seventies he is still very much interested but I think we will be reaching for the viagra soon.

XH lost interest at about 54 but always had low libido. A great deal depends on your relationship.

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 21:25

I've found 50s and 60s are better than younger, but mainly because there's no risk of pregnancy so no faffing around with contraception. This is a massive turn-on.

MrsBerthaRochester · 27/01/2022 22:33

In my experience men mid 40s and above their sex drive and ability to either get or maintain an erection wanes.
Exdh was 10 years older and from 40 onwards his libido went downhill.
In my experience of online dating every guy in his 40s that I shagged had an issue with sex. Usually not getting hard,staying hard or being able to finish.
Now I only shag younger men as sex is very important to me also.

Original poster

Rosiestraws · 27/01/2022 22:40

Thanks for the helpful replies. Perhaps I should have clarified - I meant if you have a good healthy sex drive/ sex life in your relationship when you were younger and happy with the sexual frequency I mentioned (say twice a week or more) and we take the children out of the equation then did it decline/ change with age for him?

I understand all men are different and of course I'll also discuss it with him but he doesn't have experience of sex in his 50s so he can't guarantee anything..I know noone on here can too but others' experiences might help..

Yes sex is a very important part of a relationship for me.. not the only important thing and I'm sure it'll wane when i hit menopause or at other times but I'm just conscious I'll be in my late 30s when he'll be early 50s so hoping to get some perspectives from others on what that might be like. I imagine it could be very different from ending up with someone the same age..

thanks

OP posts:

greasyshoes · 27/01/2022 22:45

All men are different. I'm a good bit younger than 40s/50s. I have sex only on rare occasions, dictated by whenever the opportunity arises. Though even if there were more opportunities to have sex for me, I would never have sex more than... once a month, or so. In my case it's because of medication I take, which really dulls my sex drive.

Ragwort · 27/01/2022 22:48

As others have said ... totally depends on the man .. my DH would love sex every couple of days ... I absolutely don't . We are both over 60.

I wish I was married to a man who had gone off sex ....

My friend has an 80 year old DP ... he still demands sex (horrible relationship... but he still wants sex).

gogohm · 27/01/2022 22:58

Dp is late 50's he's usually keen (can't at the moment due to medical reasons and he's rather fed up about that!)

Thirtytimesround · 27/01/2022 23:00

IT DEPENDS ON THE MAN THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER 🤣

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/01/2022 23:02

Depends very much on his health and fitness.

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