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Original poster

What is the sex drive of a man in his late 40s/50s and beyond like?

52 replies

Rosiestraws · 27/01/2022 19:33

Can anyone advise on the above? I am considering getting back with an ex with whom we have always had a great sex life which I was happy with. However there is a 12 year age gap and I am trying to weigh up all the pros and cons of what it might be like if we ended up together forever! Sex is very important to me and I'm concerned that it might wane off in the future for him before it does for me.. Any thoughts/experiences or rough ideas of how often a man might want sex in that situation. (Assuming they currently want it a few times a week?)

I should add the person is very fit and healthy for their age - has run a huge amount of marathons/done iron mans etc in the past and no reason to think that would stop or slow down for many years to come..

Ps, yes I'm aware things might change for both of us re sex if/when we have children, but assuming that young children are not having an effect on things!

OP posts:
thisgardenlife · 27/01/2022 23:04

@MrsSkylerWhite

Depends very much on his health and fitness.
Exactly this ^
PermanentTemporary · 27/01/2022 23:04

All i can say is there are a lot of men in their 40s and 50s with extremely high sex drives and I would say the average skill level is much, much higher (not surprisingly). I've no doubt there is a rising proportion of the uninterested at that age too.

I personally would be likely to find a 12 year age gap too much but then the biggest age gap I've had is 4 years and sometimes I found that a bit big! Not because of sex though, more life stage and attitudes.

Anothernick · 27/01/2022 23:19

I'm 63 and I've been pleasantly surprised to find that my sex drive has not diminished noticeably over the last few decades - we still do it at least once a week and I also enjoy self service on a regular basis.

Sunnytwobridges · 27/01/2022 23:21

My ex is 53 and he would do it at least 2 times a week if not more. And he shows absolutely no signs of slowing down. However I just turned 50 and my drive has been in the tank most of my life so age and gender don't always mean anything. However I have a mixed friend group and men seem to be more up for it than women for the most part regardless of age.

blyn72 · 28/01/2022 00:01

I can assure you it can be very good indeed.

Shunter350 · 28/01/2022 00:19

I'm 56 and 5/6th. Wink and have just discovered what sex is like when it's affectionate and warm. Frankly I can go on for hours with loads of foreplay and twice a night. Unfortunately I only see my lady about once a week. And she's as keen as I am. It's wonderful!
And there's certainly no sign of this creaking middle ager slowing down..Grin

Usernameisgone · 28/01/2022 00:24

My partner is mid 50s, he would have sex everyday if I wanted. 🤣

Topicall · 28/01/2022 00:27

If he's run all those marathons then having leg problems is probably more of an issue?

Bussinbussin · 28/01/2022 00:31

Both my current and ex partners are 10ish years older (v early 60s) and still going strong. Well, the ex was up until the point we broke up a few years ago.

DaveGahansRealWife · 28/01/2022 00:58

@Rosiestraws

Thanks for the helpful replies. Perhaps I should have clarified - I meant if you have a good healthy sex drive/ sex life in your relationship when you were younger and happy with the sexual frequency I mentioned (say twice a week or more) and we take the children out of the equation then did it decline/ change with age for him?

I understand all men are different and of course I'll also discuss it with him but he doesn't have experience of sex in his 50s so he can't guarantee anything..I know noone on here can too but others' experiences might help..

Yes sex is a very important part of a relationship for me.. not the only important thing and I'm sure it'll wane when i hit menopause or at other times but I'm just conscious I'll be in my late 30s when he'll be early 50s so hoping to get some perspectives from others on what that might be like. I imagine it could be very different from ending up with someone the same age..

thanks

Why would you say yours will wain when you hit menopause ?
DeeCeeCherry · 28/01/2022 01:46

Partner 66. We have sex once a week. Sometimes twice. DP has a high sex drive so he'd like more but its not an issue as he doesnt push me about that at all.

Im late 50s my sex drive hasnt waned at all. Just that its always been quality over quantity for me, I look forward to it more that way, as opposed to several times a week.

OP you do sound a bit as if you think people wither after 45...!

Cameleongirl · 28/01/2022 02:03

@Topicall

If he's run all those marathons then having leg problems is probably more of an issue?
Yes, @Topicall, I’d be more concerned about knee replacements than sex drive.😂

Tbh, OP, if you’re concerned about the age gap before you’ve even got back together, I’d listen to that doubt. It sounds as if you don’t really want an older partner so find someone closer to your own age.

GlamorousHeifer · 28/01/2022 07:26

I am 38 and would be happy with very infrequent sex...husband is 54 and would have sex every day if I was up for it.

SomewhereOnlyIKnow · 28/01/2022 07:29

My DH is 11 years older than me. Antidepressants started the decline for him, he was advised to get Viagra but didn’t. By mid to late 50’s he wasn’t interested any more and I was fed up of having crap sex, so we just stopped. No conversation, it just happened. Now we’re in separate bedrooms and I’m very much considering divorce.

LaBellina · 28/01/2022 07:31

My experience with men in their 40s - the sex drive is still definitely there but they either have a problem with finishing too fast or not being able to finish at all.
If you want a stallion that can keep up with you all night find yourself a 25 year old. Also speaking from experience here 😂

Thinkingat3am · 28/01/2022 07:34

My boyfriends 48 and I'm 33. We can't do ut at the moment due to his back problems. But before his back got worse he was allover me. It gets me down!

Badbaddog · 28/01/2022 08:12

I’m 59 and my DP is 52. We see each other 4 nights a week and have sex 9 nights out of 10, sometimes in the morning too. He is very skilled as well as very keen 😊. Our sex drives are perfectly matched, I think that’s the important thing in an intimate relationship, plus affection and respect.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 28/01/2022 08:41

They're all different. That being said, my personal experience (I'm a 57 year old woman) from dating men around my own age has been that there's no real decline in libido/ability. However, I prefer daily sex, so perhaps that's why I've attracted men who are the same!

Angrymum22 · 28/01/2022 09:19

The reality is that mens libido is far less dependant on age. Unfortunately women go through the menopause and not everyone can rely on HRT to bolster it. It is far more likely that it will be you that goes off sex than him. I speak from experience, no matter how much you love sex your hormones will fail you.

Angrymum22 · 28/01/2022 09:23

Oh and the biggest influence is children. We have a teenage DS in the house and it really limits our sex life. We were always a Martini couple not an option when DS is always around.

Ohmycron · 28/01/2022 10:02

Talking about dating sex and cohabiting sex. Two different things.
A cohabiting couple has other things affecting their sex life. Regardless of age. Especially with kids

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 28/01/2022 10:30

I'm in that age group, no issues and I have a very small refractory period.
We have regular sex, 1-7 times a week, multiple times one after another.
No viagra.
Same age gap.
But I'm healthy, not fat, etc or mental issues,

Original poster
Rosiestraws · 29/01/2022 15:31

Thanks for the replies.

I certainly don't think that everyone withers after 45 as we've had regular sex as mentioned when he was 45 and 46...! But it appears from threads on here that one partner wanting sex and the other not is a big issue in the future, and although I can't foresee if that would happen or not with anyone, I just want to know if it is likely it'll hit him before it hits me because of the age gap.

To answer a previous poster, I don't generally find men around my age attractive - I prefer an older man in many ways but I'm just trying to weigh up the negative parts too. Sex is one of many considerations of course when considering getting back with an ex!

OP posts:
Cameleongirl · 29/01/2022 15:38

What is it about older men that you find attractive? I'm genuinely curious, as men closer to your own age will "grow up" at some point, while the older men will get older, IYSWIM.

I'm not being disparaging about age gap relationships, but as the physical aging/potentially declining sex drive seems to be important to you, you need to consider whether it's right for you. One of my friends (53) is married to a 68-year-old (69 this year. He's v. active, but I can't imagine this as my DH has just turned 50 and I'm 47. It feels as if we're at a different stage of life to them.

MissyB1 · 29/01/2022 15:41

Dh is 55 this year and has a high libido, he would ideally like sex 3-4 times a week at least. I however having been through menopause struggle to do it more than once a week!