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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Phone notifications

17 replies

Chipper75 · 25/01/2022 12:15

I know it's not the thing to do, but I've looked at DH's phone a few times over the past couple of years. And often he leaves it just lying around open anyway and the kids pick it up to play a game, I answer it if it rings etc etc. He doesn't seem to be aware that his google is linked to our son's tablet, and that if I go on there I can see everything in DH's search history.

Anyway, I happened to look this morning when I got up and on the lock screen were two notifications - "find sexy girls in your local area" and "would you like to have sex with me" followed by a little icon underneath saying there are 233 more notifications....

Now the question is, could there be an innocent explanation?? Has he maybe been on a dodgy site and is now getting bombarded with ads? I often get emails myself telling me to buy various pills and devices to 'elongate my manliness' and 'stop disappointing in bed', clearly I haven't been looking for this as a woman! Or is he on an app? I don't want to go confronting him on this if he can easily talk his way out of it, or if it's not even his fault. Or to let on that I've snooped. And obviously I wouldn't want the kids seeing this.

To finish with, I would like him to have gone looking for it elsewhere as we are on the verge of splitting, and this would be my opportunity to tell him to go once and for all, without feeling such terrible guilt for wanting out myself...

I realise this is quite messy, but would appreciate some advice just on where these notifications could have come from if anyone has seen similar.

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 25/01/2022 12:20

A notification isn’t a search history though

Could your kid be looking at these things - you don’t say how old they are

litterbird · 25/01/2022 12:22

If your marriage is dead then he is probably out there inquisitively looking for girls for his ego. You dont need a reason to split. If its over its over. You need to just finish it and let go. It doesnt matter now if he is looking but if you want to use this to make you feel better about leaving then go ahead. He is probably desperate to get out of the marriage too if its that bad. Just be brave and finish it regardless of his search history.

Chipper75 · 25/01/2022 12:23

I know, this is the thing. I checked the tablet and it's not on there, so it couldn't have been a google search. Which is why I think it could be an app he's downloaded.
It wasn't my son, he's little.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 25/01/2022 12:24

I get hundreds of these emails every month, and I am certainly not looking for sexy girls in my local area.

Chipper75 · 25/01/2022 12:26

@JorisBonson Me too, so I think it could just be innocent... just the 233 notifications overnight seems odd...

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 25/01/2022 12:32

Where did the notifications come from? An app or email?

I had one the other day saying someone was going to send a sex tape of me to my children unless I gave them money. I have never made sex tape and I don't have children.

Chipper75 · 25/01/2022 12:35

@JorisBonson I didn't look any further, they were just there on the lock screen, staring me in the face!

OP posts:
gobbledygoook · 25/01/2022 12:36

I've had these notifications as pop ups! So annoying, I genuinely haven't ever searched these things, but apparently a hot local single milf is ready to meet (often with multiple numbers of notifications too). So annoying!

racquel86 · 25/01/2022 12:38

Are they email notifications? I currently have 6945 🤪 u read emails in by inbox - I sign up to things to try and get offers and then my address is passed on to a million other companies it seems..... including ones that send mail about sex, vasectomies, erectile dysfunction 🤣🤣🤣

Jayaywhynot · 25/01/2022 12:41

If its any consolation I signed up to a site something like footballpools.com to check the football pools results for a family member that lives abroad and since then I've been inundated with notifications such as photos of busty women saying do you want to see my boobs and some that are a lot worse 🙄
I'm a woman in my 50s

Chipper75 · 25/01/2022 12:44

Yeah, it's probably this @Jayaywhynot And it's more of a disappointment than a consolation!!!

OP posts:
forlornlorna · 25/01/2022 12:55

I've literally just got an email notification saying "sexy Asians in your area"

You should see my junk folder! (That's not an euphemism lol)

KawBlimey · 26/01/2022 22:01

I found these notifications on my 10 year old DS's tablet and found out after talking to one of my colleagues at work that there DD had the same thing after they had downloaded a new add on for a game so I'm afraid it is most likely innocent but if you are not happy and are in a position to do so just leave for your own sake

ElectraBlue · 27/01/2022 12:10

I get some of these things in my junk mail folder....

But a bit odd to have that many.

19Bears · 27/01/2022 12:18

Saw some more today. One of the videos seemed to be about a poor lady whose pet cat had somehow become waterlogged.......... Hmm

19Bears · 27/01/2022 12:19

Clearly I don't know how this name changing thing works

pinkyredrose · 27/01/2022 12:24

Forget the phone , you're not happy with him so start making plans to leave. Life's too short to be miserable.

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