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Relationships

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Original poster

Does my PT like me more than friends

94 replies

spinninginmyhead · 22/01/2022 21:13

So I started going to see a PT around a year ago I am male she is female. Over this time we have become firm friends and do things socially sometimes twice a week outside of training. We have a lot in common.

When I first started training she was in a relationship which turned bad and she has not really dated since. She mentioned she was on Hinge the other day and this made me feel really jealous and that is when I thought that I am obviously starting to feel more for her than just friends I am in fact falling for her.

I have always thought that she saw me as a friend and no more, she in my view is way out of my league and most of her ex have been male model material.

However recently she has dropped comments into the conversation like;

I really want to find an emotionally intelligent man and you are the only person who is that.

You have such great qualities, why are you single.

She has commented on my simile and the other day said how good looking I was.

She said my personality is one which is glowing.

She joked that her mum has said she fancied me and when her mum found out we had been out for dinner joked that we should date, she said her response to her mum was dont even go there.

So all this sounds really positive, but she has also said that she does not date clients and thank you for not coming onto me (that was a couple of months ago)

and also she has had major trust issues with men due to a series of really bad experiences.

What do you think, does she like me more than friends? I don;t want to loose an amazing friendship

How would you tell her how I feel about her.

OP posts:

TeamBlondie · 23/01/2022 16:57

@Tullig I cooked for my kitchen fitter when he was here for a later night finishing

Tullig · 23/01/2022 17:05

[quote TeamBlondie]@Tullig I cooked for my kitchen fitter when he was here for a later night finishing [/quote]
But did he tell you you had a 'glowing personality'?

TeamBlondie · 23/01/2022 17:22

@Tullig haha no! We are both married.

RoseSays · 23/01/2022 18:34

[quote spinninginmyhead]@FlasherMcGruff it's such a tough one especially given she is actively dating and recently had a good date.

Yes, when we socialise there are the odd touches. I cooked for her over Christmas and when I was cooking something on the hob she gave me a brief back rub, and randomly came up as I was putting stuff in the dishwasher and gave me a hug to say thank you. I should caviat that she is a very tactical person.

Then things like the other day she turned up at mine to pick something up and bought me a small random gift. It was only meant to be s brief drop off but we chatted for a good couple of hours.

Then dinner the other night was so much fun.

She does know I am on Hinge and she showed me her Hinge and bumble profiles

It was the session after that meal she has really started to comment more about my looks as well as my personality.

But it was the teasing comments her Mum made about our meal only being friends clearly trying to stir things and she said to her don't Go there.[/quote]
The thing is as a woman it's so nice to have male friends.
Then they go and spoil it all by saying something like I love you...
(Sorry couldn't resist )
But it's true!
I absolutely love male company, but they always either try it on at some stage or pine after you and make you feel as if you are using them.

She knows you're dating.
She is dating.

Honestly a former sex-worker (I'm not judging - but I am assuming) she's not backward in coming forward!
She is attracted to a completely different guy than you are. She's said so many things that indicate she is very happy how things are between you.

But if you really can't stop yourself fancying her - then best just come out with it - just please take it with good grace if she doesn't see you like that.
8 years is a fair age difference as well, I personally think you are a friend and nothing more, but save yourself the torture and just ask.

You can get another PT, just do it respectfully and don't be shitty if it's a no.

RoseSays · 23/01/2022 18:36

Ps my electrician is coming over tomorrow - I feel I need to get a shop in after this thread!

Bringsexyback · 23/01/2022 18:43

@RoseSays

Ps my electrician is coming over tomorrow - I feel I need to get a shop in after this thread!

Well if the OP’s anything to go by you better stop via Boots as well

TheOccupier · 23/01/2022 18:44

Perhaps you could pretend you've got back trouble and have been advised not to train for at least a few weeks, but say you'd like to continue meeting up socially and see how she responds/how that goes? If she wants to meet up when there's no possibility of income attached, that would be a good sign.

You could always secretly train elsewhere/at home to stay in shape!

janethefitnessbee · 23/01/2022 19:07

@spinninginmyhead

I have always thought that she saw me as a friend and no more, she in my view is way out of my league and most of her ex have been male model material.

However recently she has dropped comments into the conversation like;

I really want to find an emotionally intelligent man and you are the only person who is that.

You have such great qualities, why are you single.

She has commented on my simile and the other day said how good looking I was.

She said my personality is one which is glowing.

She joked that her mum has said she fancied me and when her mum found out we had been out for dinner joked that we should date, she said her response to her mum was dont even go there.

So all this sounds really positive, but she has also said that she does not date clients and thank you for not coming onto me (that was a couple of months ago)

and also she has had major trust issues with men due to a series of really bad experiences.

What do you think, does she like me more than friends? I don;t want to loose an amazing friendship

How would you tell her how I feel about her.

dont do it

Aprilx · 23/01/2022 19:22

I have always found it difficult to pick up on signals when somebody likes me more than friends. What signals would you be showing

I know what I wouldn’t be doing or saying. I wouldn’t tell the object of my interest that I don’t date [clients / or people in the situation they are in]. I definitely wouldn’t be thanking them for not coming on to me. I wouldn’t tell them about a conversation with my mother about dating them and saying “don’t go there”. I do compliment my friends.

She really could not have made it any clearer that she sees you as a friend. I think she will be disappointed if you say anything because she thought she had found a new friend and this will bring awkwardness into it.

I also understand that the current situation is going to be hard for you though and maybe you need to cut back on the PT or reduce the socialising a little to give yourself time to get over it.

tellinglikeitis555 · 23/01/2022 19:53

This reply has been deleted

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Bringsexyback · 23/01/2022 19:58

@tellinglikeitis555

She is flirting with you to get your fucking money. She is probably still on the game and wants you to be her client that way to.

Well she wants an emotionally intelligent man which by the sounds of it the OP is 1,000,000 miles away from 🙄

This is definitely starting to sound like a windup now

tellinglikeitis555 · 23/01/2022 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Bringsexyback · 23/01/2022 20:02

@tellinglikeitis555 … seriously ? It’s bedtime in an hour you gonna need to get off the internet go and get your homework done.

LondonWolf · 23/01/2022 20:03

I see some poor MNetter's bitter ex husband has arrived...

Derelicthome · 23/01/2022 21:12

When I was younger I never realised when guys liked me. Always thought they just saw me as a friend but not good enough to date.
So I think be bold and out ask her on a date don’t be ambiguous.

PenStation · 23/01/2022 21:36

I think she likes you but is like you, worried about spoiling a good friendship / client relationship.

blue30 · 23/01/2022 22:46

OP once you realise and accept that because of your developing feelings for her your close platonic friendship is over, you will realise that the only way to forward is honesty, whatever the outcome. Falling for people happens you shouldn’t feel like a bad person because of it. Just get it over with and stop torturing yourself.

blue30 · 23/01/2022 22:47

PS, updates pls.

BacardiOnATuesday · 23/01/2022 23:22

I’d say her boundaries are quite skewed. As a PT I would expect her to be very careful about socialising with clients and I think some of the things she has said to you are confusing but perhaps typical of someone whose relationships with men have been toxic.

Perhaps she doesn’t really know what ‘normal’ is any more.

To be honest, I’d be cautious here. She sounds quite confused and I’m not sure you would get the relationship you are seeking.

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