Me and my partner have a baby together, I work 3 days a week, he works 5. I work at home so whilst trying to juggle childcare on my days off looking after my son and whilst trying to work I do the housework (when work is quiet). Otherwise if I don’t do this my partner is too lazy to contribute and I do like to try and do things as a family at weekends so try not to do the housework then.
Ive tried in so many ways to get him to help me (I don’t ask for a lot) though he says I do! All I ask is that between the 2 of us, washing is done (which he never does, I do) the downstairs is hoovered, again mostly by me, the kitchen is to a tidy standard, he does some days but I do most and the bathrooms are cleaned (since being in our house I can count on one hand how many times he’s done it).
We are constantly arguing over this, he says I want my house like a show home (I can guarantee I don’t) we are lucky if our upstairs bedrooms see a hoover once a month - it kills me but I simply can’t do everything and also work plus bring up our son and organise our lives, make sure bills are paid on time etc.
I prepare all the meals and he usually cooks it up whilst I am feeding our son (when he’s finished work) but I also work for 3 of those days so I’m trying to juggle working and preparing meals so that our son eats at a normal time of day.
I ensure all of our sons (and my partners) prescriptions are ordered/collected and do the weekly shop, plan meals, run our pets to the vets when needed (due to my partner not driving) and most of the house/ life admin is done by me.
Financially we can not afford a cleaner and we can not afford for me to not work 3 days.
I’m at my wits end, I’m exhausted, my son isn’t sleeping well and I seem to be the one waking with him at night.
Every time I bring this up my partner just blames my high expectations instead of taking any responsibility for his lack of help. He always says he’ll do more, one day of ‘doing more’ and it’s back to his old ways. He says I nag (which I admit yes I do) but am I wrong to feel upset for taking on most of the childcare/housework/life admin?
When we have arguments it’s hard to keep my cool, I’m so frustrated through years and years of broken promises of change and him denying any of this is his fault. I feel so aggrieved by this.
I just don’t know how much longer I can cope.
Does anyone having any coping mechanisms? Or anything that worked to try and help your OH understand?
I’m considering going to the doctor for medication as I am really depressed about things, I cancel on friends all the time and avoid going out as much as possible.