Do you have the same dinner and bedtime as your other half?

[lana29]

Sounds a very odd question, I’m Autistic and still use to relationships and what’s normal and may be considered odd. The reason I ask if everyone else goes to bed at same time and also have same meal at dinner/tea is because yesterday my boyfriend said when he comes in from work he’s not really hungry and he’d prefer just to do his own thing, I thought but we’re not in a hotel. But maybe it’s more common? Then at bed time he was saying we don’t need to sleep at the same time. I like cuddling up because the day is hectic so yeah should I be offended or see it as good?

I’m in my 20s he’s late 30s this is both first proper relationship (2 years in)

We’ve been together for 30+ years , in theory we eat together in that it’s cooked for an agreed time but I’ve often started eating before he appears from his office ( WFH) , it’s a rare occasion that we go to bed at the same time .

We usually eat together but never go to bed at the same time, we don't share a bedroom ... I can't imagine wanting to go to bed at the same time as anyone else and I have no wish to ever share a bedroom again If we are on holiday and having to share I find it really irritating to have to synchronise bedtime !

@lana29

He had made the comment that we’re not joined at the hip and I was like! But reading your responses this makes me feel more ok xx

This is makes me think that he's either very independent or aloof and gets claustrophobic easily, or he feels smothered by you in other ways so he's distancing himself.

I really enjoyed shared mealtimes and bedtimes. It's one of the bonuses of being in a relationship.

We do have the same dinners and bed time. My DH is autistic too

We eat at the same time but don't always sit together to eat. We have completely different bedtimes and have separate bedrooms unless we're on holiday. Married for 30 years and it's never been an issue.

We do eat together and we usually start the bedtime routine at the same time but my routine takes longer than his - taking make up off, taking meds, etc. He's gone to bed early tonight as he was out late last night and I'm just having a last cuppa before I go up.

We usually eat together but not always, depends what he is doing usually and what time he gets in. We never go to bed at the same time. He is a lark and has to get up super early for work. I am a night owl. We also sleep in separate rooms anyhow as he snores and I am an insomniac so there would be little benefit going up at the same time.

Sometimes eat together, sometimes not. Very rarely go to bed at the same time.

Always eat together (unless one of us is out) but very rarely go to bed at the same time. DP has terrible insomnia so often will go to bed much earlier after a few bad nights to try and catch up. I have slipped into going to bed much later since WFH.

If we manage to have a day off together we do eat together and go to bed together but it’s not often.

Dh works permanent nights so only gets up at 10 pm so obviously we don’t go to bed together or eat together when he’s working we eat together on his nights off but don’t go to bed together as his body clock is haywire especially on his first night off he either stays up all day after work and crashes out at 8 pm or has a nap then stays up later than me as I have to be up for work the next day

We eat together except when our work hours don’t match up (he does 2 evenings a week). I usually go to bed first; I like to loaf about with a cup of tea and a book for an hour, he likes to get into bed and go to sleep.

We tend to eat together but have separate bedtimes. I need my sleep but DH is a total night owl....