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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

EX-DH DID NOT RETURN DS FOR CHRISTMAS

104 replies

mummyfixit · 26/12/2007 20:06

I have started a new thread following on from my old HELP thread.

My DS was due back to me on CHristmas Eve at 2pm. ExH rings at 1.45pm to tell me he is not bringing him back. No custody order yet in place as have only just left ExH (not a very nice man) but was agreed between our respective solicitors when ExH would return DS to me. ExH will not let me see DS. I have spoken to DS on the telephone (only 3). He has not had his presents. I want to give him a cuddle. Anyone out there with any advice.

I intend to telephone a solicitor tomorrow. Police cannot do anything. very kind but this is a 'civil matter'.

Please help, totally lost without DS.

This was my DS first visit to his father since we split up.

OP posts:
meep · 27/12/2007 09:55

mummyfixit - I'm thinking of you. The main thing that you must do is always to put the best interests of your ds first. If going to your x-dh's house would upset your ds you shouldn't do it - unless you think that he is any danger. The courts make their decisions in these types of cases based on teh best interests of a child - and if you can show that this is your priority then you will have a much easier time. If your x-dh is abusive (emotionally or physically) speak to Women's Aid - they will understand and be able to give advice www.womensaid.org.uk
Wishing you lots of luck

somewisdomneeded · 27/12/2007 13:44

Did you go sols today? Hope your DS is home now.

boredandfat · 27/12/2007 18:04

What happened today mummyfixit?

bossykate · 27/12/2007 18:13

i am very sorry to read this good luck with getting everything sorted out.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 27/12/2007 20:25

Hope it gets sorted for you soon. What an awful situation. The courts will find in your favour and hopefully will have an emergency hearing very soon. Will he let you talk to ds on the phone.?

Original poster
mummyfixit · 28/12/2007 17:10

Went to Court yesterday, was adjourned until today. Went back today and the Judge order my ExH to return DS to me until 5/1/08, then DS will stay with ExH for weekend. I then go back to Court on 7/1/08 for a further hearing. This is the best outcome I can hope for at this stage. If ExH breaches the Court Order and does not return DS to me tomorrow I can then call the Police and they will accompany me to collect my DS. Thank you all very much for your kind help and I will let you know how things go.

OP posts:
goingfor3christmaspuddings · 28/12/2007 17:14

mummyfixit you are very sensible going through the proper channels, hopefully you won't ever have to go through this again.

MerryPIFFLEmas · 28/12/2007 17:20

I am astounded that he has been awarded further visitation by the court when he has already not returned your child once before.
Hope it goes ok, deradful situation xxx

Acinonyx · 28/12/2007 17:25

What a horrible thing to do to someone. at least with a visitation order from the court he can be held accountable. I'm sure you are terribly anxious to see your ds tomorrow - hope it goes well for you.

justabouttosplashoutinthesales · 28/12/2007 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NKF · 28/12/2007 18:40

Well done. For staying calm and making the system work for you. Presumably now if he tries such a stunt again, you can call the police. Enjoy having your son back.

Original poster
mummyfixit · 28/12/2007 18:59

Spot on NKF. Now I have a Court Order if ExH breaches this I can call the Police.

Going to sort out DS presents now that he should have had on Christmas day. Cannot wait to see him.

OP posts:
PontipineFinderGeneral · 28/12/2007 19:00

Also, this is surely going to make it easier for you in court, if you want say to ask for supervised/limited visitation rights?

You now have proof that he is, ahem, a fuckwit.

PontipineFinderGeneral · 28/12/2007 19:02

Apologies, I accidentally used my husband's Mumsnet name, that should have read as a message from justabout. My husband is cooking dinner and not calling anyone a fuckwit!

WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 19:10

Brilliant, mummyfixit, well done you!

Now your ex knows you mean business, and there is a black mark against him already.

With luck, he'll be a good boy twat.

Have a lovely day with your ds tomorrow.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/12/2007 20:42

Excellent mfi

bahKewcHumbug · 28/12/2007 20:49

well done mummyfixit.

callmeoverchristmas · 28/12/2007 20:49

Enjoy your special Christmas day Have been following the thread but did not want to join the "fray" You have done the right thing. Have an early night and before you know it he will be back with you X

Aitch · 28/12/2007 22:43

well done, mummyfixit has fixed it. it's an excellent example to show you wee boy as much as anything else.

Aitch · 28/12/2007 22:44

well done, mummyfixit has fixed it. it's an excellent example to show you wee boy as much as anything else.

Aitch · 28/12/2007 22:44

whoops!

smallwhitecat · 28/12/2007 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

littlelapin · 28/12/2007 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleduck · 28/12/2007 23:29

JUSTABOUT
How sweet that you and your husband both mumsnet. You know - a couple that mumsnets together stays together

edam · 28/12/2007 23:38

Hurrah for mummyfixit! Hope all goes well tomorrow. And that you and ds have a lovely real Christmas together.