She's lied on the divorce papers

[LostDad1]

I have been issued divorce papers this week from my ex wife but the information is not correct. She committed adultery on me in many occasions but has cited 2 year separation which is also not true. The dates she put on do not add up. We briefly split and I went back for 3 months, then she kicked me out again and moved her few bloke in a week later! A few months after that she ended up in mental health care and I moved back to the family home to care for our children and stayed for 8 months. Since the last time I left it's been 14 months.

I queried with her the information and she went mad threatening if I didn't sign then the bailiffs would come and she'd take me for my savings and pension. I don't have any savings.

Also states nothing about a clean break so she could come for things after divorce so I have now got to sort that out to ensure she doesn't come after anything in the future.

Her attitude is awful. I didn't know the divorce papers were coming until she told me this week and it seems she applied for it a few months ago.

Am I right to not sign that this information is correct and that it should be adultery on her part. I don't feel happy signing something legal that isn't true.

Will start the ball rolling Monday with solicitors.

Sorry just ranting!

@sassbott

I also take huge umbrage at a man being told to not make a big deal out of the financials. When time and again women on these boards are emphatically told to ensure they get decent advice and are not taken advantage of financially.

Complete double standards.

He says he has no savings, the FMH was a council house - - - into which the EXW’s new chap has now moved. If her position is she doesn’t want anything from him financially, how difficult is it going to be to resolve the financials, in your imagining?

What MN thread have you ever seen in which a divorcing woman in a no-low asset split is given the advice to make sure she is meticulous over the financial division of not much?

He should be able to get a “clean break” order sorted quite quickly. Instead of which he is obsessing on whether it is slightly less than two years’ worth of separation that has elapsed, and he is indulging in this fixation less than three months before no fault divorce (which isn’t contestable$ comes in.

Which part of this do you think points to the necessity, or even possibility, of a protracted financial negotiation and complicated divorce process?

I think we all have sympathy for how a separation can disorientate you, but most of us are just trying to point out to him the realities and that he is focussing on the wrong aspects. People do that when they’re upset, but he did ask for input.

@AlwaysinaFlap which form are you referring to?

@sassbott

I also take huge umbrage at a man being told to not make a big deal out of the financials. When time and again women on these boards are emphatically told to ensure they get decent advice and are not taken advantage of financially.

Complete double standards.

In my experience, it doesn't tend to be the same people so your accusation of hypocrisy is a bit misplaced.

Women on these boards are frequently told what they are entitled to in divorce I've seen the same people telling women who were the main earner to suck it up because that's how divorce works in England. They're just giving advice based on what will actually happen (and as the courts in England are still too generous to the lower or non-earning spouse in cases with children because the courts don't do enough to distinguish between people who gave up a career, were a dedicated homemaker and deserve a decent share of the marital assets and those who just couldn't be bothered to work and threw a microwavable pizza in front of their kids after school before going back to their mobile phone, it's good advice).

Of course, like on any of these forums, you will get SAHPs with no sense of perspective or real experience of a demanding job who insist their role was the harder one and they deserve to be maintained for life but I've never seen a thread where the worldview of these types aren't shot to pieces quite quickly!

[quote LostDad1]@AlwaysinaFlap which form are you referring to? [/quote]
The one you attached

With question 6

@AlwaysinaFlap it's form b

@AlwaysinaFlap in the guidance document it says if you answer yes you need to send a form b

I'm still confused. There should be a Government number for this like B8. Is this the first document you have had from them? Sorry but your last two posts don't make sense - it's form b but then if you answer yes you have to send a form b?

www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

Honestly. This is why you need to see a solicitor.

I agree. You don't sound very aware of the process.

OP stop trying to get free legal work/advice from women on here and ring a solicitor for an appointment.
You want legal help, find a solicitor and pay for it.

@sassbott

I also take huge umbrage at a man being told to not make a big deal out of the financials. When time and again women on these boards are emphatically told to ensure they get decent advice and are not taken advantage of financially.

Complete double standards.

Also to add if the OP does have a pension and his wife didn’t work (because she was a stay at home parent raising the kids) then she might actually be entitled to some of the pension.

OP - please get some legal advice to a) understand the process and b) to better understand what might be fair bearing in mind that this is the mother of your children.

I’ve been through a horrible divorce and the legal advice helped me to separate my feelings from the legalities of the divorce. My ex also made up lies on the application for divorce; on the advice of my solicitor I just ticked the box that stated I did not agree to the reasons but yes to the divorce. I would also recommend mediation.

Unfortunately divorce is not cheap but if you want to protect yourself and have stability for your future it is worth getting expert legal advice through the process. Sorry if I seem harsh.

For God's sake, this is getting painful to watch. Just pay a bloody professional to give you advice specific to your situation and stop trying to get it sorted on a forum!