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Original poster

This is a red flag isn't it? Constantly criticising my driving

52 replies

hoomans · 11/01/2022 23:02

I've been seeing this man for around two months however it's really starting to get to me that he keeps on criticising my driving every time we go out. He has a licence but no car atm. He keeps saying I drive too slow, he doesn't like how I drive, he doesn't feel safe in the car with me, I drive too 'stiff', I've ended up snapping well just don't get in the fucking car with me anymore then and drive yourself. To my knowledge there is nothing wrong with my driving, no one else has ever commented on it, never had a speeding fine or a red flight ticket. I have driven all over the country to Cornwall, the Lake District, London and I actually like driving. It's knocking my confidence and I feel like binning him off over it, I'm not overreacting am I ?

OP posts:
Pegasussnail · 11/01/2022 23:04

He has an ego problem due to his lack of car.
So you need that negativity this early on ?

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 11/01/2022 23:05

God I’d bin him off for that. In fact I dumped a guy once after a first date for talking me through the gears whilst driving “Into second, now third…….” The whole journey I wanted to lamp him!

Isausernameavailable · 11/01/2022 23:06

Nope, bin him, he pisses you off so no point in being with him. Even if you were a crap driver there would be no need to put you down

2022HowDoYouDo · 11/01/2022 23:11

He's a twat who believes men should always be in control. Big red flag.

Whenever we go out with my inlaws and I drive, my FIL always says "Well done duck" when we arrive where we're going or on return to their house. So patronising, but he's 89 so a different generation, what's your bloke's excuse?

RosiePosieDozy · 11/01/2022 23:13

I would get rid. After just two months, neither of you should be criticising eachother for anything. It should be fun and relaxed. Criticising you is a big red flag and the fact that he criticises you, hears himself and keeps doing it doesn't sit right with me. Surely after one or two criticisms, he would know he should reign it in. He might be doing it to belittle you, he might just not be a very nice person. Get rid.

theNumbersStation · 11/01/2022 23:15

You’ve been with him two minutes.

Imagine a lifetime of having that. Fook that.

Ecoutez et repetez.

Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be single and happy.

Sunnytwobridges · 11/01/2022 23:19

Ugh, I had an ex that was always did this too. I'm a pretty good driver and rather comfortable driving with others but whenever he got in the car with me I would turn into a ball of anxiety. I knew he would say something critical no matter how well I drove, it was definitely a red flag as he became critical about other things too.

LawnFever · 11/01/2022 23:22

God how unattractive & bloody irritating, no this isn’t ok.

Tell him to walk, on his own from now on.

justasking111 · 11/01/2022 23:39

MY OH did this one night I stopped dead told him to get out and walk home. I was sober him drunk and he was still criticising. He just hates being driven but likes a drink.

Up to you OP if you dump him for this

Honey83 · 11/01/2022 23:42

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

God I’d bin him off for that. In fact I dumped a guy once after a first date for talking me through the gears whilst driving “Into second, now third…….” The whole journey I wanted to lamp him!
So funny 😂😂😂
PoshPyjamas · 11/01/2022 23:47

He’s got to go, surely? You are not over reacting!

EarthSight · 12/01/2022 00:20

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

OMG that is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks.

Some men do just think of women as large children. No wonder they're nervous about women driving cards.

Pinkbonbon · 12/01/2022 00:26

More likely nervous because driving a car means you have an easy escape route from them, when they full-scale douchery becomes apparent.

BobbieT1999 · 12/01/2022 00:27

@justasking111

MY OH did this one night I stopped dead told him to get out and walk home. I was sober him drunk and he was still criticising. He just hates being driven but likes a drink.

Up to you OP if you dump him for this

I've done the same! No time for it, they either sit there and shut up or they can find themselves a new gf.

Arrogant w*k*s.

Derelicthome · 12/01/2022 01:32

He wants to drive your car and thinks if he undermines your confidence enough you will give in and let him.

trickytimes · 12/01/2022 06:45

Bin!! Controlling personality

updownroundandround · 12/01/2022 07:05

OP he's a dick.

If he's already trying to 'control' how you drive, after only 2 bloody months of dating, he's either

  1. Jealous of your car and can't cope with the feeling of 'inadequacy'
  2. A control freak, who will only get worse and try to 'dominate' every area of your life if you let him.
  3. A mysoginist, who really doesn't think that a mere woman could ever 'perform' any task as well as a man, and so needs to be 'corrected' and 'instructed' by a man.
  4. A man with very poor mental health, who thinks he needs to 'avert all potential disasters' by micro managing everything, otherwise he'll fall to pieces (and, of course, it'll be your fault for not prioritising his 'mental health' needs over your own ffs !)

And you should not be considering a 'relationship' with any of the above !

End the 'relationship' now, or you will be in for much more grief Sad

Homebaby · 12/01/2022 07:20

I had this with an ex. I drive a hell of a lot including transporting people's large precious animals as part of my job. Nobody had ever criticised my driving. It made me question my capabilities and I'd second guess everything whether he was with me or not. It took me a while to realise that it was because I was good at it, he just liked to put me down. It soon turned to other areas of life.
Wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't banned from driving for multiple offences, couldn't even stay within the law yet he's there criticising me with a, clean licence.
Run op, this man will shatter your confidence

Baddit · 12/01/2022 07:24

Casual misogyny. He wouldn't do it to a bloke. I would find him instantly repulsive anyway with values like that. Bin.

overnightangel · 12/01/2022 07:24

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

God I’d bin him off for that. In fact I dumped a guy once after a first date for talking me through the gears whilst driving “Into second, now third…….” The whole journey I wanted to lamp him!
🤦🏻‍♀️ I’d love to hear more about this date 😆
Original poster
hoomans · 12/01/2022 07:38

Thanks for clarifying exactly what I thought , I fear that this would just be the start of the chipping away at my self esteem.

OP posts:
Ancientdreams · 12/01/2022 07:40

Well if he doesn’t feel safe in your car and he doesn’t drive himself, that’s the end of that!

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 12/01/2022 07:41

If you're dating a man and he starts criticising your anything then you should ditch. This isn't ok.

2DogsOnMySofa · 12/01/2022 07:42

If he's great in all other areas I'm not sure it's a bin-able offence, but it's also a sign that he's a selfish, rude and entitled twat too - which is a bin-able offence.

You're spending your time driving, using you car and petrol, plus acting as an unpaid taxi, the least he could do is be appreciative

GoodnightGrandma · 12/01/2022 07:44

Bin him.
He’ll start having a go about something else next. Life’s too short.