Anyone watching the couples therapy programme on ch4?

[Longcovid21]

Anyone else think Mau is a complete fucking narcisist and therapy with him is completely pointless? Some. Of the things he is saying. Textbook narcisim. The therapist doesn't seem to see it?!?

[RoyKentsChestHair]

I felt it was a power play. That he wasn’t going to sit down like regular people would be expected to, that he could just wander around picking things up and playing with them because he wasn’t held to the same rules as everyone else!

[crochetmonkey74]

Yes I agree and very territorial- they were the therapist's belongings but he was showing he could touch and do whatever he wanted to with them. Any response she has here would feed into his personality type- if she says nothing, he asserts dominance, if she says something - he knows he has bothered her with the behaviour. Awful, Awful man

[HollowTalk]

That's why I thought he was dangerous. The way he spoke confused you - nothing he said actually made sense. It was the way he strolled around her room, touching her possessions, knowing she wouldn't want him to do that - when you link that to his constant need for sex, whether his wife wanted it or not, made me think he could rape someone.

[soyabean]

I have binge watched the whole lot in the last few days and keep thinking about them all. I thought it was very well made although it’s hard to comprehend why anyone (apart from Mau) would put themselves on TV like this.
I thought the developments over time were fascinating and that the therapist was clearly good at her job. Eg Michal and Michael were equally infuriating at first but more understandable by the end.

[HollowTalk]

I imagine they got free therapy.

[ThisWormHasTurned]

I thought there was also an element with Mau wandering round the room where he was challenging Annie, like she wanted him to stop and sit, and he was saying “How are you going to stop me?”

[Hrpuffnstuff1]

Having watched the 2nd series it's quite clear that.
Communication between two people can be fraught with misunderstandings.

Most internet judgments calling people narcs is just bullshit.

[Rummikub]

Watching it in bbc 2 now
It’s mau again

[Echobelly]

@uffizzi

Absolutely agree OP

2 other observations about Mau

When Annie talks in depth about the sexual abuse she has suffered, the therapist then asks Mau what he thinks.
His first response is "I wasn't there to protect her"

So he makes it about HIM again.
After his wife has just talked about the awful things that happened to HER

Second, is him coming to a session and sitting in the therapists chair for a few seconds.
It's a "playful" thing but so telling.
It's pure grandiose narcissist .
It's saying "I know the most". "I am the therapist" and also shows a typical disregard for the accepted rules and norms that narcissists think don't apply to them

Yes, that comment about "protecting her" really stuck out. Like all those men who puff their chest out about 'I'd beat up/kill any guy who hurt my wife/girlfriend/sister' but who does nothing about his own behaviour or that of the men he knows, which is what is much more needed than threats of violence.

[sociallydistained]

Oh it's painful to watch! I have never been in a long term relationship past 4 years and I probably won't ever be because I simply can't imagine getting to this point. I feel so unhappy for these people they would have a new lease of life just leaving and trying to force these relationships, when they will never get their original spark back, makes me depressed :(

[UnicornsReal]

I found this programme fascinating. Watched all the episodes. The therapist is extremely good. Why anyone would want to put themselves through that on national TV I cannot understand. Even if the therapy is free.

[lonelySam]

Sarah & Lauren got divorced in 2021, according to Lauren's instagram. Good for Lauren, Sarah was awful.

[NovemberWedding]

Ah I hoped there would be a thread about this show! I'm just getting to the end of Series 1. Mau is a total puzzle - can you imagine trying to work with him in the room?!

[EdithStourton]

I've been binge-watching, and like PP wondering why on earth anyone would be willing to air all that painful and intimate stuff in public.

Mau and Desean were such polar opposites.

[UniversalAunt]

I found Mau to be infuriating self obsessed & self serving, such an empty man. Yet his wife had bound herself to him, I found it hard to accept that she actually had a child with him. Mau, very clever & adept at shapeshifting to avoid responsibility for his words - so patronising & dismissive of others - & deeds, like a precocious child who cannot afford to up lest they level with their peers who have caught up.

I reeled when his wife said that she would stay with Mau until their child became an adult ready to leave, then she & Mau would part. FFS, leave the whinging manipulative git now! Get your life & sense of self back, for your self & your child. But we know that he won’t let go of her, she will not be free of him.

[BiscuitLover3678]

@lonelySam

Sarah & Lauren got divorced in 2021, according to Lauren's instagram. Good for Lauren, Sarah was awful.

Oh this made me sad! I actually liked them. I really felt for Sarah and can understand her absolute obsession with wanting a child. There were aspects of Lauren that were very dismissive early on (eg that as a breadwinner she should do less housework).

Anyone want to talk about season 2? I found the therapist much more active here and the couples more interesting and likeable.

I agree that Annie and Mau made me feel depressed.

[BiscuitLover3678]

@sociallydistained

Oh it's painful to watch! I have never been in a long term relationship past 4 years and I probably won't ever be because I simply can't imagine getting to this point. I feel so unhappy for these people they would have a new lease of life just leaving and trying to force these relationships, when they will never get their original spark back, makes me depressed :(

This quote needs therapy in itself! 4 years does not mean this will happen.

Having a life partner can be the most wonderful thing.

[Soffit]

Mau is addictive. Absolutely fascinating. I was sad to read that Annie and Mau may actually have been actors scripted in to make it interesting. Nobody IRL in Philadelphia recognized them.

[BiscuitLover3678]

@Soffit

Mau is addictive. Absolutely fascinating. I was sad to read that Annie and Mau may actually have been actors scripted in to make it interesting. Nobody IRL in Philadelphia recognized them.

Where did you read that? That’s a bit freaky!

[Soffit]

Reddit, I think. It does makes more sense than not to be because their individual/joint outlook is almost too surreal to be credible and she seems too 'normal' to have passively endured the freakery and hedonism for decades.

[Soffit]

I only sensed a believable bond in the last episode when they were riding the Subway and he lent her an airpod. It almost communicated a sense of them being a too-groovy twosome who were completely detached from social norms for so long that they honestly had no idea how they would be perceived on TV.

[MightyMoMo]

I believe I read that Annie and Mau are a legitimate couple. They owned a restaurant which closed during the pandemic and there was a news article which verified this.

There was a Reddit account claiming to be Mau saying he and Annie are now getting divorced. Not sure if it truly was him though

[Soffit]

@MightyMoMo

I believe I read that Annie and Mau are a legitimate couple. They owned a restaurant which closed during the pandemic and there was a news article which verified this.

There was a Reddit account claiming to be Mau saying he and Annie are now getting divorced. Not sure if it truly was him though

I'd love to see any links you have. I know I am completely over invested in the relationship of two strangers!

[Appletree21]

Interesting how some of you wonder why anyone would want to be with Mau. I am divorcing someone like him and just never saw it. I am an honest, loyal (and clearly naive) person so when he said he was sorry and he really loved me, I believed him. When he said I misinterpreted what he said about me and it wasn't demeaning, I believed him. (Now I know that's tactic 1. in the narcissist handbook: gaslighting). When he said that really I had said something in the wrong way, or at the wrong moment so it was completely understandable he was angry with me, I did some soul searching and tried finding ways to give him feed back or ask him something at the right moment. After 18 years of marriage I felt like I was walking on egg shells all the time. Now that I know all the strategies he uses they seem laughably simplistic, and I just feel sorry for him. When you are in it, there's so much at stake! Your children (because he will poison them against you), your past history, your own sanity...after all who would want to believe they have been misled and lived a fantasy for 18 years?!

Also narc's choose their victims carefully. They choose loyal, responsible, empathetic people. In week 2 of our relationship my ex got horribly drunk at a party. I drove him home while he puked all over my car. The next day he was on his knees saying how embarrassed he was, and how he had so much work stress etc.

Together we cleaned the car and I believed every word. Now I think...what a great way to test my empathy and capacity to forgive.

That's how you fall for it.

[HollowTalk]

@MightyMoMo

I believe I read that Annie and Mau are a legitimate couple. They owned a restaurant which closed during the pandemic and there was a news article which verified this.

There was a Reddit account claiming to be Mau saying he and Annie are now getting divorced. Not sure if it truly was him though

They are all couples. They're not acting. The therapist is a real therapist as well. Presumably they got free treatment in exchange for being filmed.