I am in the wrong here, I know I am, I'm being unfair but I need a moan.
We have two kids at school, I'm a housewife partly through choice and partly through situation. Husband has a good job, earns enough that we are comfortable. He is senior management (similar to an operations manager). His work has always been different hours because the places are open 24 hours. He also has to work away for a few days here and there around the country. On top of this we have no family able to help with childcare so I don't work at the moment as its easier that way. I worked full time before the kids. Our life and relationship of 20 years was great!!!
Then covid came along. I accepted our new way of life abit like a prison sentence to get through . I was homeschooling the kids and husband was working from home. It was very very hard to get used to and there were alot of tears and arguments along the way. But I was able to cope with it because I knew it wouldn't be forever a d the good weather helped alot.
Time passed and the kids returned to school and husband was given the opportunity to basically do whatever he wanted. His work were not bothered if he went in or not. He goes in occasionally. Over the past month he has been in for one day.
Last night he told me due to omicron he will be working from home permanently for the foreseeable. He has also been applying for other jobs that are totally work from home aswell.
I don't blame him. He loves working from home. He isn't social at all and is very lazy. Now he doesn't have commute, doesn't have to get dressed, doesn't have to move from bed or sofa if he doesn't want to as long as he has his laptop!! Gets all his meals put in front of him.
He suffers from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and has for a long time and can't see the link that he almost never goes outside. The only time I can think of that he's left the house over the past month is for an hour on boxing day. He doesn't step outside. He's like a vampire. But anyway he's loving this new life.
But for me it has completely ruined our relationship. We are together almost 24/7. There is no difference between the weekdays and the weekends. It's groundhog day. We have nothing to say to each other because we are together all the time. We used to go for date nights, all that's stopped because we'd have nothing to say to each other. No time together feels special because we are together all the time. I can't bare it. I feel trapped, monitored, controlled.
He's never been controlling before and there are very subtle things that are driving me mad. He comments on everything I do. If I go out, where am I going, why, how long for? If I sit down for a cuppa after cleaning for hours he will come downstairs at that moment and comment I just sit down all day and he bets that's what I did all day when he was at work.
It is so so tough. The winter makes it worse because we are indoors. During the summer I'm outside gardening etc or we go on days out. At the moment I feel like a servant /cinderella.
It's got to the point where I am completely turned off from him, everything he says annoys me, I don't want sex with him, don't want to be around him. Ive found myself fantasising about me moving away for a life on my own, now or in the future. I've got it into my head as soon as the kids are old enough I'm going to seperate from him to live my own life. I never felt this way before.
And then to top it off, I've said ill go back to work now as he is at home to grab the kids from school and let the dog out for wees etc. He's flatly refused because "he may go back at some point' and" there's no way he's got time to let the dog out/get the kids. ". This is completely not true. He just wants this lazy life to continue!! This would be the answer for me because id feel like I have my own life, money, other adults to speak to. Currently the only time we are apart is if I go to tesco, take the dog out and the school run.
Some people would love to be together all the time but this is no life at all. It's unbearable.