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Original poster

Asking height and weight

116 replies

SandyBut · 05/01/2022 01:44

This just happened to me - not on a trad OLD site. That’s weird isn’t it?

OP posts:
Hrpuffnstuff1 · 05/01/2022 16:49

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@Hrpuffnstuff1 How interesting. What sort of comments?[/quote]
Just asking how I met her, does the height not bother you, she's tall, etc.
I met via tinder, went on a date and she asked me for another, so we dated for a bit. The height never bothered me. Although she put heels on so towered over me when we went clubbing. She did ask me if I would be self-conscious about it, I said no.
Grin
Mrs. HR is 5ft 8, when she wears heels she's significantly taller.
Some women asked about height, I wasn't offended, they were all very polite about it.

eagerlywaitingfor · 05/01/2022 16:54

It's not so much the height question perhaps, but the height/weight combo that doesn't sit particularly well. It gives the impression that they are only interested in someone's physical appearance.

Twolostsoulsswimminginafishbow · 05/01/2022 16:56

People act like this isn’t important when it’s a dealbreaker to most, whether they actually voice it or not is another matter. Most I know won’t date a man who is five foot tall or someone morbidly obese. All I see is he’s not wasting your time or his.

MeSanniesareBrannies · 05/01/2022 16:58

@blacksax 😂

DarkCorner · 05/01/2022 17:01

Height maybe OK but height AND weight? No!!! I'd not want to date someone who asked that. It always put me off if men went on and on about me being slim (I'm less so now!) as it just felt like they were interesting in me just for my body. I had one man (who let's say definitely wasn't ageing well although did go to the gym) how badly women age compared to men Shock!

I had a man ask my height once before meeting and I had an inkling it might be because he wasn't super tall. I'm short myself and it turned out he was 5'5" and wanted to check I wouldn't be disappointed in his height.

SlidingInto2022sDMs · 05/01/2022 17:03

Hmmm it's either height is as personal as weight or not. Seems weight is "personal" because it usually affects women negatively - whether right or wrong. But men should be okay with the height preference and questions. Nah!

I don't see anything wrong with either as long as our society and dating is usually based on physical preference. Better s/he knows and leaves than ghosting after seeing the person and they aren't physically attracted to him/her.

Also depends on how it was asked.

SlidingInto2022sDMs · 05/01/2022 17:05

It's either height is as personal as weight or neither is

What I meant to write.

MeSanniesareBrannies · 05/01/2022 17:06

@Hrpuffnstuff1 I’m not sure why but ‘she’s very tall’ made me laugh, particularly. Like you might not have noticed. 😂

Mr Brannies is 5’9” and a bit and I’m 5’7”. He’s a bit taller than me, but in heels, I tower over him. It’s never been a problem for us, but I have encountered much shorter women than me for whom his height would have been a dealbreaker. I’ve always found that interesting. Like, for some people it’s not even about relative height…you can be 5’2”, meet a lovely chap who is six inches taller and still think he’s too short because he hasn’t hit the fabled 6 foot. Each to their own, but it’s always seemed a bit limiting.

I was just wondering how it worked the other way/what people said to the man.

MeSanniesareBrannies · 05/01/2022 17:07

@SlidingInto2022sDMs

It's either height is as personal as weight or neither is

What I meant to write.

I rather agree with this. And the rest of your previous comment.
Gwenhwyfar · 05/01/2022 17:22

"Dress size would be better though than asking how much you weigh"

What's the difference?

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 05/01/2022 17:28

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@Hrpuffnstuff1 I’m not sure why but ‘she’s very tall’ made me laugh, particularly. Like you might not have noticed. 😂

Mr Brannies is 5’9” and a bit and I’m 5’7”. He’s a bit taller than me, but in heels, I tower over him. It’s never been a problem for us, but I have encountered much shorter women than me for whom his height would have been a dealbreaker. I’ve always found that interesting. Like, for some people it’s not even about relative height…you can be 5’2”, meet a lovely chap who is six inches taller and still think he’s too short because he hasn’t hit the fabled 6 foot. Each to their own, but it’s always seemed a bit limiting.

I was just wondering how it worked the other way/what people said to the man.[/quote]
I had two guys who were sitting near me, start asking me if her height bothered me. I said no, they waffled on about it might bother them, etc.
They ended the convo with a handshake and fair play she's fit mate bollox.

I remember chatting to a woman for ages via the tinder chat, she suddenly asked about my height. I told her the truth, she admitted it was a deal-breaker, she was disappointed I wasn't taller as our chats had chemistry.
One date actually commented when we met in the pub car park, 'Oh you're a shorty. We both laughed.
You cannot change your height as a man.
I'm the shortest in the family, everyone else in 6ft and up.

ProudThrilledHappy · 05/01/2022 17:39

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@Hrpuffnstuff1 I’m not sure why but ‘she’s very tall’ made me laugh, particularly. Like you might not have noticed. 😂

Mr Brannies is 5’9” and a bit and I’m 5’7”. He’s a bit taller than me, but in heels, I tower over him. It’s never been a problem for us, but I have encountered much shorter women than me for whom his height would have been a dealbreaker. I’ve always found that interesting. Like, for some people it’s not even about relative height…you can be 5’2”, meet a lovely chap who is six inches taller and still think he’s too short because he hasn’t hit the fabled 6 foot. Each to their own, but it’s always seemed a bit limiting.

I was just wondering how it worked the other way/what people said to the man.[/quote]
The funny thing is I’m a shorty at 5 foot and have no interest in anyone over 5’8ish as I end up looking like a fat toddler out with my dad. I’ve heard that many men on dating sites exaggerate their height which means they are possible missing out on us eager shorties

BobbieMeserole · 05/01/2022 17:41

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Loads of women asked about my height. Some will only date 6ft plus men.
No issue with height or your post, but had to comment on your name. Bloody hell blast from the past! I've never encountered anyone who has heard of H.R. Pufnstuf outside my family. I still sometimes sing the theme songGrin
GreenClock · 05/01/2022 17:42

I suppose it stops both parties wasting their time in the event that one of them has a specific “type” in mind and the other doesn’t meet it.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 05/01/2022 17:53

@BobbieMeserole
It's funny, I hated that program, witchiepoo scared me half to death.
Now I can see the irony in the program name.

EarthSight · 05/01/2022 17:54

@fallfallfall

Nothing wrong with getting the basics, I’d ask about their teeth, education, religion and vehicle. Why beat around the bush.
Haha. Job and maybe savings too? Important to know that someone is on the same page, financially?
KeepingAnOpenMind · 05/01/2022 17:55

Men generally lie about their height.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 05/01/2022 17:57

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@Hrpuffnstuff1 I’m not sure why but ‘she’s very tall’ made me laugh, particularly. Like you might not have noticed. 😂

Mr Brannies is 5’9” and a bit and I’m 5’7”. He’s a bit taller than me, but in heels, I tower over him. It’s never been a problem for us, but I have encountered much shorter women than me for whom his height would have been a dealbreaker. I’ve always found that interesting. Like, for some people it’s not even about relative height…you can be 5’2”, meet a lovely chap who is six inches taller and still think he’s too short because he hasn’t hit the fabled 6 foot. Each to their own, but it’s always seemed a bit limiting.

I was just wondering how it worked the other way/what people said to the man.[/quote]
I remember being stood outside the bar on the first date, the bar is on a hill, I was facing down, I didn't really notice her height, the slope canceled out the difference. I knew she was taller, she had to lean down a bit for the kiss.
On the second date, the height was more noticeable on level ground.
Grin

Pro-tip, always take a tall woman out for a date on a slope.Xmas Grin

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 05/01/2022 18:02

My friend was on Elite-singles, she went to meet this guy.
I asked her how it went when she came back.

She said.
He has children-I don't like children.
He lives in a terraced house.
She saved the best till last, 'I'm not dating a man who doesn't have a drive, I don't want to park my Range Rover on the street'.
Grin

Elieza · 05/01/2022 18:06

I usually list my height and dress size so nobody’s disappointed if they have a certain idea in mind. I don’t tend to list my weight as I’m quite ashamed of it. Dress size is enough for me!

Some people like thin partners, a bit heavier, really heavy etc. in the same way others like blue eyes , brown eyes, black hair, blonde hair. Whatever.

Ideally I wouldn’t want to date a man that was way thinner than me or way shorter than me. A bit is fine though. I have previously dated said men and I just didn’t like it as much. That’s just my preference and I’m allowed it.
I also don’t like much wider or taller than me.
I basically just want to steal his clothes lol Grin

BobbieMeserole · 05/01/2022 18:09

[quote Hrpuffnstuff1]@BobbieMeserole
It's funny, I hated that program, witchiepoo scared me half to death.
Now I can see the irony in the program name.[/quote]
TBH, all I can really remember from it is the theme song. Didn't get to watch telly except at DGP, so theme songs always made a huge impression on me. Amazing memory has them all stored, but never remembers anything of real useBlush

Apologies for the derail OP. Thanks for the nostalgia Hrpuffnstuff1.

SlidingInto2022sDMs · 05/01/2022 18:13

I assume weight is basically dress size. I know that online, weight is average, slim, athletic, curvy, a few extra pounds, etc that sort of thing. Haven't heard of people/sites asking for specific weight measurements. Height is more specific by cm or feet and inches.

I wouldn't be able to tell exactly what someone would look like based on actual weight measurement. But dress size will give you a fairly good idea.

OnlyAFleshWound · 05/01/2022 18:18

@gunnersgold

I've been married a long time but I can't see a problem with it . I know so many women on fb who do head shots and they are size 26 but have thin faces . I wouldn't want to date someone really overweight and I think it's fine to ask . I wouldn't be offended . I am 5 foot so it would probably put lots of men off that 🤷‍♀️
I know so many women on fb who do head shots and they are size 26 but have thin faces

This is so true. Instagram kept insisting that I knew this person and I was sure I didn't. Suddenly I realised it's a woman from my gym. She's about my age (40s), no more than 5'2, and sturdily built/a bit chubby. Her selfie is taken from high high high up, looking up into the camera, without her glasses on, and she is pretty much unrecognisable, even though i see her regularly.

OutOfSite · 05/01/2022 18:29

I just think it's a shame to immediately discount someone if their height and weight doesn't fit your ideal. I agree that it's probably a good idea to get the details out of the way as soon as possible, but what happened to getting to know someone to see if you actually like them?

Elieza · 05/01/2022 18:30

That’s so true about people looking different in photos. Photoshop and telling lies on dating sites may make you popular.
For about ten seconds until they meet you and find you are the opposite to what you said and therefore wasting your/their time.