Alcoholism question

[BTF21]

I am preparing to leave my partner. I cannot take his drinking anymore. My question is, how can his liver function test results be okay when he drinks so much? I would estimate on average 150 units a week. I have heard a few stories like this where they drink everyday but their liver function levels come back normal. This then makes them think their drinking is fine and they carry on. Does this mean they can drink everyday well into their old age with no consequences?

@Spasiba thank you. I know I need to leave, I just need to wait til I have somewhere to go. I don’t want to leave him though as I do love him. And it’s probably easy to picture it as a terrible relationship but it’s not. We have a normal life in many ways and he’s a lovely guy. It’s hard to explain but it’s not massively impacting our life. He still works full time and he’s kind to me and loving and we do normal things. But when I look forward I know it’s not a life I can live long term as, even though he has made changes for the better, he definitely drinks too much still.

OP, you need to leave, to save yourself.

We recently lost a male relative, age 41, due to alcoholic heart failure.

His alcoholism had been triggered by a number of genuinely traumatic events we think, but had been ongoing for about 15 years. He was largely estranged from his DC, couldn't hold down a job, and was very unwell at the end. He was diagnosed with liver problems about 10 years ago, and heart problems more recently.

He had a very supportive and loving family overall (despite them socialising a lot with alcohol unfortunately) and they supported him through a couple of residential rehab attempts, and other treatment.

But his first love, in the end, was alcohol. Whilst there had been traumatic events in the past, there were also a number of occasions when he could clearly have 'turned things around', but he did not, very sadly.

Now he has died, we feel relief. Our grief for him was experienced while he was alive, and now we grieve for the lost opportunities that he could have had. But we also feel relief - that there will be no more calls that he's gone missing, or been picked up somewhere, or has had another health scare, or that he rings us in a state himself. Or indeed that he lets his DC down again.

It's tragic overall. It's monumentally difficult even when the will to change is there.

Save yourself, please - do your grieving for the lost opportunities (yours and his), and then look forward to the next chapter of your life. Your DP may be reasonably functional, but this is no life for you.

I was married to an alcoholic for 5 years. It damages more than the liver.
His stomach lining and digestive system were shot due to the alcohol.
It can also cause brain damage and damage the kidneys.
My ex died a couple of years after I left him.
Alcoholics can only help themselves and they have to want to do it for themselves.
I felt so worn down by his nastiness when he was drunk, how petty and selfish it made him. He was offered loads of help but wouldn’t accept any or do anything.
When it’s time to walk away, it’s time to walk away.

@Suzanne999 sorry to hear that. If my partner was nasty or treated me terribly then it would be so much easier to walk way. I could justify it more to myself. He is never nasty or a us or or violent. Alongside my worries for his health it’s little things like he’s distant sometimes and I know he’s craving a drink. At weekends I feel sick when I hear a can or bottle being opened for the 4th 5th 6th …time. But he's still fully functioning. He doesn’t stay up drinking. We go to bed during the week at say 10pm, 11pm. He gets up for work 5 days a week. But I know the amount he drinks (mostly at weekends) is not normal. And prior to meeting me he was drinking a lot more so I worry what damage he has already done before I came along.

Edit - *he is never nasty, abusive or violent