Sulking BF.. Was I wrong to tell the truth?

[Imjustdone]

My BF of 5 years asked me last night "when was the happiest you've ever been" my reply was "when I left my ex"

Now he's completely turned it around and stopped off home because I told him I was happiest on my own and not with him.. Not really what I said.

When I tried to explain why he didnt want to listen spent all of yesterday in a strop then got up and went home a little while ago..

I wish I would have just said "when I met you babe".. I've had 33 years of my life before him is it wrong that the happiest I was was when I left a awful controlling relationship and finally had my own place and freedom and peace?

He sounds very boring. Life is too short for that.

You have done nothing wrong.

He was fishing for an ego boost and didn’t get one.

Also, sulking is for toddlers.

Well he has a point. I adored being single after dumping a similar exH, but the happiest I've ever been have been since I met DH.

If he doesn't make you happier than when you were single, why are you with him?

Leave him to it. Sulkers want people to run after them and talk them round. Don't reward his stupid behaviour with attention.

I guess he was hoping he might have been part of your happier time. You've told the truth but sometimes we all need our egos massaging a little.

I couldn't capitulate to someone as needy and precious as him and I'd tell him to grow up and stop behaving like some love sick teenager.

If you left an abusive relationship I can imagine why that feeling of freedom and accomplishment is the best you've ever felt.

@Treacletoots what led to the conversation was me saying that I was happier than I had been in a long time.

He does make me happy and I want to be and stay with him but that doesn't take away from the fact that the happiest time of my life was before I met him..

The lesson for him is not to ask questions that he might not want the answer to!

Only you know whether his reaction to this is typical of how he reacts to anything you say which he doesn’t like. If it’s typical, then this doesn’t sound like much of a relationship. If it’s a one off, then perhaps something to be learned here about when a white lie can be better than the truth? If you’d asked him the same question and he’d said “when my mates and I were on our big boys’ holiday in Prague the other year”, would you have been happy with that answer, or a bit upset?

Hugely disproportionate sulk.

Bridling a bit and making the face? Sure, he was fishing for an ego boost and didn't get one, but I think we'd permit ourselves a little pout in that situation.

Stropping off home and then sulking for a whole day? Come the fuck on, he's being a baby. Is he always like this?

If you were happier without him, why are with him?

Q When were you happiest?
A Before I met you.

Cue sulk.

@madisonbridges

If you were happier without him, why are with him?

She hasn't said she was happier single. She's said the happiest she's ever felt was when she left an abusive relationship.

Sulking is part of coercive and controlling behaviour. Have you done the Freedom Programme? Worth doing (even again) .

He sounds very needy, what a weird thing to go off in an actual sulk about.

Oh he does sound boring and needy! I agree with pp that he was fishing for an ego boost and you didn't give the 'right' answer - but that's just tough.

It's very unattractive to sulk like a baby. And for a whole day??? He needs to grow up.

I think I’d be telling him that when he asked the question, you weren’t aware that there was a correct answer. He might have made you happier, but the jump from being miserable to free was more marked. He needs to stop being so insecure as his reaction is pretty ridiculous.

It sounds very immature and selfish of him to sulk for a whole day simply because you gave an unexpected answer when he was 'fishing' for a compliment ffs !

I'd actually be thinking it's the first time he's shown you his true nature perhaps ?

Think long and hard about continuing a relationship with a man in his 30's who cannot articulate his feelings, and 'gets his own back' by ignoring you then leaving your house with the 'issue' totally unresolved and no doubt 'expecting' you to chase him and expecting you to give him an 'apology'

The 'correct' way to deal with it would have been him saying 'Oh, that's not what I was expecting/hoping for. I think my happiest day has been.................but I'll be trying hard to make sure your new/next happiest day is with me '

But trying to 'punish' you and withdrawing communication and affection is seriously fucked up.

At least when you dump him you can say "ah - you're finally part of my happiest ever day"

My ex was a sulker, it got tedious very quickly and made it really hard to talk about stuff. I agree with a poster who said don't ask questions you might not like the answer to!

@girlmom21

At least when you dump him you can say "ah - you're finally part of my happiest ever day"

So he won't actually listen to your explanation of why that was the happiest you've ever felt? That's because he doesn't want an explanation, he wants a stick to beat you with and he's just found one.

He sounds emotionally abusive too. No wonder your happiest time was when you were single.