My boyfriend is well and truly done with his ex. As in he doesn't want her back. It's been 2 years and exactly 10 months they separated. He's explained their relationship and it all adds up to why they didn't work and couldn't work. They were a bad match in terms of what they wanted from life. But trust seems to have been a massive issue for them both from the start.
He had some therapy at the beginning of the split. Because mentally he was in a mess. But I've realised lately he's still processing the relationship. Not in a way to go back. But he keeps spitting memories out at me. Mostly negative. Most days. In the tiniest ways. We've been a couple for a year and the first 6 months were getting to know one another.
I have spoken to friends about his constant mentioning and they have said that it's like he's over her and doesn't want the relationship but can't let go of the hurt around the way they treated eachother.
Yesterday we were talking and when said you should never take one another for granted. He explained with examples of his ex where they took one another for granted. Then he said he believes everyone deserves a chance. We all make mistakes. He then said he couldn't sit there and say that if one of us cheated on the other we'd never go back together. I sat and thought about the comment. Then he picked up on my quietness. I explained to him that the conversation we'd just had felt strange. I told him I didn't like it. I then said we are not those sorts of people are we? He said no not at all. You don't think I'd cheat Do you? I said I hoped he'd leave me if he found himself getting to know someone else.
Anyway him and his ex had alot of suspicion around eachothers phones and in the last year they were both guilty of texting other people. All very childish.
I love him so much. I'm trying to be patient as I know he was very unwell in the year before I met him. But I feel like I don't know if or when this will stop. Other than steering him off subject and continuing to show him support and love so eventually he sees I'm not going to hurt him. But his words and random thoughts are making me up and down with not knowing if he's ever going to settle and also how much of his thoughts are about me and not about the feelings surrounding his ex.
I understand people will say dump. Run. But is there any experiences of this. He is an overall nice person he just needs to shift his thoughts away from the past and he's clearly struggling with this. Any one have any experience?