I am a woman 28 yrs old and basically I have no friends. I have an acquaintance, someone I meet up with a couple of times a year just for the sake of having company but we have nothing in common and it always feels forced, they themselves have other friend groups and don't rely on me for company.
In school I was shy and quiet and bullied/picked on quite a bit. Sometimes I tagged onto tables at with lunch and sat with a couple of people but I had no friends. I've been to college and had a few jobs but still no real friends.
Social media can be upsetting seeing people post pictures/statuses with friends etc and highlights the loneliness but I feel I can't delete it because then I would have hardly any interaction.
It's not just the not going out and socialising, it's quite isolating not having anyone to text or have a chat on the phone with. The only person I speak to on the phone is my mum. I was close with my sister but she's now moved abroad.
I just don't understand why I haven't been able to make and keep friends. When I meet new people i.e. college or work I always try striking up conversations and make myself open to getting to know people. I think i'd be a pretty good friend, in the past I've always went above and beyond for people to try and build friendships, helping them out/listening to them and being supportive etc but people end up using me when they're bored and eventually I'm forgotten about when they're busy with their real friends.
A few years ago I tried to make friends with a work colleague, we were similar in age etc but it quickly became clear we were on different wavelengths and it was just being forced. I don't want to feel like I have to force myself to try and get on with someone when it's just not there. I want a true equal friendship, someone who wants to be my friend and I actually have some importance in their life.
I've tried googling things like how to make friends etc and it always says join a club for a hobby that you like etc but I don't really have any hobbies. I don't like sports or arts or anything, there are plenty of people who have friends without feeling like they need to be forced into an activity just to try and form some connection. That being said I did join my local book club as I like reading but everyone else in the group were women aged 60+ and as I'm in my late twenties I just felt out of place.
I feel like no one understands how lonely this can be sometimes. Surely there must be other people like me..