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Original poster

Teenage daughter, partner and I all positive. Daughters attitude

68 replies

bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:07

The three of us are positive. We spent days together over last week.partner got positive test this morning, my daughter andyesterday evening. Partner doesn't live with us.
Teenage daughter is being so rude and disrespectful to me.she is browned off about missing her friends and social life. I get that. She has told me that she is sick of me and wants her space. I get that too. It has been claustrophobic over the holidays and we were looking forward to our space.
My partner is also positive and is going to isolate with us. We had planned to spend this weekend together.
My daughter refused to go to her Dads, spends the majority of her free time in her room and is now being really rude and disrespectful towards me.
I've just told her that my partner will also be isolating here and she is not happy.
She texts me when she wants something delivered to her room but other than that I'm told to keep away.
I'm sick of her treatment of me despite understanding why she is so off but is she being reasonable about my partner staying ?
She won't engage with me anyway, just here to serve her basically. She isn't actively sick so she just chats to her friends all day on line.
Is she being fair or am I being unfair ?

OP posts:
CantBeAssed · 31/12/2021 11:12

If the three of you are positive there is no reason why she can't cater for herself!
I feel for you, I have a teenager and whilst she gives me no bother the laziness is hanging out of her!
Your dd is being unfair, but sadly in the teenage world everything is about them!
Thanks for the opportunity to rantGrin

Theunamedcat · 31/12/2021 11:12

Have you ever told her no? Seriously if my daughter text me demanding I deliver something to her door my reply would be no

Ignore the rudeness stick to your own routine if your still cooking for her tell her food is ready any demands for delivery would be met with how much are you paying for this delivery? what did your last slave die of? or a simple no get it yourself

Stiffcondomhat · 31/12/2021 11:12

Her rudeness is unacceptable but I can understand her being pissed off your partner is staying. Its your house at the end of the day though.

Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:13

Thanks. She is so rude lately. She is like a different person.
Why would you understand her being pissed off with partner staying can I ask?

OP posts:
Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:15

I spend my evenings on my own while she stays in her room and disengages from me. I'm lonely and also pissed off with this fiasco.
Surely with us all being positive, it's miserable as it is, the company would make things easier?

OP posts:
trumpisagit · 31/12/2021 11:16

Does she actively dislike your partner?
On the face of it you are not being unreasonable, but is there more to it from her perspective?
If she dislikes him she shouldn't have to spend the whole festive season with him.

NynaeveSedai · 31/12/2021 11:16

Ten days of mum's boyfriend in the home when he doesn't usually live there and she can't go out anywhere? Of course most teenagers wouldn't be thrilled about that.
Is your partner staying with you already? If not he should be staying where he is not travelling to you.

StillWalking · 31/12/2021 11:16

This is not about fairness. Covid has been "unfair" to many, many people one way or another!!! Stop waiting on her! If she's well enough to get to the kitchen she can fetch her own food. She couldn't go to her dad's anyway, could she? She has to stay home for a week .... (or have I not understood the rules correctly?).

SirChenjins · 31/12/2021 11:18

I certainly wouldn’t be delivering anything to her room but I can understand that she’s completely pissed off with missing her friends and social life while you’re effectively getting a big chunk of your social life to move in with you - and she’s taking that frustration out on you.

Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:18

They get on really well! Probably better than we do presently. She won't bother to come out of her room though so it's not him per se.it's me.
She likes to control things at home but that's a whole other thread.
Likes peace and quiet and to be left sleep and left alone.
She is highly irritable at the moment but who isn't ?

OP posts:
Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:20

My other kids have gone to their dads. She won't go.
My partner lives alone so he will
Leave when my kids get back after weekend and go straight to his own home.

OP posts:
Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:21

It seems she doesn't want my company or anything to do with me at the moment but doesn't want me to have company either.Does that make sense ?

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 31/12/2021 11:22

@bringbackvinyl

It seems she doesn't want my company or anything to do with me at the moment but doesn't want me to have company either.Does that make sense ?
From a teenage mindset? Yes, absolutely!
Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:23

Ok great! I needed to read these responses.it's like she is a different person these last few weeks.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/12/2021 11:24

How old is she?

Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:24

17

OP posts:
LampLighter414 · 31/12/2021 11:27

Why are you pushing her to go to her Dads when she's tested positive for covid? Do you want her to spread it to other family members and potentially vulnerable people?

Were your other children covid positive before they went off to their dads?

How old is she? 14 is v. different to say a 19 year old adult.

Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:36

Sorry. I should clarify she was due to go to dadsthree days ago but wouldn't go. I'm not pushing her to go to dads. I was giving context.she was meant to be there for this period. Now that she isn't, she is simply ignoring me unless I am of service but still dormant want my partner here as was planned all along.
Do I give in to her wishes is my question.

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 31/12/2021 11:37

I can see why she’s annoyed. From her point of view she’s positive and can’t see anybody she wants to. You’re positive and get to have your boyfriend come and isolate with you. It also sends a message that you’d rather not isolate with her alone and that you need your partner there to make the isolation bearable. You’ve already tried to get her to go to her Dads and now that hasn’t worked you’re pushing her out by inviting your partner there to break up the isolation.

2pinkginsplease · 31/12/2021 11:37

She shouldn’t be going t9 her dads if she has tested positive and I don’t think a 17yr old me would be too impressed with mums boyfriend staying over throughout isolation when he has his own home.

My 18 and 20yr olds spend most of their time in their rooms, not socialising with us most nights, we see them when they want food.

These past 2 years have been hard on everyone but I especially feel sorry for the teens, life has be pretty stale with isolation, lockdowns, masks etc. give her some slack and pick your battles,

Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:38

To clarify @MolkosTeenageAngst, my last
Post explains the actual facts which I didn't
Make clear originally.

OP posts:
Original poster
bringbackvinyl · 31/12/2021 11:39

@2pinkginsplease thanks for your thoughts.

OP posts:
SarahJessicaParker1 · 31/12/2021 11:41

She's being really rude!

I was thinking maybe she was pissed off that your partner is coming over to isolate, which I actually could understand. I wouldn't want "extra" people who I'm not related to or close to moving in with me when I was sick either.

But she was being rude before you said he was coming and her ignoring you is why you're lonely and wanted to invite him. So I definitely sympathise with that less, especially since she and he get on well.

I would ignore her demands. Leave your phone somewhere and don't respond to her unless she asks like a civilised human being

FrenchyQ · 31/12/2021 11:43

I wouldn't be waiting on her, she's 17 not 7!.

tribpot · 31/12/2021 11:44

I don't think your last post changes anything that @MolkosTeenageAngst had written. Fact is, she has to isolate from all her friends but you can have your boyfriend over. That, I'm sure, is the height of unfairness to a teen. She may also blame him for the fact both of you are positive (not saying he is the reason, but that doesn't seem like too much of a leap for a disgruntled teen to make!)

Unless she's actually ill, I wouldn't be tolerating this level of back chat. However, I would let her have her huff in peace, it's a crap situation.

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