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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DSis changing plans to suit ILs and not family AIBU?

3 replies

TVTestCard · 29/12/2021 11:33

Last month we arranged for me to take DM and stay at DSis’s for her DD’s birthday in February. ILs were going to stay the weekend after. Now she says can we come the following weekend as her ILs are now free for the birthday weekend and will be coming instead. We can’t all stay at once because there isn’t room. I will have to change my work to change the weekends, it’s not impossible but it is a bit annoying.

I wouldn’t mind really but this happens a lot. She’ll make a plan with either me or DM and then he says his ILs want to do X and we have to rearrange. I thought maybe she would rather spend time with ILs instead of us, but why make plans with us in the first place if she doesn’t want to see us? It is usually her planning stuff, I’m quite disorganised. Or does she not want to say no to her DH? AIBU to be annoyed? DP thinks I just get irritated as it’s my DSis and we sometimes have silly arguments.

OP posts:
CovidCorvid · 29/12/2021 11:36

Just say no you can’t swap.

Freezingmyarseoff · 29/12/2021 11:38

DSis is saying she’d rather spend time with her ILs than you and your DM, especially if she often re prioritises initial plans. If you often end up accommodating her change of plans then she’ll probably take that into account & chop & change knowing you’ll work round her. Say no you can’t change plans.

Bushkin · 29/12/2021 11:39

Say no, if she cancels on you anyway then don’t bother again. She’s making it very clear where her priorities lie

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