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Original poster

Weird text from ex

51 replies

RedCandyApple · 25/12/2021 23:10

I’m not in contact with my ex, we have children but he doesn’t bother with them. I’ve always felt he was more interested in me than them, as we are not in a relationship he doesn’t bother with them and only seemed to want to see them if he could see me, when he couldn’t he wouldn’t see them. Anyway today he text me saying “merry Christmas to you and the kids, I love you lots” am I being paranoid or is this a weird thing to send an ex? Especially one you don’t have any contact with and don’t bother with your children, am I reading too much into it? Family always use to make out It was in my head that he’s more interested in me so no it doesn’t matter because he’s an ex but it would be nice to know if it’s weird or not.

OP posts:
hashbrownsandwich · 25/12/2021 23:11

He's probably had a few sherbets.

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 25/12/2021 23:12

Probably is that! Though it was only 3 o’clock he texted but who knows 🤦🏻

OP posts:
TinyTimTim · 25/12/2021 23:14

He's beery.

rattlemehearties · 25/12/2021 23:15

Definitely drunk! No need to overthink hopefully you just ignored

Redshoeblueshoe · 25/12/2021 23:17

I'm going to be blunt - he wants a shag.

Ohyesiam · 25/12/2021 23:19

What are you reading into it? He’s probably pissed

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 25/12/2021 23:23

Sending an ex I love you lots? Maybe I am over thinking it, it’s not something I would ever send 😕

OP posts:
Babyfg · 26/12/2021 00:03

My friend sounds like you. Her ex fella only bothered with the kids if he could see her, she'd really analyse everything and made big statements like he just can't get over her and no matter what happens he always ends up back at hers sooner or later so he must be pining over her.

No matter what you said to her she wouldn't take it that he was only after a quickie. She really believed he had some unrequited love her.

He's now married someone and started a new family and she doesn't hear from him and he still doesn't bother with the kids.

I don't mean it horribly as some men really get into your head (I'm currently dealing with a with one for different reasons 🤬). They know exactly the buttons to push and how to sow the seeds. If he loved you you wouldn't be raising kids by yourself. In The middle of things it's really hard to have an unbalanced view. If it's not about the kids wouldn't respond to anything from now and not give him anymore mental space, look after yourself.

user1481840227 · 26/12/2021 00:03

Of course it's weird.
He's clearly a waste of space who isn't really capable of real love if he's not bothered with his children so the message was pretty meaningless though!

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 26/12/2021 00:05

I don’t think he does love me, I just don’t get why you would send that to an ex 🤷‍♀️ Seems I’m alone in thinking it’s weird so maybe it’s a normal thing to send someone you don’t see or speak to

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 26/12/2021 00:13

Don’t waste head space trying to analyse it.

He’s a deadbeat dad. It’s Christmas and the media is full of happy families and dad’s who aren’t as crap as he is. He’s been drinking and it’s made him sentimental.

He’ll get over it as soon as the hangover kicks in.

SocialConnection · 26/12/2021 00:22

'Hello, its XXX.
I think you intended that text for someone else.
Please don't do that again.'

MMmomDD · 26/12/2021 01:23

It’s Xmas and time when people get sentimental. Especially with lots of food and drink.
It reads like he means collective ‘you’ here - meaning both you and the kids.

I’d not read too much into it.

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 26/12/2021 01:32

Yes I think he means me and the kids as well but not sure why he’s including me in it... I will forget about it, wasn’t going to respond anyway

OP posts:
Josette77 · 26/12/2021 01:58

I think he just meant it for the kids.

AgentJohnson · 26/12/2021 05:34

Come on OP, you know why he sent it and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or his children. It was him either feeling sorry for himself or an attempt to reel you back in to (temporarily) stroke his ego.

The strange thing is not him sending the message but you giving it so much headspace. Be honest, is there some part of you hoping that this leopard has changed its spots?

Ignore and block.

Mystical79 · 26/12/2021 09:17

Starting a thread means you’re bothered about this probably because you still have feelings. Otherwise you would just think get lost deadbeat dad. I would have zero respect for such a useless dad and wouldn’t care what he sent me or think about it at all.
Think about him abandoning your kids.

Didimum · 26/12/2021 09:42

I suspect you’re posting this because you want people to tell you he still has feelings for you. Maybe because you’re feeling a little lonely at Christmas, maybe because you have feeling ms for him. Who knows. I don’t believe for a second you’ve never encountered the very common behaviour of people (pissed at Christmas no less) texting their exes. On the off chance your bewilderment is genuine, it will be for one of the following reasons:

  1. He’s feeling sorry or himself and looking for validation or attention.
  2. He enjoys teasing you for amusement.
  3. He’s feeling sentimental, had an epiphany about how crap a dad he is and sending it in good nature.
  4. He has feelings for you.

Pick one. Who knows the real answer. Either way, texting the ex is tale as old as time.

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 26/12/2021 11:01

No I don’t still have feelings for him... I didn’t realise it was normal to send a text to your ex saying I love you lots, whether that meant me and the kids or not, it’s not something I would do, I would say “I love them” or “let them know I love them” but it seems it’s normal to send this to an ex, I don’t think he was pissed it was sent a 3pm.

OP posts:
IamGusFring · 26/12/2021 11:04

It sounds like you want him to mean it ? Do you ?

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 26/12/2021 11:05

No I don’t want him to mean it, we’ve been split a long time, I think he does stuff like this to wind me up, but it seems it’s normal and no one would bat an eye lid at an ex sending this so 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/12/2021 11:24

Nobody is saying it's normal as in it's sensible and nice. They're saying it's normal as in it's normal for a bloke who is a dickhead to send messages to an ex trying to reel them back in / get attention / get a shag / because they're pissed etc.

What's not normal is giving it much headspace. Most people would just think ugh what a prick sending a text when he has no interest in being a decent dad and was a shit partner. Then they'd forget about it.

There must be some unresolved feelings or something for you to be analysing it this much?

Original poster
RedCandyApple · 26/12/2021 11:43

No feelings at all like I said I think it does it to wind me up, he would only ever see the kids if it was at my house, if I wouldn’t let him he wouldn’t see them, if I went in my room and stayed there whilst he was here so he could have time with them alone he wouldn’t come, I’ve asked him not to text me if he is not interested In seeing them but I had a birthday text from him on my birthday and now this text, I asked if it was a weird message that’s all.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/12/2021 11:47

It's normal for a long term dickhead to continue being a dickhead, yes.

Madge55 · 26/12/2021 20:21

Yes it's a weird message. My first thought was, did he mean it for someone else. Second thought he might be trying to mess with your head, because that what Aholes do. My ex did this after we split up, while going out with the woman he left me for. I just ignored them, I realized that I would never figure him out, so why try to.

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