Struggling now he’s moved on

[Sweetielou]

My husband and I separated in may , I asked him to go because I could not cope with him . He was an alcoholic and suffered with mental health and was also cutting his self (my life was so hard ) moving on he had been messaging me every day for 7 months begging me to take him back , only 3 weeks ago saying he loves me so much .

He went back on Facebook in September and it did bother me a bit because of what happened before (another story) . Any way he’s now met someone else and now telling me we were never good together and he just wants us to be friends. I don’t want to be with him but the thought of him with someone hurts a bit . He’s not drinking anymore and seems like his life is brilliant while I’m struggling x

He's following the script:

Behave badly
Cry when dumped
Beg, plead and cry some more
Find someone else
Rewrite history
Massive improvement
Can't keep up the new persona
Behave badly
Cry when dumped
And so on

Be glad you are out of that circle of hell.

Exactly what @HollowTalk said!!

OP the fact that "it seems like his life is brilliant" is the Facebook facade. Remind yourself of how you felt when you were together and the reason you left.

I doubt his life is that great. He just wants you to think that.

His life definitely isn’t great. Don’t let that facade fool you.

Thank you for your replies, it really does help

So I posted on here last week about my struggles with him moving on . He texted me last night to say I’ve been slagging him off and I’m out of order .
I haven’t been slagging him off and he has no friends to tell him even if I did . He’s texted me about 20 times today and threatened to come round the house if I don’t reply. He’s just messaged me again to say I’m obviously not struggling anymore but don’t ignore him.
I actually feel a bit better and went out Saturday night and had a really good night .
Should I reply or just ignore him ?

Ignore, ignore, ignore!x

I am trying but worried he might come round , he’s just messaged me again to say I’m winding him up .

Call the police.

He's obviously unstable. Hasn't he got anything else to do apart from sit and send you texts all day? Have you got anyone who could come and sit with you just in case he turns up? Otherwise make sure the house is locked up, and call the police if he arrives.

To be honest if he was slagging me off I really wouldn’t care , I’m 52 years old so it would go over my head. He’s moved on and met someone else so why be so bothered anyway even if I was slagging him off .

Im torn between saying ignore, or if youre worried he's dangerous text and say "any more threats and I will let the police know. Please leave me alone."

Sounds to me like neither of you have let go yet - you’re stressing about him apparently meeting someone, he’s now trying to provoke some drama.

Best response would be to block him unless you want to engage with his drama.

Maybe your right and we still haven’t quite let go yet , so hard after 25 years together even though life with him was unbearable at times . Thankfully he didn’t come round the house in the end.

I bet he is still drinking
I split up with mine due to the drink too
They can't just decide to stop when they are that far down the road no matter how much they lie and deny
Just ignore him
If he tries anything call the police
It's also natural to be a bit hurt when they move on no matter what the circumstances

He probably is drinking or will start again at some point , I just wish I could get him out of my head lol x

Let him get on with it ,it's the script.
For what it's worth I've been dealing with the script for over a year now, it has got better but you need to grey rock and just ignore. He's trying to get a rise out of you to prove his point that you are the psycho ex he's been telling everyone you are. Ignore ignore ignore, although easier said than done I know but his bullshit will start to unravel soon and people will see its him and not you. He can't and won't keep this up forever the mask will slip soon.

@HollowTalk

He's following the script:

Behave badly
Cry when dumped
Beg, plead and cry some more
Find someone else
Rewrite history
Massive improvement
Can't keep up the new persona
Behave badly
Cry when dumped
And so on

Be glad you are out of that circle of hell.

Great post.

OP, focus on yourself growing strong.

Leave him to his drama.

Thank you for all your replies, I keep telling myself I’ve got this!!! . He broke me when I had to put up with his shit for years and I’m not going to let him do it to me again now we’re not together 🙄

Yes, it sure sounds like he’s doing great 🙄 Sure if his life was so brilliant now he wouldn’t be wasting his time messaging you with ridiculous accusations. He wants a reason to keep in contact with you. Ignore him and like others have said, if he keeps up let him know you’ll be contacting the police.
He isn’t doing brilliantly… he’s likely still drinking. What people post on Facebook is often a rose tinted snapshot of their lives.

So a quick update, up until a few weeks ago he was having the dog now and again at his parents. He messaged me a few days ago to see if he can have her Boxing Day , I said no not Boxing Day but he could have her from the Wednesday. He said he was coming Boxing Day and having her regardless and I can call the police but he’s having her . He then went on to say I’m fucked up in the head and spiteful. Any way after that shit from him I’ve now blocked his number, so he’s shot himself in the foot now .

I don't know where you stand legally when it comes to dogs
Is it your info on the microchip ?

I went on holiday to Greece and she was a stray around the hotel I stayed at . When I came back from holiday I see she was on Zante strays and adopted her . All her paper work is in my name . I’ve not said he can never see her but I can not keep having contact over the dog while I’m feeling a bit run down as need to get myself back up and move on from my marriage

So, she’s your dog. He can’t take her. Keep him blocked and if he comes round to yours CALL
THE POLICE.