I have to say it somewhere… I HATE HER ARGHHHHH

[Aaa456789]

Does anyone else have a MIL who has to much to say. Thinks she knows it all, but doesn’t realise how ridiculous she looks wile spouting all wrong information?

I can’t say it to anyone in RL, I visit as less as I can but yet she still infuriates me the sh*t she comes out with!!

Is this a normal MIL issue? Are they all the same?

How will I survive 🤣

[Camembear]

My MIL is great!

[wantanotherdog]

I absolutely loved my mother in law. She was kind, helpful and never interfered. She and my equally lovely father in law used to visit us for 2 and 3 weeks at a time when we lived overseas and it was never too long. I have a lovely son in law and a wonderful daughter in law. Perhaps I've just been very blessed.....

[Dentistlakes]

My MIL is amazing. Of course she occasionally says or does something to annoy me (and vice versa), but i cut her some slack and don’t hold it against her. So no, not all MILs are the same, but you only hear about the bad ones.

[Truffled]

You might be a MIL one day so if THEY are all the same - you’ll be a pain in the arse too!
For the balance my MIL is fantastic!

[DarlingFell]

My MIL is wonderful, kind and great company. She does like to tell us that her way is best, but she's been there, done that, so I respect her and listen to her. I do things my way in the end, but that's not the point, she just wants to be listened to, to count. She brought up her son, my DH to be the most incredible man and DH, so I have a lot to thank her for.

I often think on MN that DILs don't cut their MILs any slack whatsoever. try to think how you would react if your OWN mother did the things you bitch about. I bet you would let most of your complaints slide, but on MN, even the slightest little thing that an MIL does wrong is seen as some heinous crime

[oakleaffy]

@ginslinger

I have a great relationship with my MIL - we both love her son and we are both good at compromising

Compromise and the emotional maturity to see the other person's point of view.

[Anon0707]

@Phrenologistsfinger are we sisters? Do we share the same mother….you’ve just typed my mum up to a T. Hard work isn’t it. Even 11 months after not speaking she is still spouting the same old lies to anyone who will listen.
OP I don’t think it is a MIL thing, I just think some humans behave this way and there’s very little we can do about it

[Thursa]

I haven’t spoken to my mil in about 15 years.

[Landlubber2019]

I think my mil is fabulous and I love her to bits ❤️

[Gonnagetgoing]

I've never been a DIL (never been married) but have had experiences of being a DIL-in-waiting when engaged, or knowing boyfriend's mums and also of my own DM being a DIL.

I think the best thing for people to do is to agree to disagree. Some people will get on fine with MIL/DIL. Others won't, there may be a degree of narcissistic/other not nice behaviour on both sides with the DS/SIL sometimes not making matters better or enabling behaviour.

The one thing I would say is they are all people, with feelings, hopes and dreams etc. In a lot of situations there's also a generational gap.

I recall DM with her third MIL, it only got better once they both got to know each other (hard with MIL living in Ireland and stepdad visiting once/twice a year without the family apart from on rare occasions bringing them over). One time I recall we (me, DM, stepdad) went to Ireland - visited MIL and DUncle a lot (he lived with her) but we were actually talking about what she'd (MIL) done in the past including her (MIL) learning French as parents have a holiday home in France and we also talked about other things. But we included MIL as a person rather than just a mother, and not just a mother but a Catholic mother who had been quite strict! That went a long way to helping relations improve.

[Moonface123]

Lets see what your DILs and SILs think of you.
Alot of women treat their own mum like a best friend, and expect partner to get along, but different attitude when it comes to his Mum.

[JoshuasLemonGrove]

I had a lovely MIL, thoughtful, kind, caring. Sadly she died 7 years ago and I miss her at Christmas the most as she used to do lots of teeny little things for the children that made it really special.

[LadyCampanulaTottington]

I adore my MIL, she’s amazing.

I hate my mother, loathe her is the right term.

[icedcoffees]

We're not especially close but she's never been anything but kind welcoming to me. My FIL is similar - they're both absolutely lovely.

[Maxiedog123]

My mother in law is lovely, I didn't much like my FIL though ( long deceased).

[Missrabbitt]

Mine is lovely. I only have daughters and so have a slim chance of ever having a DIL which is a shame.

[Quickchangeartiste]

My MIL is infuriating at times, but I don’t hate her. I find it frustrating that we are not able to be totally Frank with one another as I was with my own mum - if I was precious my mum absolutely called me out on it, and if she pulled MILs tricks I would have done the same to her.
But with MIL I have to tread on eggshells ( DH family would never challenge her ) and the whole family just seethes silently at each other 😂

[neverornow]

I used to feel this way but after realising she was just a deeply insecure person, I now understand her better and have a lot of empathy for her. I know that sounds patronising but it's true.

[speakout]

*These generalising comments are utterly ridiculous. MIL are mother's of sons, which if my dodgy maths is correct, is more than half of all mothers. Even allowing for the slightly awkward situation that the DIL/MIL relationship can be, you cannot truthfully say anything negative about them in general, or even a majority.
*

Exactly. And many of the posters will become MILs themsselves one day.
It doesn't add up.
I am not best friends with my own MIL, but we have a fondness and I have a better relationship with her than I do my own moher.

[GentlemanJayFab]

Hate is a very strong word. I disliked my ex MIL. She controlled her daughters like two puppets.

[FeeLock]

I've always maintained that despite a man's MIL being fodder for tired old comedians, a woman's MIL is a much more complex - and usually more fractious - relationship. You have my sympathies, @Aaa456789.

Mine was utterly wonderful and quite the best if the world, but many of them don't want to put in the effort and simply see their DILs as a convenient scapegoat for all their sadness at losing their son.

Sending you love and flowers and a kindly thought from my beloved own MIL, who would undoubtedly have been the one you really needed to have had.

[fournonblondes]

Yes, I ditched mine years ago. Bloody witch was a control freak and talked like a crazy parrot. Guess she still is but I do not have to see her.

[DevonSunsets]

My MIL is a outstandingly lovely woman.

My mother is um, troublesome.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

MILs are just mothers, like most of us.

My should-have-been MiL died from cancer after I'd known her only a couple of years. She never saw her children married, and never knew her grandchildren.
I hate these threads.

[Politics4me]

My PIL were great, after about a year. PIL thought I was 'jack the lad' and would be gone after a while.
But after they realised that we were happy and making marriage work they changed. Later they were incredibly kind to me and the grandchildren. MIL was always generous with the whiskey and the cigarettes.
On the other hand my Mother was always a bit grudging toward my DW. But then she always spoke to me as if I was still 17 even after I turned 40 and we had the children. Was that attitude in women of that generation more common than now?