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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have to say it somewhere… I HATE HER ARGHHHHH

127 replies

Aaa456789 · 08/12/2021 13:28

Does anyone else have a MIL who has to much to say. Thinks she knows it all, but doesn’t realise how ridiculous she looks wile spouting all wrong information?

I can’t say it to anyone in RL, I visit as less as I can but yet she still infuriates me the sh*t she comes out with!!

Is this a normal MIL issue? Are they all the same?

How will I survive 🤣

OP posts:
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 08/12/2021 14:38

When we told mil I was pregnant and dh had left the room she almost spat in my face ranting his ex had wanted his babies!!
Shock
She dumped us when ds was born. Not seen her for nearly years.
Definitely recommend it!!

Tal45 · 08/12/2021 14:40

My MIL was awful, I was so relieved when she died.

Bancha · 08/12/2021 14:41

My MIL is absolutely lovely. She is an inspirational woman whom I admire very much. Some of DH’s family dynamics drive me nuts, which I think is pretty normal. But I consider my MIL like another mum to me. My DH and my mum also get on brilliantly - though similarly our family dynamics completely confuse and infuriate him too!

I understand that some people in the world are total arseholes, but I really dislike the more general MIL trope. It is pure ageism and misogyny.

rumblypumbly · 08/12/2021 14:42

My mil is fab. My own mother on the other hand....

pointythings · 08/12/2021 14:43

My MIL was wonderful. We got on like a house on fire (no, not scorching brickwork and fried electrics!) and she was fine with us doing things very differently from how she had done them because she knew times change. My late husband also loved my parents.

All my DC have partners and I love every single one of them.

Soldoutinyoursize · 08/12/2021 14:46

Just my experience but all the people I know in RL that have issues with their MiL seem to have issues with lots of folks and almost relish in the 'drama'.

Justarandompersonontheinternet · 08/12/2021 14:46

I went n/c with mine after I reached my tipping point two years ago. She’s now facing her second Christmas alone. Perhaps she should have appreciated the effort I’d made for almost 20 years. I hope now she can see that it was me who was putting in the effort, and not her darling baby boy after all…

musicviking1 · 08/12/2021 14:48

No. Mines ok thankfully.

Hadalifeonce · 08/12/2021 14:48

My ex MiL obviously didn't like me, accusing me of being pregnant when we announced our engagement, she almost called me a liar when I said I wasn't.
Every time something wrong, nasty or prejudiced came out of her mouth, I pulled her up on it. I wasn't prepared to sit back, when there were times she was openly hostile to me, just because she was my DH's mother. She was exactly the same to her other DiL. It was as if she didn't consider us family.

Justarandompersonontheinternet · 08/12/2021 14:49

Oh and for what it’s worth, I have never encountered a person like this before or since. I have a wonderful relationship with with all other members of my family and extended family. I work with an excellent bunch of people and have lifelong friends. I wondered if it was me for many years which was actually pretty damaging to my mental health. Now I have healed and could never accept her back into my life. She doesn’t have any friends. I feel sorry for her.

LeonaMar · 08/12/2021 14:50

I despise mine. I’ve never met anyone quite like her. Vile, nasty, plays the victim, childish, narcistic.

foreverandalways · 08/12/2021 14:51

I had a mil from absolute hell.....I try to be the best mil I can.....total opposite to what I had to endure for many years sadly.....easier to go no contact

timestheyarechanging · 08/12/2021 14:59

Mine was lovely - a wonderful woman who was kind, loving, generous, intelligent, fun, committed her life to helping others as a nurse. I was very lucky. She became my mums close friend. We all miss her very much as she sadly died last year ❤️

Fetchthevet · 08/12/2021 15:00

I don't have a Mil. But I do have a sexist, racist know it all FiL instead. He thinks he is absolutely hilarious, but he is actually an offensive idiot. He also only lives 2 doors away which is annoying as I have to see him all the time and he can just turn up anytime of the day or night.

ginslinger · 08/12/2021 15:01

I have a great relationship with my MIL - we both love her son and we are both good at compromising

timestheyarechanging · 08/12/2021 15:02

Oh and me and her son divorced 10yrs ago, amicably and I remained close to her until she sadly died. Fantastic woman for whom I will always be grateful to have had in mine and my (now adult) children's' lives.

Mammma91 · 08/12/2021 15:03

@Justilou1 .. that was my first thought too. She used to hate me. No idea what changed (I suspect DP had some stern words). I just want to be civil - not her best friend

timestheyarechanging · 08/12/2021 15:04

....also my mums is a fab MIL - still close to my exH and the rest of his family and a great MIL to my sisters husband who thinks of her like a mum (his died a few years ago) and my partner thinks the world of her. He can't wait to spend Christmas with her, my dad and the rest of the family.

larkle · 08/12/2021 15:07

So much 'sageism' on MN (sexism and ageism combined). It is a hotbed of misogynistic attitudes when it comes to MILs and SILs. I hate the way some threads and posts play into stereotypes about the relationships between women.
Not good MN

Ellabellaboo2020 · 08/12/2021 15:09

I have an amazing MIL and SIL both are such lovely people couldn’t ask for better. My ex MIL on the other hand……

FinallyFluid · 08/12/2021 15:10

My mother is brilliant, absolutely no trouble.

She's dead mind you, but no trouble at all. GrinGrin

Boscoforever · 08/12/2021 15:12

My own mum's MIL lived with us when we were little, and mum says she was a great woman.
My own MIL is dead now, unfortunately, but we used to have some great chat on the phone, and whilst we didn't always see eye to eye, I really loved her and am so sad she has gone.
My mum and husband are close.

Marimaur · 08/12/2021 15:12

My MiL is nice. We’re from different backgrounds and sometimes have a different way of looking at things, but I think we make an effort with each other.

Ratched · 08/12/2021 15:12

It's amazing how some of us totally shit, horrible Mils who some even look forward to dying (wtf), managed to birth husbands or partners good enough for you to marry.

Oohh, I know, let's have a thread on shit, lazy wannabe DiLs? That would be fun. Not.

BTW, I adore my DiL. Threads like these are pathetic.

oakleaffy · 08/12/2021 15:13

What is so ironic...Most people who are bitching about MILs will one day be one.
What goes around comes around.
I'm not a MIL, but had a lovely one. RIP Betty