Drunken abuse, does it mean anything?

[Anon0707]

I personally see alcohol as a truth serum although I know there is a lot of research that says the opposite so I’m just wondering your thoughts.
Been with dp for 4 years. He’s always been a heavy drinker however stopped drinking around me over a year ago due to how drastically his personality changes.
We don’t live together so when he is at his home he still drinks, I will only need to say something that he disagrees with for him to then get drunk and verbally abuse me through text.
In general I’m told that I’m ugly, that I let my dc’s get away with murder, I’m a ct, he doesn’t sleep with me because he doesn’t fancy me etc etc
This happens literally every time he drinks to excess and he’s in a bad mood
A few days ago he did this again, he sent me a photo saying look at how ugly you are and that I was a ct.
I have subsequently blocked his number, I knew he would continue drinking over the following days so I’d just be subjected to yet more abuse until he was back in work and sober.
Im now waiting for the no caller ID to pop up on my phone and a ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t mean any of it, I was drunk and upset’ voicemail.
He swears blind he doesn’t mean anything he says when he’s drunk, that I should just ignore him.
IMO that’s a really good excuse to be an abuser but take no accountability for your actions
Just wondering what everyone else’s thoughts are.
I’ve had 4 years of this crap and it’s worn me out now.

My alcoholic exh did this. I used to tell myself it was because he hated himself so much he took it out on me. Then he turned paranoid and violent and became a full blown alcoholic. For you i would recommend al anon whether or not you leave him. He is unlikely to get better and will probably get worse. You don't have to put up with this.

Drunken abuse means your abuser is also a drunk. Neither of those things should be tolerated in isolation, but both together? You could hardly do worse.

The real question is:

Why have you allowed this alcoholic to verbally abuse you for 4 years and then gaslight you into believing it’s fine!?

Where is your self respect!?

Come on OP, you know he’s an utter dickhead and it’s time to leave him in the dust.

You should want more for yourself than this!

"A drunken man speaks a sober mind"

Op I'm so sorry for your loss

You need to stick by your resolve. I have been through this and it never would babe been ok, he loved booze more than he would ever love me.

You can do this, he is fucking awful, abusive and a shit parent.

*have, not babe

'Becoming an emotionally mature empath'

There are other offerings on the pitfalls of erring on the empath side, and also some very good videos on narcissism.