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Original poster

I might be starting to fall for you

71 replies

Hollyjollycrimbo · 02/12/2021 08:01

Said last night by my partner of over 3 years! We don’t live together and are trying to plan our futures together.
It transpires that he loves the physical side of our relationship but is not yet in love with me. Seemingly love and sex are the same thing.
And he’s in his 50s!
Time to let go?

OP posts:
Totalwasteofpaper · 02/12/2021 08:02

Wtaf?

Yes time to let go.

hahahawhatchalaughinat · 02/12/2021 08:03

I would in your shoes. Sex and love aren't the same! After 3 years if it isn't love, when will it be?

BeyondOurReef · 02/12/2021 08:03

Bloody hell.

How had this not come up in the previous 3 years?

FOJN · 02/12/2021 08:09

I don't think I would plan a future with someone who, after 3 years, hasn't developed a strong emotional attachment to me.

I'd also hate the fact that 3 years in the most valuable thing, for him, in the relationship was sex.

You could continue if it suits you but I would not plan to move in with this person and have joint financial commitments. If you want more then I'd end the relationship to free yourself to pursue it.

frozendaisy · 02/12/2021 08:10

Hope you replied
You mean you're fucking lovely to have me.

And then planned a weekend with a friend Christmas shopping with a wine or two thrown in.

DowntonCrabby · 02/12/2021 08:11

Christ, are you supposed to be grateful?

I’d let go, you deserve better OP.

MamDancer · 02/12/2021 08:13

Tell him to get himself a blow up doll for xmas.

Your present to yourself? Ditch the twat.

CSJobseeker · 02/12/2021 08:13

Yeah, someone this uncommitted after 4years probably isnt the right man to plan your future with!

CSJobseeker · 02/12/2021 08:13

Sorry 3 years. The point remains though

MMMarmite · 02/12/2021 08:21

God I thought this was going to be three weeks! No, I wouldn't be planning a future with him. He just sees you as a fuck buddy while this want a relationship.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 02/12/2021 08:23

Ah, I see he's coming up to retirement age. Wants to get his feet under your table so he's all set.

Ditch him!

Bagelsandbrie · 02/12/2021 08:23

Wow. Talk about taking his time!!

ManchesterTartwithCustard · 02/12/2021 08:24

Time to "let go"?

Sorry to say it but its time to gather up every single bit of him, pick him up and chuck him as far away as you can physically manage. This man is the type that will stall, dither, string you along, even " might start to fall for you" and then suddenly he will tell you that he is getting married to somebody else.
"Let him go" ?
Too right, ASAP
Sorry to be harsh, but there is somebody so much better out there for you, go and find him and don't worry about stepping on this loser on the way.

DrMorbius · 02/12/2021 08:29

I aiways say, (as a generalisation) there is a type of bloke, who is only ever with a partner until someone better comes along.

Sex is good so he is staying (for now).

lottiegarbanzo · 02/12/2021 09:14

So you've been FWB for three+ years and now he's starting to fall for you? (In his mind).

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2021 14:10

Let go?!! More like boot him out of your life & mind.

What an arse.

HaggisBurger · 02/12/2021 14:12

Two qualifying phrases to an already piss poor weak declaration of affection: “might” (but not sure) “starting to” (so not even actually falling).

Talk about damned with faint praise.

Tell him to eff off @Hollyjollycrimbo

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 02/12/2021 14:14

Let go?? Because he said that?? No way!!

Give him a hard fucking push!!

Wanker.

AnFiadhRua · 02/12/2021 14:16

He's still assessing after 3 years! 😵

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 02/12/2021 14:16

Was that supposed to be flattering? Even if it was 3 weeks I’d be Hmm at the sheer bollocks backhandedness of ‘might’ and ‘starting to’. Jog on.

AnFiadhRua · 02/12/2021 14:17

I know, like he's prize you might win.

Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 14:27

You are both trying to plan your future together?

He's an areshole, if he's single then, I have no doubt why he's single.
And if he's still married or in a relationship, then I would not trust him as far as you could throw him.

He sounds a delight.
Raise your standards, find a man thats grown up.

girlmom21 · 02/12/2021 14:40

Yeah chuck him in the bin

Skeumorph · 02/12/2021 14:44

Oh good god bin him.

Apart from that being one of the most BLEURGH lines in the book of irritatingly drippy things men say when they're trying to be romantic... what? 3 years? And he likes the sex but is only now progressing to deigning to inform you that he might just be more invested in little old you than just wanting to have sex with you!

Are you supposed to throw a party? Cry with gratitude all over his giant golden dick?

And he's in his 50s?!?!?!

Oh my god.

Skeumorph · 02/12/2021 14:46

Of course what you should do is just look coldly at him and say 'Oh shame! I'm past that now - I think of you more as a little hobby. You are very slow to process things, aren't you? Do you think that is age related??'

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