OLD advice

[VenusMantrap]

Been chatting to a guy that I wasn’t 100% sure about but interested enough to meet.
He was lovely in person, we got on pretty well and had a good first date, kissed at the end.

He’s still texting (and this might be just his style) but his compliments seem objective - ie I’m attractive rather than he thinks I’m attractive - I suppose I’m just noticing this as I find him very attractive now, having met etc. so I’m looking for return vibes. I’m definitely being more flirty but not sure he is 🤔

We’ve got another date planned, but he’s still checking tinder (as his location changes) even though we stopped texting on that a week or so ago.

As a man, does this mean he isn’t super keen? Any mind readers out there? 😂

You’ve had one date, of course he’s still checking tinder... ONE date

I think to most people "you're attractive" and "I think you're attractive mean the same thing". You sound like you're over thinking this massively.

You've been on a date, he's told you you're attractive, you find him attractive and you're going on a 2nd date. I don't think you can expect much more at this stage tbh.

And after one date, of course he's still on tinder. Why wouldn't he be?

It would be way worse if he was super-invested after just one meeting. He’s keeping his options open, which is sensible at this stage. If you’re keen on him just make it known and keep seeing him, fingers crossed!

If I was really analysing it I’d say that “you’re attractive” is more of a compliment than “I find you attractive” as the second suggests not everyone would consider you attractive. And it’s absolutely normal to carry on OLD after one date. I deactivated my profile after DP and I slept together but was still chatting and matching with men up until then. I think DP was still doing so for about another week until he asked if I was and we confirmed we wanted to be exclusive.

Good points!!
Just not v experienced in OLD and I’m not a multidater by nature.

Don't use OLD.
Don't use OLD.
Step away from the OLD screen Ma'am.

Be a multidater!

My OLD advice is date like a man.

Don’t play games
Don’t get overinvested too early
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

I met my husband OLD. It’s our 4 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. He’s bloody awesome.

It’s a strange new world that’s for sure.

So, keep swiping, texting and meeting up even though I’m dating this guy? I’m not sure I have enough time for all that!

I've heard more men describe 'attractive' as a kind of agreed objective standard, whereas to me it describes a personal standard.

I don't think you're 'dating' - you've had one date. You don't have to do anything else but I would keep a more detached mindset.

Wrong turn of phrase I didn’t mean we were dating as such but that I was arranging dates.

When I was last dating it was usually after a chance meeting or clicking with someone at a party or whatever, then arranging to see them again.
I wouldn’t have then clicked with anyone else in between and arranged a date with them - I know that’s a whole other ball game.

Back to the swiping 😊

@VenusMantrap

It’s a strange new world that’s for sure.

So, keep swiping, texting and meeting up even though I’m dating this guy? I’m not sure I have enough time for all that!

Yes! You’re not dating this guy. You’ve been on one date.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

It’s a numbers game honestly. Be quick to filter out the idiots too. Have a high bar and don’t put up with any shit.

When I met my husband. I had a drinks date on the Tuesday, my (unknown to me) future husband on the Friday and another date for coffee on the Saturday. After the date with Tuesday guy we arranged dinner on the Sunday.

They were all lovely guys.

I’ll be honest though, after I went on the Friday date I cancelled everything else! Totally broke my own rules but I just knew he was the one. And so did he.

5.5 years and 2 children later ❤️❤️