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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex of 5 years text me at midnight last night…

56 replies

ston · 26/11/2021 14:54

My ex of 5 years broke up with me at the end of July. My world completely changed from then. I went into a deep deep depression and had to go on antidepressants which I am still on. The breakup has impacted me in so many ways. I’m now dealing with acne again at 25 years old from all the stress it’s caused me.

I was so devasted when he broke up with me out the blue. I even met up with him a month after he broke up with me and slept with him. I was not in a good way then.

I have definitely got better since then. I did text him drunk about a month ago but after that night I deleted his number and haven’t interacted with him since.

In the last two weeks I’ve been to two black tie events with work in London. I wake up this morning and he had text me at midnight saying hey, how are you? I was obviously asleep so just replied this morning saying okay thanks you. He said that he was out drinking. He said to me “I see you’ve been living the high life, wining and dining and mingling with celebrities.” He also says things like I don’t want to never speak to you again (he said this last time I drunk text him first) and that he didn’t think I’d want me to text him. I haven’t been replying with much but he isn’t either. He took 2 hours to reply to one message.

It feels to me that he has seen I’m doing fine without him (I’m still not great but obviously Instagram stories show a different picture). Why has he text me if he cba to even reply/ make conversation. A drunk mistake? What do I do?

OP posts:
HoardingSamphireSaurus · 26/11/2021 14:56

Either

Fuck off

Or total silence

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 26/11/2021 14:57

Either way imagine this is a universe on which you never met him. Block him, forget him.

Ostryga · 26/11/2021 14:57

Stop replying to him. He’s trying to find out what you’re doing and get you to say you’re missing him so he can feel great about himself.

Block him everywhere and get on with your life without this loser.

Vursayles · 26/11/2021 14:57

Block, ignore, move on and live your best life. Come to terms with the ending of the relationship on your own terms and don’t give him the opportunity to jeopardise your future happiness by getting in touch for no reason whenever he damn feels like it.

He ended it with you, the least he can do is have some dignity and leave you alone. You deserve so much better. Fuck him.

Santaischeckinglists · 26/11/2021 14:58

Delete and block.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 26/11/2021 15:00

Delete, block.

litterbird · 26/11/2021 15:01

Do not entertain any further communication at all. You are on the path of recovery, I will guarantee if you keep up the texting you will go back and become further depressed. He needs an ego stroke because you are getting better without him, Stay well away,.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 26/11/2021 15:03

Delete and block.

AdmiralCain · 26/11/2021 15:05

This has happened to me a gazillion times, keeping you as a back up girlfriend, won't commit but want's to keep you in a glass jar that say's break incase of emergency / lonely.
It hit me this week I've wasted 20 years of my life loving the wrong people and i have nothing to show for it, Don't end up like me!!! Fuck him off!

Youknownothingsnow · 26/11/2021 15:06

Do nothing.

WatieKatie · 26/11/2021 15:06

He’s playing games. Be kind to yourself and block him. Don’t interact with him again.

Btw Dermalogica do a great range for acne prone skin.

FOJN · 26/11/2021 15:07

I wouldn't be wondering why he's doing something, he's not part of your life anymore, block and move on.

Staying in touch won't help you get over the break up, you're still monitoring how long it takes him to respond to your messages. Give yourself the distance of time without contact to fully recover from the hurt.

Pesimistic · 26/11/2021 15:07

Hes doing exactly what you thibk he's doing, he's seen you out enjoying your self, getting on with life and he doesn't like it, he wants you to be hurting and boosting his ego with drunken miss you texts, but he doesn't want you, he just doesn't want you to be over him. Block his number

Skippingabeat · 26/11/2021 15:07

You doing better and enjoying life without him is an insult to his ego. He wants you to suffer which is exactly why he broke up with you out of the blue.
No decent human being would do that, and no one would do that to someone they love.
Do you want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you're not over him yet? Or do you want to focus on yourself and you healing?
Block and delete and also block him on social media.

Pascal80 · 26/11/2021 15:07

It sounds to me that your are doing well! The acne will go away, but you do have a giant CARBUNCLE lingering that needs to be expunged - cut that bastard out of your life, do not reply to any contact from him at all please- and you will heal much faster.

You are 25 with your life and lots of love ahead! xxx

BorderlineHappy · 26/11/2021 15:07

see you’ve been living the high life, wining and dining and mingling with celebrities.”

Reply to him yes I am.And then block.

pumpkinpie01 · 26/11/2021 15:08

Complete ignore . My dd's bf finished with her earlier this year , he then comments on her Instagram and Snapchat constantly saying how lovely she looks . She said to me ' he does not have the right to do that and mess with my head he chose not to be with me ' and she blocked him on everything . Please do the same - look forwards not backwards

gamerchick · 26/11/2021 15:11

Sounds like it was a booth call that late.

Just ignore the daft twat. You don't owe him anything.

ToastieSnowy · 26/11/2021 15:12

He’s not happy that you’ve moved on and going to black tie parties ie not staying at home being upset that you’ve split up. Added to that because you slept together after a month splitting up he thinks he can sleep with you again when he likes.

He’s looking to make himself feel good by getting you to say you miss him or by sleeping with you again.

As you’ve already deleted his number, block him. You have the option to tell him to “fuck off” first.

Monalotmoore · 26/11/2021 15:14

So basically he's following you on social media? Any reason he's able to see you are winning and dining with celebs? Why isn't he blocked?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/11/2021 15:15

He's renting space in your head. Evict him.

And stop shagging wankers. It's never worth it.

sunnyzweibrucken · 26/11/2021 15:25

Block him. You will never get over him and move on if he keeps drawing you back in. I had to do that with an ex in order to get over him and it was best thing I ever did.

HollowTalk · 26/11/2021 15:30

He's a knob who was hoping for a booty call, but at the same time you're giving mixed messages by sleeping with him after he's dumped you and answering his messages. The only thing to do is block and ignore. Act as though he literally doesn't exist.

HollowTalk · 26/11/2021 15:31

@pumpkinpie01 Your daughter sounds brilliant.

ston · 26/11/2021 15:35

Yes we still have each other on Instagram. I wanted to block him but somehow my mind tells me that’s me telling him I care and he has impacted me.

I will stop replying now. He can clearly see I don’t care as much.

By the way we live 4 hours from each other so he definitely wasn’t expecting to meet me last night.

OP posts: