I asked a close relative to give me some space recently. There is a long history of me being their whipping boy, and them repeatedly doing things that I feel undermine me as a parent. Examples include mocking me to my kids because of my views on sticking to the rules during Covid, buying toys for them that I specifically said they couldn't have e.g. toy knives (I don't think 5 year olds need to play pretend stabbing games), and telling my 7 year old son that washing up is women's work and he needs to put me in my place when I ask him to help with smalls bits of housework. My visits with them also emotionally drained me, they were just hours full of them criticising the world in general, me, my siblings, their neighbours, their work colleagues - it exhausted me just being in a conversation with them.
I've never felt good enough, irrespective of anything I do and even though I helped them out a lot both emotionally and financially. None of my achievements get celebrated and I felt very let down growing up that I was so invisible to them until they needed something.
Its gone on for years and I finally flipped as I'd had enough. I was diagnosed with depression, I knew this relationship was a factor and I said I would like to have some space and distance to think about how we could move forward in a way that would work for everyone. I've had a text now to say that enough is enough, they want to know where they stand, its been very difficult for them managing on their own without my help, and that they've had enough of this nonsense about me needing space and want me to text them back because I've had enough time. If I'm honest I've only just started to unpick how I feel, its only been a couple of weeks. Other relatives and friends of theirs are now bombarding me with messages of how unfair I am being because they're so upset at being cut off.
I guess I am looking for views on whether that's reasonable for them to put a time limit on me "making up my mind". Stepping back was a hard thing for me to do, I am the quiet one who always says nothing when they upset me but I recognised it was having a serious effect on my mental health and I didn't want my kids to see me being treated like a joke either.
Does anyone have experience of a similar situation or some wise words? I've not responded as yet because I want to think about whether its even right to reply right now. I have been told that there's no apology on the cards - they think I am over reacting and being dramatic so I am not sure anything would change, and it could even get worse.