Husband a possible cocaine user? Don't know what to do.

[Vamoosh80]

Feeling all over the place. This morning when returning from taking my two young children to school I found a white bag of powder and a cut down straw on my driveway. I'm not a user but thought it looked like cocaine. Confronted my husband who admitted it was coke and was his given to him by a "customer" (he is a tradesman). He said he'd trimmed the straw in anticipation of taking it but thought better of it and was going to dispose of it at which point it's fallen out of a pocket. Assures me a one off and he's not a user. I think this is bullshit but I've got no idea. He's been massively irritable recently but that's the only change and in fact he said the reason he wanted to take it in the first place is because he feels down. Is he talking shite or could it be a coincidence that I've discovered it this time and it was a one off? Help me I feel sick!

Interesting ....I would say he's done it before. Sorry 😔

Sorry sounds like he is definitely using. The customer (dealer) wouldn’t supply it with a straw either. Thank goodness you found it and not a child. The fact that he was so careless shows it’s normal for him to have it. If I was walking around with a random bag of coke for the first time I wouldn’t lose it, I’d be a nervous wreck.

Ask him to do a drug test

@nancybotwinbloom

Ask him to do a drug test

This. And you'll know by his reaction once and for all. What has he got to lose?

Actually what happens to the cocaine? Was it binned? Did he take it from you?

We went through similar with a family member. Trust your gut. We ended up buying drug tests
From Amazon which they failed but that is a whole another thread z

Thanks for the replies. My gut tells me this just doesn't stack up. I've ordered some drugs tests from amazon and they will arrive Friday and I will demand he takes one but how reliable are they? They're urine sample ones. I took the cocaine and flushed it down the toilet myself. The children were stood right on the driveway this morning (they're little) so could have easily picked it up. Especially the straw which is definitely from our kitchen as it has a distinctive pattern on so they'd probably have automatically picked it up.

I have a feeling this is where I'm heading. I'm honestly shocked. My children are small and I can't risk them stumbling across drugs. Which they could so easily have done this morning. I've been with my husband 20 years and this has come so out of the blue.

Drug dealers do not give out cocaine for 'free'. Ask him how much of the family income he spent on this muck?

What a load of rubbish. People don't give bags of cocaine to their builders and plumbers- they make them a cup of tea if they're lucky!

He's bought it himself- the recent irritability/ feeling down is him on a come down after taking it.

Cocaine is very expensive. Noone randomly gives it away! I think your husband has brought it. However, he might not be a habitual user, he might have it before years ago and brought some when offered.

Have you noticed any other signs? Unexplained late nights? Coming home from "drinks" wired and chatty? Does he has red around his nostrils?

Also, even if it is a one off its perfectly ok for this to be a deal breaker for you. One of your children could easily have found it.

@KylieKoKo no signs no. His story is totally that he was offered some and thought he'd try it after last taking it tests ago. He has been irritable recently but no late nights or random drinks etc. We actually have very tame social lives.
I have never purchased drugs myself and must say I'm struggling to understand how you even come to be in a position (away from a nightclub etc) where you're offered cocaine?! And then how you'd drop it on your driveway if you did?

Cocaine users might have a runny nose the next day and be constantly touching a finger to their nose to rub a small drip away.

He must be a bloody good trades person to be paid in coke!

Tell him to pull the other one.

Depends, it could be a one off customer giving him some, depends who his customers are.

My friends ex husband works with cars and was often given Coke for jobs on the side etc so it's not a totally unreasonable excuse.

Still not good though at all xx

If you have shared money is a fair amount going out? 40, 50, 100, round numbers and cash withdrawals.

Does he sniff a lot? Nip off to other parts of the house frequently?

There are more things but that's a start.

Yes I'm sure it was his.

Sounds like he might be struggling generally.

Personally if no signs of regular use id talk to him about how he's feeling.

No one who uses it on the regular puts it in a pocket where it could fall out tbh.

I'm not you though. It's up to you.

I don't think, where come is concerned, that there is any "possible user" to be honest.
Anyone I've known who uses is absolutely unable to resist it, if it's around.

Oh! I didnt mean where "come" is concerned
It's a good typo though!

Sounds very odd, but in my experience of knowing a few including an employer who got hooked on coke "Cocaine personality" is pretty obvious... big highs of hyper, chatty, affable, bubbly & lows, very short tempered on the lows ... though if he's using at work, you might only see the lows

@RockinHorseShit

Sounds very odd, but in my experience of knowing a few including an employer who got hooked on coke "Cocaine personality" is pretty obvious... big highs of hyper, chatty, affable, bubbly & lows, very short tempered on the lows ... though if he's using at work, you might only see the lows

This. Plus 'chewing' weirdly when talking to you.

Well, he knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he? I’ve never used coke so I wouldn’t know to cut up a straw. Agree wit a PP - check your bank account. People don’t go round giving it away for free.

Thinking about this I th it's highly unlikely he was offered cocaine out of the blue. Dealing is illegal and carries a hefty prison sentence so dealers don't tend to advertise themselves to random people. At the very least your DH must have expressed an interest in it.